2010 is coming to an end.As usual when something comes to an end its a time for reflections and thoughts of things to come.For me the first thing that comes to mind is gratitude that I have survived another year together with all my loved ones.Life is fragile,I have seen a few good friends passing on ,and some coming down with old age or facing health problems.Some of my closest friends have either stopped playing golf or unable to do so.Indeed we have to be grateful that we can still do the things we have been doing.
On the work front it has been an eventful year.Hostel work is ever challenging because you are dealing with young people from all over the world ,with different cultures ,outlook and peculiarities but fairness and firmness in management will always win the day.Dealing with young people or anyone for that matter requires consideration, diplomacy,consistency,fairness and a genuine concern for their well being.I have in the course of the year counseled a fair number of residents for various offenses and they end up happy because we always give them a chance to talk and understand why what they are doing is not right and happily none of them appears before me again.Yes work is still interesting and challenging.I would not be here if it were not for this.
Travel has been less .As we grow older the desire for traveling diminishes because its stressful and tiring.Besides I have seen enough places,the US,UK,Japan,Philippines ,Europe ,China,Uzbekistan,Singapore and find that even though each country has its own unique attraction,there is actually no place like home.A lot of truth in the saying " A man roams the earth in search of happiness only to realize that he finds it in his own home".
Golf has become more challenging and I have always tried to challenge the existing paradigm that old people cannot do this and that.New friends, new golf courses ,new equipment makes the game a continuous fascination and I hope I can continue playing for at least a few more years.
Family ties have been good .Helen and Ming came back ,so did Lily and it was good to my sisters again after so long.Character wise Helen and Ming have not improved much but knowing them we tolerate ,accept and love them all the same.Wendy got her first baby and Sze and Andrew got married making us all so happy.Imn came back for the wedding and nothing makes us happier than to have all our family together.
2011 will be another year of Chinese New Year,Pai Thin Koong,Ching Ming,All Soul's Day,etc etc.We are happy and grateful that we can do yet one more round of all this.But for how long more???
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Life is so fragile...
Got the shock of my life when yesterday morning a friend called me and told me one of our golfing members Eugene passed away in SJMC of a heart attack.He was 58 years old,fit as a fiddle and such a good friend.We just could not believe it.It was so sudden and unexpected,never heard of him being sick or anything like that.He was so fit that he would fly back from Bangkok (he had his business there) on Saturday and was on the golf course with us early Sunday morning.
A nice guy,soft spoken,a true friend,a fierce golfer.why?why?
One would hardly expect this to a person like him.Heart attacks will strike anytime and anyone so we have to be on the alert all the time.It has been known to hit people in their twenties upwards and its good to learn more about this .For us older people we realise that we are living on bonus time and that we can go anytime through so many reasons.That is why when you are old enjoy life while you can, think no bad things about others,always count your blessings and be happy that you are alive and in good health.Good health is not automatic,it is something which you have to cultivate in order to get.Enough sleep,no over indulgence in anything,eat the right food ,exercise,regular check ups are all ingredients for good health.We all know this but how many of us practise it?
When someone you know suddenly passes away it sets you thinking.When is my turn?What should I do with the rest of my life?This I believe will make you a better person and look at the people around you with new perspectives.Life is short,its unpredictable so live it while you can.
RIP my good friend Eugene Tan.
A nice guy,soft spoken,a true friend,a fierce golfer.why?why?
One would hardly expect this to a person like him.Heart attacks will strike anytime and anyone so we have to be on the alert all the time.It has been known to hit people in their twenties upwards and its good to learn more about this .For us older people we realise that we are living on bonus time and that we can go anytime through so many reasons.That is why when you are old enjoy life while you can, think no bad things about others,always count your blessings and be happy that you are alive and in good health.Good health is not automatic,it is something which you have to cultivate in order to get.Enough sleep,no over indulgence in anything,eat the right food ,exercise,regular check ups are all ingredients for good health.We all know this but how many of us practise it?
When someone you know suddenly passes away it sets you thinking.When is my turn?What should I do with the rest of my life?This I believe will make you a better person and look at the people around you with new perspectives.Life is short,its unpredictable so live it while you can.
RIP my good friend Eugene Tan.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
My favorite place
The driving range at the Saujana Golf Club has become my favorite hangout.There is something about being in the driving range which makes you feel good and relaxed and it is a great stress reliever.Hitting about 100 to 200 balls gives you time to reflect on the game and takes your mind away from everything else.The view and the wind which blows into your face occasionally is so soothing and comforting.No disturbance from anybody,just the sound of clubs hitting balls .You can choose to go to one corner by yourself and just hit your balls and watch them fly into the sky or on the ground if you hit a bad shot.
It takes a lot of determination however to step into the range.At times you may be tired and since home is so near you might just want to give it a miss but the need to improve and exercise pushes you there and once there all else is forgotten.
Truly a fine place to chill out >Does not cost much and you can easily forget everything more more than an hour or even more.
It takes a lot of determination however to step into the range.At times you may be tired and since home is so near you might just want to give it a miss but the need to improve and exercise pushes you there and once there all else is forgotten.
Truly a fine place to chill out >Does not cost much and you can easily forget everything more more than an hour or even more.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Wedding
Today it is interesting to note that weddings have not changed very much especially so the Chinese ones which are steeped in tradition.It begins when two people decide to spend the rest of their lives together.In the olden days a representative from the male side would go to the girl's house to officially ask for the maiden's hand.The first visit by the rep is also accompanied by some form of gifts.
When the marriage is agreed to ,the dowry is then negotiated.It can range from huge sums of cash plus jewelery and dinners ,silken cloth and etc etc depending on the status of both families.Once this is agreed the auspicious date would be selected and thenceforth the groom and bride cannot meet.It was common in the early days for marriages to be arranged and there were not many love matches as male/female encounters were limited.
The wedding ceremony itself would involve the groom going to the bride's house with a lot of fanfare and a big delegation of supporters.Once the bride was received the couple would pay their respects to the parents and bow at the ancestral altar to get the blessings from the dearly departed.
After that its over to the groom's side where again the respects re paid to the parents and the bowing at the family altar.Then comes the wedding dinner attended by friends and relatives .It was usually lavish as the parents would want to announce to everyone that their daughter was married.The couple was expected to stay at the groom's house and the daughter in law had to be very obedient and courteous to the in laws.
Our youngest daughter got married traditionally on the 11th Dec. and we are all happy that she found the man of her choice in Andrew.As parents nothing make us happier than to see our children happily settled down.We can feel that they are compatible and hopefully Sze has made the right choice.A bit of the tradition mentioned above were followed but with some modifications.It was gratifying to see all the sisters and cousins chipping in to make sure everything went well for the little sister and they did a good job seeing that everything went on well.The distribution of work was nicely done and a fine testimony of how modern management can get things done efficiently.I believe everyone entrusted with the different tasks carried out their responsibility to the best and it was a good example of delegation of work.
Reminds me of the time when I got married.Mum was only 21 and I 27 .We had nothing ,our parents were unable to support us financially and we had to depend on ourselves.We had nothing except love and the courage to take the plunge.We did everything ourselves and there were no relatives to help us but at the end of the day we managed to survive the ceremonies and everything and after 43 years of marriage I believe we have no regrets .Life was tough for us but mum was a strong lady and through her inspiration and encouragement we made our lives into something meaningful,bringing up 4 children,educating them and seeing them become adults ready to live their lives on their own.A sterling example of team work...mum always believed that the woman should be one step behind the man and the house chores should be done by the lady thus giving the man his full attention to concentrate on his career.It worked well for us !
Three down and one to go and when Imn gets her marriage done we can say Mission Accomplished!
When the marriage is agreed to ,the dowry is then negotiated.It can range from huge sums of cash plus jewelery and dinners ,silken cloth and etc etc depending on the status of both families.Once this is agreed the auspicious date would be selected and thenceforth the groom and bride cannot meet.It was common in the early days for marriages to be arranged and there were not many love matches as male/female encounters were limited.
The wedding ceremony itself would involve the groom going to the bride's house with a lot of fanfare and a big delegation of supporters.Once the bride was received the couple would pay their respects to the parents and bow at the ancestral altar to get the blessings from the dearly departed.
After that its over to the groom's side where again the respects re paid to the parents and the bowing at the family altar.Then comes the wedding dinner attended by friends and relatives .It was usually lavish as the parents would want to announce to everyone that their daughter was married.The couple was expected to stay at the groom's house and the daughter in law had to be very obedient and courteous to the in laws.
Our youngest daughter got married traditionally on the 11th Dec. and we are all happy that she found the man of her choice in Andrew.As parents nothing make us happier than to see our children happily settled down.We can feel that they are compatible and hopefully Sze has made the right choice.A bit of the tradition mentioned above were followed but with some modifications.It was gratifying to see all the sisters and cousins chipping in to make sure everything went well for the little sister and they did a good job seeing that everything went on well.The distribution of work was nicely done and a fine testimony of how modern management can get things done efficiently.I believe everyone entrusted with the different tasks carried out their responsibility to the best and it was a good example of delegation of work.
Reminds me of the time when I got married.Mum was only 21 and I 27 .We had nothing ,our parents were unable to support us financially and we had to depend on ourselves.We had nothing except love and the courage to take the plunge.We did everything ourselves and there were no relatives to help us but at the end of the day we managed to survive the ceremonies and everything and after 43 years of marriage I believe we have no regrets .Life was tough for us but mum was a strong lady and through her inspiration and encouragement we made our lives into something meaningful,bringing up 4 children,educating them and seeing them become adults ready to live their lives on their own.A sterling example of team work...mum always believed that the woman should be one step behind the man and the house chores should be done by the lady thus giving the man his full attention to concentrate on his career.It worked well for us !
Three down and one to go and when Imn gets her marriage done we can say Mission Accomplished!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Health is wealth
You never realize how important health is until you fall sick.I was down with flu for two weeks and it was a miserable feeling.Coughing and have a weakened body with a loss of appetite made life so difficult.A blocked and running nose made sleeping difficult and many a night was spent tossing and turning.
The body is a wonderful piece of machinery and one just has to think of the many parts a body is made up of to realize the miracle that is in our body.That's why its important to take care of this machine in the best possible way.How? Every doctor will tell you,eat moderately, drink lots of water,avoid unhealthy food, have lots of rest and exercise and above all have peace of mind.We all know it yet how many of us follow such advice?Its only when you are sick that you begin to realize how important it is to keep healthy.
I had a number of medical experiences which made me realize that I want to avoid sickness.One was when I was a teenager and had to go for a hernia operation.I was operated on in a Batu Gajah hospital and spent about two weeks in the ward because I was not allowed to walk until the wound healed.The second was when I was attacked by Bell's Palsy a disease which attacked the nerves.Imagine the feeling when you wake up one morning and found that your mouth was crooked and your speech slurred.I was in my early forties at that time and the thought of being unable to work and support the family was frightening. Fortunately through a mix of Malay,Chinese and western medication and treatment I was cured and almost back to normal within a couple of months.
The latest was when I had to have a pacer put in my body because of irregular heartbeat.The operation though simple was frightening because every time you go under the operating theater you never know if you are coming out intact and to make matters worse the surgeon made a mistake the first time and had to redo the operation again.
Good health should never be taken for granted.Our body is precious and should never be abused by stress, late nights and over indulgence.A lifestyle of moderation and discipline would help you ensure that your body functions efficiently without you having to go through expensive and maybe painful medical treatment.There is a lot to be said about the old maxim "Prevention is better than cure".We tend to take too many things for granted but never lose track of the fact that good health does not happen just by itself..you have to take the necessary steps to bring it about!!!
The body is a wonderful piece of machinery and one just has to think of the many parts a body is made up of to realize the miracle that is in our body.That's why its important to take care of this machine in the best possible way.How? Every doctor will tell you,eat moderately, drink lots of water,avoid unhealthy food, have lots of rest and exercise and above all have peace of mind.We all know it yet how many of us follow such advice?Its only when you are sick that you begin to realize how important it is to keep healthy.
I had a number of medical experiences which made me realize that I want to avoid sickness.One was when I was a teenager and had to go for a hernia operation.I was operated on in a Batu Gajah hospital and spent about two weeks in the ward because I was not allowed to walk until the wound healed.The second was when I was attacked by Bell's Palsy a disease which attacked the nerves.Imagine the feeling when you wake up one morning and found that your mouth was crooked and your speech slurred.I was in my early forties at that time and the thought of being unable to work and support the family was frightening. Fortunately through a mix of Malay,Chinese and western medication and treatment I was cured and almost back to normal within a couple of months.
The latest was when I had to have a pacer put in my body because of irregular heartbeat.The operation though simple was frightening because every time you go under the operating theater you never know if you are coming out intact and to make matters worse the surgeon made a mistake the first time and had to redo the operation again.
Good health should never be taken for granted.Our body is precious and should never be abused by stress, late nights and over indulgence.A lifestyle of moderation and discipline would help you ensure that your body functions efficiently without you having to go through expensive and maybe painful medical treatment.There is a lot to be said about the old maxim "Prevention is better than cure".We tend to take too many things for granted but never lose track of the fact that good health does not happen just by itself..you have to take the necessary steps to bring it about!!!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Living with diabetes
I had been diagnosed with high sugar level in my blood.It is not something unexpected as my dad was diabetic.We only realised this after his retirement when he was eating well but losing weight.The issue was complicated by the fact he had stomach ulcers.
Knowing that one has a high sugar level puts one on the alert and hopefully with awareness the necessary precautions can be taken.
My doctor prescribed insulin injections which I refused to take as I do not want to be dependent on it for the rest of my life.The thought of jabbing yourself everyday is certainly unacceptable.I prefer to take the medication and go on a low sugar diet which means forgoing all sweet stuff like ice cream,chocolates ,cakes and all sorts of pastries and also a reduction of rice and noodles.
This coupled with exercise and lots of plain water should help control the sugar level.I cant imagine that at one time I was suffering from low sugar level,the symptoms of which are that your skin would itch whenever you face cold weather.The appearance of the high sugar level is probably due to unhealthy eating habits or hereditary of which nothing can be done.
To live with diabetes means that one has to forgo a lot of yummy sweet stuffs but through self control this should'nt be a problem.
Knowing that one has a high sugar level puts one on the alert and hopefully with awareness the necessary precautions can be taken.
My doctor prescribed insulin injections which I refused to take as I do not want to be dependent on it for the rest of my life.The thought of jabbing yourself everyday is certainly unacceptable.I prefer to take the medication and go on a low sugar diet which means forgoing all sweet stuff like ice cream,chocolates ,cakes and all sorts of pastries and also a reduction of rice and noodles.
This coupled with exercise and lots of plain water should help control the sugar level.I cant imagine that at one time I was suffering from low sugar level,the symptoms of which are that your skin would itch whenever you face cold weather.The appearance of the high sugar level is probably due to unhealthy eating habits or hereditary of which nothing can be done.
To live with diabetes means that one has to forgo a lot of yummy sweet stuffs but through self control this should'nt be a problem.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A quaint marriage tradition
Yesterday 17 Nov 2010 was a red letter day for our youngest daughter Sze.It was the day when the groom's side brought the traditional gifts as an official gesture that they are requesting for the girl's hand in marriage.The custom has evolved since the time it started.In the early days there would be a big delegation from the groom's side and they would bring all types of gifts made up of expensive silk cloth,exotic foodstuffs,gold and jewelery.The richer the groom is and the richer the lady is would determine the size and value of the dowry.
There would be a kind of procession involving the people who brought the gifts and those who were to receive them waited patiently for them to arrive.Before that there would be a negotiation from the groom's side and the bride's side regarding what would be the appropriate amount and what should the gifts be made up of.Sometimes this negotiation would end up in quarrels and before the couple even get started in life there would be dispute.
Today we leave it to the groom to bring what he felt like bringing and we never demanded a lot for our daughters because of the simple fact that we are not selling our daughters and the dowry was just a tradition to be followed.Mum and I always believed that there is no point in us asking for anything from the groom's side.What matters is the couple's happiness and that they have a good start in married life without having to incur expenditure which they can ill afford.Still tradition must be followed so we insisted on the dowry which we only took a token and returned the rest and the fruits and so on which we returned the bulk of .As mum says "Got come ,got go" in Cantonese.We did this because we wanted the other side to know that we are not selling our daughter for if we were to they will not be able to afford it because all our daughters are priceless.
Mum did a good job preparing everything in advance and the groom's representatives got a taste of her "Lum Mee" and they were really surprised that it tasted so good.After the lunch there was the small talk and tea before they left ,I believe quite happy.
The ceremony was a family affair and it was also to let both families know each other better.There is thus much to be said about our traditions which have been handed down for generations and if people can see the intrinsic value of such practices they would then find more meaning and understand why we must ensure that our traditions and practised for what are we if we do not value our traditions and heritage?
There would be a kind of procession involving the people who brought the gifts and those who were to receive them waited patiently for them to arrive.Before that there would be a negotiation from the groom's side and the bride's side regarding what would be the appropriate amount and what should the gifts be made up of.Sometimes this negotiation would end up in quarrels and before the couple even get started in life there would be dispute.
Today we leave it to the groom to bring what he felt like bringing and we never demanded a lot for our daughters because of the simple fact that we are not selling our daughters and the dowry was just a tradition to be followed.Mum and I always believed that there is no point in us asking for anything from the groom's side.What matters is the couple's happiness and that they have a good start in married life without having to incur expenditure which they can ill afford.Still tradition must be followed so we insisted on the dowry which we only took a token and returned the rest and the fruits and so on which we returned the bulk of .As mum says "Got come ,got go" in Cantonese.We did this because we wanted the other side to know that we are not selling our daughter for if we were to they will not be able to afford it because all our daughters are priceless.
Mum did a good job preparing everything in advance and the groom's representatives got a taste of her "Lum Mee" and they were really surprised that it tasted so good.After the lunch there was the small talk and tea before they left ,I believe quite happy.
The ceremony was a family affair and it was also to let both families know each other better.There is thus much to be said about our traditions which have been handed down for generations and if people can see the intrinsic value of such practices they would then find more meaning and understand why we must ensure that our traditions and practised for what are we if we do not value our traditions and heritage?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Something about food
Its interesting to note some of the background about food:
1.The Romans enjoyed food so much that they ate it many times during the night or day>What they do was after eating in one place ,they would tickle their throats and vomit everything out and then go on eating again.That is the classic example of living to eat.
2.The Chinese have food on all occasions.From the time a baby is born its eating to celebrate.Weddings ,birthdays ,full moons, anniversaries etc are incomplete without eating.Even at someone's funeral there is eating.
3.Families eat together all the time and there are some families where strict eating rules Re laid down.When I was young mum would insist that nothing is left on our plates ,not even a drop of rice telling us that if you leave things on your plate you will marry a pock faced partner.No one could come to the dinner table before showering and properly dressed and there should be no leftovers on the table.
The reunion dinner was a compulsory thing and all the traditional Hokkien food would be served.Duck soup with pork leg and salted vegetable,jiu hoo char with fresh vegetable leaves,chicken,mushroom and sometimes curry would be there for the dinner>To us it was an eagerly looked forward event as we seldom had these goodies but the spirit of the reunion dinner was not just the eating but having all the members of the family together and it was a time of merry making and family happiness.
4.The Asians are less formal when it comes to eating.Anyone coming by during meal time would be invited to join in.The Uzbeks are well known for their dining hospitality proudly saying that "An Uzbek would rather go hungry than let a guest go home hungry" and they really make sure it happens.An Uzbek dinner would take at least two hours to complete.Not so with the Americans or Brits..you only get to eat with them if you are invited.I had an American lecturer who invited me for lunch at his house one day and while we we eating his father came back and went up straight to his room and when I asked if he was going to join us my friend said "No ,I did not invite him"
What is common amongst all people is that we all celebrate or socialise with the aid of food hence eating is a universal unifying factor.It is said that we are too lavish with our food which is quite true and also that we tend to be too fussy about food.Sometimes when we fall into this category we should pause a second and think of all those unfortunate people who live in a state of hunger and deprivation
1.The Romans enjoyed food so much that they ate it many times during the night or day>What they do was after eating in one place ,they would tickle their throats and vomit everything out and then go on eating again.That is the classic example of living to eat.
2.The Chinese have food on all occasions.From the time a baby is born its eating to celebrate.Weddings ,birthdays ,full moons, anniversaries etc are incomplete without eating.Even at someone's funeral there is eating.
3.Families eat together all the time and there are some families where strict eating rules Re laid down.When I was young mum would insist that nothing is left on our plates ,not even a drop of rice telling us that if you leave things on your plate you will marry a pock faced partner.No one could come to the dinner table before showering and properly dressed and there should be no leftovers on the table.
The reunion dinner was a compulsory thing and all the traditional Hokkien food would be served.Duck soup with pork leg and salted vegetable,jiu hoo char with fresh vegetable leaves,chicken,mushroom and sometimes curry would be there for the dinner>To us it was an eagerly looked forward event as we seldom had these goodies but the spirit of the reunion dinner was not just the eating but having all the members of the family together and it was a time of merry making and family happiness.
4.The Asians are less formal when it comes to eating.Anyone coming by during meal time would be invited to join in.The Uzbeks are well known for their dining hospitality proudly saying that "An Uzbek would rather go hungry than let a guest go home hungry" and they really make sure it happens.An Uzbek dinner would take at least two hours to complete.Not so with the Americans or Brits..you only get to eat with them if you are invited.I had an American lecturer who invited me for lunch at his house one day and while we we eating his father came back and went up straight to his room and when I asked if he was going to join us my friend said "No ,I did not invite him"
What is common amongst all people is that we all celebrate or socialise with the aid of food hence eating is a universal unifying factor.It is said that we are too lavish with our food which is quite true and also that we tend to be too fussy about food.Sometimes when we fall into this category we should pause a second and think of all those unfortunate people who live in a state of hunger and deprivation
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Unpredictability of life .
Life can be very strange but it shows that the future is unpredictable que sera sera (whatever will be will be).Never would I have imagined years ago that today I would be sitting down typing on the computer.When I was a principal we were sent for computer courses but at the end of it none of us learned anything and we thought since we have our clerks and secretaries there was no need for us to learn.The first time I actually used the computer was when I was sent for a course in Stanford University USA.We had to do a 2500 min.word assignment and it had to be type written.We thought we could get one of the students to do it but the amount we had to pay was too high and we had no choice but to do it ourselves.Days and nights were spent struggling with the one finger typing but finally mission impossible accomplished.
Never did I think that I would spend more than a year working overseas but when I retired I was offered a job in Uzbekistan and because the money was good and needed I accepted.It turned out to be a great experience and an opportunity to live in a central Asian country was something else>I had good friends there amongst the Uzbeks and the Malaysian community and learnt alot about life under difficult circumstances which I guess in some respect changed my outlook in life.Surviving under hardship gave you the opportunity to learn more about yourself.The worst part was the cold winter nights spent alone by yourself in a cold apartment.Time was so difficult to pass so we had to find alternatives to keep occupied.
One of these things was cooking your own dinner which I had never done before and it turned out to be quite fun though the washing up was dreadful.
Having served in Tashkent I would have thought that it would be the last time I worked overseas.Suddenly in 2000 my nephew Suan Loong came to see me for help in an English learning centre which he was setting up with a friend in Xiamen China.Being retired at that time mum and I decided it was a good opportunity so we accepted and off we went to Xiamen.Another unexpected development.
After that I thought that would be the end so for a year a half mum and I enjoyed retired life in Ipoh.Then in early 2002, from out of the blue SB Cheah called me and asked me to help him set up his hostel in KL.? again? and why KL ?I had wanted to avoid KL right from the early days preferring to work in smaller towns and now in my twilight years why me?I tried to turn him down but SB had his ways and soon after New Year in 2002 we were in KL.Would I ever imagine working with my nephew and in KL at the age of 62?Most people would be happily retired by this age.Mum had something to say "You have been working for the family all your life ,now you can work just for the two of us!"words of wisdom which I accepted and till today I'm in KL and still working at the age of 70.I have decided that as long as I am still wanted I will continue to work because education is not just a job but also a vocation and as long as I can contribute why not?
Of course deep down I know mum and i yearn to be back in Ipoh but we have our children and grandchildren here and we shall have to make our little sacrifices.But being close and accessible to the children and grandchildren is something which we treasure and are blessed with.It might be good to be in Ipoh but just the two of us might pose some unforeseen problems like what if one of us were sick and one cannot leave the other alone.So we decided to count our blessings,after all we can always go back for the weekends though driving back can be quite a strain especially in the night or late evenings when it rains.
At 70 I would never had expected to be able to chat on line with my kids and be writing on this blog.Point to note ,the future cannot be foreseen and you never know what to expect but if you live a good life ,practise some of life's precious values ,do no evil you will definitely be blessed.
Never did I think that I would spend more than a year working overseas but when I retired I was offered a job in Uzbekistan and because the money was good and needed I accepted.It turned out to be a great experience and an opportunity to live in a central Asian country was something else>I had good friends there amongst the Uzbeks and the Malaysian community and learnt alot about life under difficult circumstances which I guess in some respect changed my outlook in life.Surviving under hardship gave you the opportunity to learn more about yourself.The worst part was the cold winter nights spent alone by yourself in a cold apartment.Time was so difficult to pass so we had to find alternatives to keep occupied.
One of these things was cooking your own dinner which I had never done before and it turned out to be quite fun though the washing up was dreadful.
Having served in Tashkent I would have thought that it would be the last time I worked overseas.Suddenly in 2000 my nephew Suan Loong came to see me for help in an English learning centre which he was setting up with a friend in Xiamen China.Being retired at that time mum and I decided it was a good opportunity so we accepted and off we went to Xiamen.Another unexpected development.
After that I thought that would be the end so for a year a half mum and I enjoyed retired life in Ipoh.Then in early 2002, from out of the blue SB Cheah called me and asked me to help him set up his hostel in KL.? again? and why KL ?I had wanted to avoid KL right from the early days preferring to work in smaller towns and now in my twilight years why me?I tried to turn him down but SB had his ways and soon after New Year in 2002 we were in KL.Would I ever imagine working with my nephew and in KL at the age of 62?Most people would be happily retired by this age.Mum had something to say "You have been working for the family all your life ,now you can work just for the two of us!"words of wisdom which I accepted and till today I'm in KL and still working at the age of 70.I have decided that as long as I am still wanted I will continue to work because education is not just a job but also a vocation and as long as I can contribute why not?
Of course deep down I know mum and i yearn to be back in Ipoh but we have our children and grandchildren here and we shall have to make our little sacrifices.But being close and accessible to the children and grandchildren is something which we treasure and are blessed with.It might be good to be in Ipoh but just the two of us might pose some unforeseen problems like what if one of us were sick and one cannot leave the other alone.So we decided to count our blessings,after all we can always go back for the weekends though driving back can be quite a strain especially in the night or late evenings when it rains.
At 70 I would never had expected to be able to chat on line with my kids and be writing on this blog.Point to note ,the future cannot be foreseen and you never know what to expect but if you live a good life ,practise some of life's precious values ,do no evil you will definitely be blessed.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Surviving at work (Part 2)
4) Going the extra mile.
To be the best in your position you need to have that little extras which would distinguish you from the mediocre.What are the extras? Initiative,proactive ,hardworking,focus and above all sensibility are some of the qualities which an outstanding staff will have.These traits will inevitably be noticed by the superiors in time to come but to be noticed is secondary>What is important is that we set our standards and live by them.This way ,we not only get self satisfaction but keep pushing ourselves to reach higher levels.
Look at some of the great people,they wake up early ,plan each hour in the day and little time is wasted in trivialities like gossip ,staring at the wall ,etc.
The road to the top is not easy but if we realise what it takes to get there we will get there one day.
When I was a teacher ,I wanted to be able to teach my subject well enough so that a percentage of my students got A s.That was my motivation and to achieve that I had to map out my strategy knowing that things dont just happen ,we got to make them happen and this can only be done through careful thought and strategies.
As school principal I wanted to make my school the best in academic achievement and the best in the extra curricular activities and more than anything to ensure that we produced the all rounded student,academically sound and morally strong.As a leader its no use if you yourself want this,the vision must be shared by your team ie the teachers,the students and parents.
In my lifetime career I had a number of firsts which I think one can be proud of:
1.I was the first Hons. graduate to work in schools in Teluk Intan.
2.I was the first non Brother to be appointed Head of a Mission School.
3.I was the first Headmaster who never served as an assistant Head first.In fact my promotion to headship was a double promotion.
4.I was the first non Malay District Education Officer in Perak and the last.
5.I was the first Chinese officer in the education dept. to be awarded the PMP by the Sultan of Perak.
6.I was the first and last Chinese Chief Inspector of Schools for the state of Perak.
These things did not happen by chance and it was some of the qualities which I mentioned earlier which got me there and looking back I think I have a track record which I can be proud of.
5.Your Image.
You must present an image commensurate with the position you hold.You may have simple tastes but in the world of work and business you would certainly need to project a certain standard in the way you dress and behave.People are very critical and they have certain expectations about how a person should look.When I was in the Inspectorate my friends described me as the best dressed officer from tie to shoes.And proud to say some of them even used me a s their role model.
Dressing to please oneself is one thing,dressing to the requirements of our status is another.Never be stereotyped in your dressing.Remember people are looking at you and you do not want to be known as so predictable when it comes to your dressing and professional image.I remember when I was with the Renong Group all senior officers had to be in coat and tie whenever we attended meetings outside and it spoke a lot for the image of the company.
Dressing should enhance your image and if you look at why the Chinese Emperors were dressed so lavishly you will realise that its because they wanted to present an aura of superiority.You certainly would think less of a person whose shirt is crumpled,tie a cheap one and shoes dirty looking.An impeccable dress image gains you a little bit more respectability and maybe credibility.
People are such they like to feel good just looking at you.
Being able to communicate at all levels is important and dont just talk because you have to say something .Be known as a chatterbox ,or empty vessel making alot of noise or as a person of few words is all up to you.
6.Interpersonal relationship.
be polite and courteous.It costs you nothing but can give you so much in return.Compliment your staff or colleague every now and then,it gives them that little extra to maybe go through a difficult day.If you need to reprimand do so in a diplomatic way.Tear them to pieces at the beginning if you need to but before they leave you make sure you restore their self esteem.Your tearing them to pieces will make them learn and your restoration will give them the motivation to become better.
Working life is full of challenges and you cannot avoid meeting and dealing with all types of people.Understanding people,knowing yourself and keeping track of your own work objectives will make your work so much more fun and enjoyable.Learn to keep work in the office and be able to switch off when you leave the place of work.There was a joke about a husband and wife team who were said to discuss business plans and strategies at home during dinner and before sleeping until their children told them off.
To be the best in your position you need to have that little extras which would distinguish you from the mediocre.What are the extras? Initiative,proactive ,hardworking,focus and above all sensibility are some of the qualities which an outstanding staff will have.These traits will inevitably be noticed by the superiors in time to come but to be noticed is secondary>What is important is that we set our standards and live by them.This way ,we not only get self satisfaction but keep pushing ourselves to reach higher levels.
Look at some of the great people,they wake up early ,plan each hour in the day and little time is wasted in trivialities like gossip ,staring at the wall ,etc.
The road to the top is not easy but if we realise what it takes to get there we will get there one day.
When I was a teacher ,I wanted to be able to teach my subject well enough so that a percentage of my students got A s.That was my motivation and to achieve that I had to map out my strategy knowing that things dont just happen ,we got to make them happen and this can only be done through careful thought and strategies.
As school principal I wanted to make my school the best in academic achievement and the best in the extra curricular activities and more than anything to ensure that we produced the all rounded student,academically sound and morally strong.As a leader its no use if you yourself want this,the vision must be shared by your team ie the teachers,the students and parents.
In my lifetime career I had a number of firsts which I think one can be proud of:
1.I was the first Hons. graduate to work in schools in Teluk Intan.
2.I was the first non Brother to be appointed Head of a Mission School.
3.I was the first Headmaster who never served as an assistant Head first.In fact my promotion to headship was a double promotion.
4.I was the first non Malay District Education Officer in Perak and the last.
5.I was the first Chinese officer in the education dept. to be awarded the PMP by the Sultan of Perak.
6.I was the first and last Chinese Chief Inspector of Schools for the state of Perak.
These things did not happen by chance and it was some of the qualities which I mentioned earlier which got me there and looking back I think I have a track record which I can be proud of.
5.Your Image.
You must present an image commensurate with the position you hold.You may have simple tastes but in the world of work and business you would certainly need to project a certain standard in the way you dress and behave.People are very critical and they have certain expectations about how a person should look.When I was in the Inspectorate my friends described me as the best dressed officer from tie to shoes.And proud to say some of them even used me a s their role model.
Dressing to please oneself is one thing,dressing to the requirements of our status is another.Never be stereotyped in your dressing.Remember people are looking at you and you do not want to be known as so predictable when it comes to your dressing and professional image.I remember when I was with the Renong Group all senior officers had to be in coat and tie whenever we attended meetings outside and it spoke a lot for the image of the company.
Dressing should enhance your image and if you look at why the Chinese Emperors were dressed so lavishly you will realise that its because they wanted to present an aura of superiority.You certainly would think less of a person whose shirt is crumpled,tie a cheap one and shoes dirty looking.An impeccable dress image gains you a little bit more respectability and maybe credibility.
People are such they like to feel good just looking at you.
Being able to communicate at all levels is important and dont just talk because you have to say something .Be known as a chatterbox ,or empty vessel making alot of noise or as a person of few words is all up to you.
6.Interpersonal relationship.
be polite and courteous.It costs you nothing but can give you so much in return.Compliment your staff or colleague every now and then,it gives them that little extra to maybe go through a difficult day.If you need to reprimand do so in a diplomatic way.Tear them to pieces at the beginning if you need to but before they leave you make sure you restore their self esteem.Your tearing them to pieces will make them learn and your restoration will give them the motivation to become better.
Working life is full of challenges and you cannot avoid meeting and dealing with all types of people.Understanding people,knowing yourself and keeping track of your own work objectives will make your work so much more fun and enjoyable.Learn to keep work in the office and be able to switch off when you leave the place of work.There was a joke about a husband and wife team who were said to discuss business plans and strategies at home during dinner and before sleeping until their children told them off.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Surviving at work
Having worked since I was 19 i believe I'm in a position to offer some advice to the younger ones on how to survive at work.
1.Your work .
Make sure you know your job scope .This is the basis of what you are there for.Master the things which you have to do daily and be punctual when it comes to meeting deadlines.Never let your boss remind you that a piece of work is due.
If you are competent in your job no one can touch you.Aim for the sky, be the best in your field and realize that to do that there is no substitute for hard work.
Develop your own work brand.What sort of person do you want to be known as? Hardworking? Pleasant?Reasonable?Knowledgeable?Approachable? A team player?It is important for people whom you work with to identify you with certain traits.When I was the District Education Officer ,one of the Directors of Education in his farewell speech said"I wish I had the diplomacy and patience of Mr.Toh".It was a good compliment and that was my brand mark while I was in service as stated by my superior.
2.Your attitude.
How do you view your work? Like it? tolerate it? enjoy it?.A lot depends on how you view your work.If you enjoy doing what you are doing that's fine but if you are not then everything becomes a drag and maybe its time to take a step back and decide what to do.Continue with what you are doing or take the next bold step?Take the case of a CEO in one company who was laid off because of bad times and went on to make pastries and became so successful that he never went back to the corporate world.
A cheerful and friendly demeanor will make your working life so much more pleasant.Look at things from a positive perspective and never let work problems upset you ,just tell yourself these things are part and parcel of working life.
3.Dealing with people.
People are part of every organization and you cant run away from this fact and there are all types of people whom we come across.If you are in a position of authority you have to learn to be objective and mould everyone into a cohesive team member.Never get personal in a working relationship .Its so easy to personal but so difficult to be objective.Be a team player yourself and always think of group interest instead of your own.But being a team player does not mean that you follow blindly for at times you may disagree with the group and in such cases at least have your say.
Look at the good side of others and try to overlook their weaknesses.That is human nature.By so doing you become more positive yourself.People do change and will change if they see the need for it.There are examples of people who have changed for the better or worse because of a certain catalyst.The key is what will the catalyst be?Can you be that catalyst yourself or be the one to initiate it?
(To be continued)
1.Your work .
Make sure you know your job scope .This is the basis of what you are there for.Master the things which you have to do daily and be punctual when it comes to meeting deadlines.Never let your boss remind you that a piece of work is due.
If you are competent in your job no one can touch you.Aim for the sky, be the best in your field and realize that to do that there is no substitute for hard work.
Develop your own work brand.What sort of person do you want to be known as? Hardworking? Pleasant?Reasonable?Knowledgeable?Approachable? A team player?It is important for people whom you work with to identify you with certain traits.When I was the District Education Officer ,one of the Directors of Education in his farewell speech said"I wish I had the diplomacy and patience of Mr.Toh".It was a good compliment and that was my brand mark while I was in service as stated by my superior.
2.Your attitude.
How do you view your work? Like it? tolerate it? enjoy it?.A lot depends on how you view your work.If you enjoy doing what you are doing that's fine but if you are not then everything becomes a drag and maybe its time to take a step back and decide what to do.Continue with what you are doing or take the next bold step?Take the case of a CEO in one company who was laid off because of bad times and went on to make pastries and became so successful that he never went back to the corporate world.
A cheerful and friendly demeanor will make your working life so much more pleasant.Look at things from a positive perspective and never let work problems upset you ,just tell yourself these things are part and parcel of working life.
3.Dealing with people.
People are part of every organization and you cant run away from this fact and there are all types of people whom we come across.If you are in a position of authority you have to learn to be objective and mould everyone into a cohesive team member.Never get personal in a working relationship .Its so easy to personal but so difficult to be objective.Be a team player yourself and always think of group interest instead of your own.But being a team player does not mean that you follow blindly for at times you may disagree with the group and in such cases at least have your say.
Look at the good side of others and try to overlook their weaknesses.That is human nature.By so doing you become more positive yourself.People do change and will change if they see the need for it.There are examples of people who have changed for the better or worse because of a certain catalyst.The key is what will the catalyst be?Can you be that catalyst yourself or be the one to initiate it?
(To be continued)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tradition Vs Change
Sometimes people change for the sake of changing without knowing why.Change to keep up with the times is fine eg in the technological era you have to change yourself by learning how to use the computer and thus have access to the world of information,change in your lifestyle to cope with the demands of modern day living,the food you eat,the things you do etc.But there are some things which should not change and must not be change and one of them is TRADITION which as defined in the Oxford dictionary means"Opinion or belief or custom handed down,handing down of these from ancestors to posterity especially orally or by practice".
A wonderful definition I must say and a reminder to the younger ones that :1)they should know what these traditions are and 2) upkeep these traditions and 3) value our traditions because they are what make us what we are.
As Chinese we must know where our forefathers came from ,why they came and what were the important things to them.The Chinese always revere their forefathers because of this and this reverence and honour is especially shown on Ching Ming day or ancestor remembrance day where traditionally offerings are made in the belief that the dead can receive them for use in the afterlife.Traditionally as a mark of respect jossticks and candles are burnt at the graves.This is tradition and has nothing to do with religion.But there are some idiots with the "holier than thou" mentality who are confused between the two and refuse to light the jossticks .Pretty ignorant idiots I would say.
Our traditions make us what we are and we must understand and follow these traditions.If we do not then what are we?There are so many traditions amongst the Chinese because we have one of the oldest civilizations and we had a lot of famous Chinese thinkers and philosophers whose teachings and examples are even adopted by the western countries.The teachings of Confucious and Lao Tzu for example are still being analyzed and studied to this very day.
I cannot tolerate the so called Christians who refuse to know what traditions are and try to show that they are more Christian than others and in the process actually show how shallow and ignorant they are.
The Chinese have many good traditions like filial piety,respect for the elders,celebration of festivals ,family responsibility etc all of which if practised and upheld would certainly make us all better persons and the world a better place.
A wonderful definition I must say and a reminder to the younger ones that :1)they should know what these traditions are and 2) upkeep these traditions and 3) value our traditions because they are what make us what we are.
As Chinese we must know where our forefathers came from ,why they came and what were the important things to them.The Chinese always revere their forefathers because of this and this reverence and honour is especially shown on Ching Ming day or ancestor remembrance day where traditionally offerings are made in the belief that the dead can receive them for use in the afterlife.Traditionally as a mark of respect jossticks and candles are burnt at the graves.This is tradition and has nothing to do with religion.But there are some idiots with the "holier than thou" mentality who are confused between the two and refuse to light the jossticks .Pretty ignorant idiots I would say.
Our traditions make us what we are and we must understand and follow these traditions.If we do not then what are we?There are so many traditions amongst the Chinese because we have one of the oldest civilizations and we had a lot of famous Chinese thinkers and philosophers whose teachings and examples are even adopted by the western countries.The teachings of Confucious and Lao Tzu for example are still being analyzed and studied to this very day.
I cannot tolerate the so called Christians who refuse to know what traditions are and try to show that they are more Christian than others and in the process actually show how shallow and ignorant they are.
The Chinese have many good traditions like filial piety,respect for the elders,celebration of festivals ,family responsibility etc all of which if practised and upheld would certainly make us all better persons and the world a better place.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Changing values
Life has changed drastically from the time I was young till now.One conspicuous change is in our values.We used to live with very strict parents especially my mum .Children were to be seen and not heard and to argue with the elders was considered disrespectful.Dinner was only eaten when the head of the family sat down and everyone must have bathed and clean.Dinner was usually simple with everyone eating a lot of rice to make sure that you do not go hungry the later part of the night unless you have some extra money and wanted to wait for the char keow teow man who usually came round at about 10.
Children were expected to give money to the parents every month,an obligation and a house law laid down by mum.I remember for as long as she and dad lived I had to make sure a part of my salary was set aside for them every month and mum would not let me go if I were a few days late in sending the money even to the extent of calling the school where I worked and demanding to know what's happening, why the money not sent blah blah blah.We took this as an obligation and did not actually grudge giving money to the parents.
Getting scolded and even whacked with the cane was a normal process of growing up.Relatives would visit each other regularly.I remember the first time we travelled in a bus and dad said he was taking us to makan angin and I actually opened my mouth to taste the angin.Silly me but it was the first time i even sat on a motor vehicle and it was a big deal.Dad would visit his mum in Bidor and later Tapah Road and his sisters in Bidor and Tapah Road too.Keeping in touche with the relatives was important and dad brought us up that way ,to be in touch with relatives as often as possible.Travel those days was by bus as we had no car of our own.Cars were not even considered as we knew we could not afford it.
New year was a time which we all looked forward to as everyone of us got new clothes and there were the ang pows to look forward to, but mum would take back the ang pows we collected saying that she had to give out to others.We only got to keep those given by mum and dad.We used to make our own cakes and that was in the spirit of the new year.We had to grind the rice into liquid,scrape the coconuts,cooked the koay kah pek (Loveletters) in the fire pit where the fire came from charcoal>It was hard work but everybody chipped in and it brought the family members so much closer.We used to compete to see who could make the most koays and who was the fastest.Making the new year cakes together was a great tradition which unfortunately is lost today as all these goodies are now sold in the market and we just buy them off the shelf.
Even the games we played has changed so much.Those days we had no computers,no handphones or astro.We made our own kites, our own spinning tops,and we palyed marbles and all the games you can think of.There was no racial factor, no need for 1 Malaysia,children were children and just played together,fought with each other and came to each other's house on festivals.The Chinese used to carry trays of cakes to the Malay and Indian neighbours houses and vice versa .It was a quaint practice which you dont see so much nowadays when you have the Open House being practised sometimes way after the festivals were over.Children dressed up in their new clothes and proudly carried the plates of goodies to the neighbours' house.Today?
Yes those were the good old days.Today we see a very materialistic culture where evryone is out to excel and in the process perhaps lose a bit of the important values in life!
Children were expected to give money to the parents every month,an obligation and a house law laid down by mum.I remember for as long as she and dad lived I had to make sure a part of my salary was set aside for them every month and mum would not let me go if I were a few days late in sending the money even to the extent of calling the school where I worked and demanding to know what's happening, why the money not sent blah blah blah.We took this as an obligation and did not actually grudge giving money to the parents.
Getting scolded and even whacked with the cane was a normal process of growing up.Relatives would visit each other regularly.I remember the first time we travelled in a bus and dad said he was taking us to makan angin and I actually opened my mouth to taste the angin.Silly me but it was the first time i even sat on a motor vehicle and it was a big deal.Dad would visit his mum in Bidor and later Tapah Road and his sisters in Bidor and Tapah Road too.Keeping in touche with the relatives was important and dad brought us up that way ,to be in touch with relatives as often as possible.Travel those days was by bus as we had no car of our own.Cars were not even considered as we knew we could not afford it.
New year was a time which we all looked forward to as everyone of us got new clothes and there were the ang pows to look forward to, but mum would take back the ang pows we collected saying that she had to give out to others.We only got to keep those given by mum and dad.We used to make our own cakes and that was in the spirit of the new year.We had to grind the rice into liquid,scrape the coconuts,cooked the koay kah pek (Loveletters) in the fire pit where the fire came from charcoal>It was hard work but everybody chipped in and it brought the family members so much closer.We used to compete to see who could make the most koays and who was the fastest.Making the new year cakes together was a great tradition which unfortunately is lost today as all these goodies are now sold in the market and we just buy them off the shelf.
Even the games we played has changed so much.Those days we had no computers,no handphones or astro.We made our own kites, our own spinning tops,and we palyed marbles and all the games you can think of.There was no racial factor, no need for 1 Malaysia,children were children and just played together,fought with each other and came to each other's house on festivals.The Chinese used to carry trays of cakes to the Malay and Indian neighbours houses and vice versa .It was a quaint practice which you dont see so much nowadays when you have the Open House being practised sometimes way after the festivals were over.Children dressed up in their new clothes and proudly carried the plates of goodies to the neighbours' house.Today?
Yes those were the good old days.Today we see a very materialistic culture where evryone is out to excel and in the process perhaps lose a bit of the important values in life!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Seventies
Everywhere I go nowadays people call me "Uncle" and it should be looked at gracefully and graciously.Age has caught up and there is no denying it and being aware of this fact helps you a lot go by each day.
Life is more relaxed as it should be.I work at my own pace and leave the actual hands on work to my staff whom I think are capable enough to handle the day to day requirements of the job.I have a good team of people working with me, young but experienced and committed.
At 70 I have a lot to be thankful for,reasonably good health,all my children with me and of course I still have my ever faithful partner.Not forgetting of course the sons in law and the two lovely grandchildren.We always believed that old people should not be a nuisance to the younger ones.That we learnt from my mother in law who stayed with us for many years and never once gave us any problem.She was a gem of a lady and that is why to this day I as the son in law would never fail to pay my respects to her on Ching Ming day , a small way of showing her the esteem which I always had for her.
Having her as the role model we try to be a bit of what she was.We should be seen and not heard,give opinions when asked for and go along with the younger people's whims and fancies.Sometimes there are things which hurts us but that hurt is shared only between mum and me.Aaron's education for example..we would have expected thatwe would be asked for our opinion about this even though Aaron is only 3 but people have their own mind sets.Heck we have been in education for years and I have risen from a teacher to the position of Chief Inspector of Schools for Perak one of the biggest states in the country and I was the first and only Chinese to hold that post.Does not make me qualified to give advice for my own grandchild's education??Its unfortunate that people who know nuts about education have the good sense to make such important decisions on education without even wanting to seek advice or opinions.The world is full of people with closed mind sets whose interest and knowledge do not go beyond their own limited field of interest.I am an economist and educationist but I learn about the world of sports,fashion, health,politics,herbs,psychology and anything else.My mind is always receptive to what I see,read and hear and that way the learning process continues.We listen,we analyse and we learn.Decisions have always to be made objectively and sensibly not emotionally.I have learnt a lot from mum because I have opened my ears and mind to whatever she tells me and lot of it makes sense so what's wrong with learning from it? Its surprising there are people who do not know how to listen,or dont want to listen because of their ego and closed mindset.Listening is a skill and not many people realise this.
So being elders we just keep our opinions to ourselves and try not to impose on the younger people.We go where they what to take us, eat what they want us to eat and only offer our views when asked for.So its a question for being accommodating instead of being accommodated to.How much time we have left no one knows but wht we would like is to spend the remainder of our time happily with our children and grandchildren and the in laws.A lot of times mum and I discuss our situation and all said and done we are happy.She can go with her friends anytime and wherever she wants.I never object,for me the less travelling especially be air the better.But that does not prevent me fro stopping he whenever she wants to go anywhere.To me its very simple,she has done so much for the family and she deserves every bit of enjoyment she wnats to have.
Me? I enjoy the simple things in life now >eat simple ,work at my pace ,walk the malls on my own,when I feel like it>Not much opportunity to watch my favourite TV shows because I have no TV and others always have priority.I was a TV bug but now at the most spend an hour watching things which others watch but this is called accommodating so its no big deal.Life is much more than that.I enjoy myself most eating with the family and being at the driving range or playing golf that's my quality time and I love the breeze ,the beauty of each golf course and the satisfaction when you play a good round.Of course watching the grandchildren grow up is another huge pleasure we get.Life is full of uncertainties ,we have to make the best of it,look at the bright side of things and count our blessings of which there are many instead of bemoaning our lacks.Looking at the bright side of things makes you so much more contented ,gives you that much needed peace of mind and you become a better person!
Life is more relaxed as it should be.I work at my own pace and leave the actual hands on work to my staff whom I think are capable enough to handle the day to day requirements of the job.I have a good team of people working with me, young but experienced and committed.
At 70 I have a lot to be thankful for,reasonably good health,all my children with me and of course I still have my ever faithful partner.Not forgetting of course the sons in law and the two lovely grandchildren.We always believed that old people should not be a nuisance to the younger ones.That we learnt from my mother in law who stayed with us for many years and never once gave us any problem.She was a gem of a lady and that is why to this day I as the son in law would never fail to pay my respects to her on Ching Ming day , a small way of showing her the esteem which I always had for her.
Having her as the role model we try to be a bit of what she was.We should be seen and not heard,give opinions when asked for and go along with the younger people's whims and fancies.Sometimes there are things which hurts us but that hurt is shared only between mum and me.Aaron's education for example..we would have expected thatwe would be asked for our opinion about this even though Aaron is only 3 but people have their own mind sets.Heck we have been in education for years and I have risen from a teacher to the position of Chief Inspector of Schools for Perak one of the biggest states in the country and I was the first and only Chinese to hold that post.Does not make me qualified to give advice for my own grandchild's education??Its unfortunate that people who know nuts about education have the good sense to make such important decisions on education without even wanting to seek advice or opinions.The world is full of people with closed mind sets whose interest and knowledge do not go beyond their own limited field of interest.I am an economist and educationist but I learn about the world of sports,fashion, health,politics,herbs,psychology and anything else.My mind is always receptive to what I see,read and hear and that way the learning process continues.We listen,we analyse and we learn.Decisions have always to be made objectively and sensibly not emotionally.I have learnt a lot from mum because I have opened my ears and mind to whatever she tells me and lot of it makes sense so what's wrong with learning from it? Its surprising there are people who do not know how to listen,or dont want to listen because of their ego and closed mindset.Listening is a skill and not many people realise this.
So being elders we just keep our opinions to ourselves and try not to impose on the younger people.We go where they what to take us, eat what they want us to eat and only offer our views when asked for.So its a question for being accommodating instead of being accommodated to.How much time we have left no one knows but wht we would like is to spend the remainder of our time happily with our children and grandchildren and the in laws.A lot of times mum and I discuss our situation and all said and done we are happy.She can go with her friends anytime and wherever she wants.I never object,for me the less travelling especially be air the better.But that does not prevent me fro stopping he whenever she wants to go anywhere.To me its very simple,she has done so much for the family and she deserves every bit of enjoyment she wnats to have.
Me? I enjoy the simple things in life now >eat simple ,work at my pace ,walk the malls on my own,when I feel like it>Not much opportunity to watch my favourite TV shows because I have no TV and others always have priority.I was a TV bug but now at the most spend an hour watching things which others watch but this is called accommodating so its no big deal.Life is much more than that.I enjoy myself most eating with the family and being at the driving range or playing golf that's my quality time and I love the breeze ,the beauty of each golf course and the satisfaction when you play a good round.Of course watching the grandchildren grow up is another huge pleasure we get.Life is full of uncertainties ,we have to make the best of it,look at the bright side of things and count our blessings of which there are many instead of bemoaning our lacks.Looking at the bright side of things makes you so much more contented ,gives you that much needed peace of mind and you become a better person!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Marriage now and before.
our youngest daughter is busy preparing for her marriage and I cant help but feel happy for her that she has found the right man in Andrew.The institution of marriage has not changed much since the day I got married 43 years ago .The proposal,the choosing of dresses ,photography sessions ,the wedding dinner,the teasing of the bridegroom,the yam cha ceremony etc but there are subtle differences.
When we got married we had nothing ,just each other and the desire to spend the rest of our lives together and face the future together as a couple.Mum was only 21 when we got married>I had no house,no money,no savings and no car but she decided I was the guy for her and that was all that mattered.
Our marriage dinner was held in the cheong Kee Restaurant in Teluk Intan and for the boy's side in an Association Hall in Ipoh.No frills just eat and go home.We spent our honeymoon in Cameron Highlands in the old Kowloon hotel and I remember I borrowed Uncle Ming's car a ford Cortina for the journey up thare.It was an unforgettable honeymoon ,the first time mum and me had the opportunity to be together.Whatever else did not matter ,we had nothing except each other and a strong determination to spend our lives together.
Today's young people are different,they want to make sure that they have everything before settling down and go through a lot of unnecessary stress preparing for their big day.To us at that time these things were not that quite important.
Well after 43 years of marriage we have come a long way ,we are blessed with our children, our sons in law,and two lovely grandchildren and more than anything else we still have each other.The journey to this day has not been easy,there were times when we felt so frustrated because we did not have the things we really wanted but we really tried in our small way and in the way we could afford to make sure our children had everything their friends had.We were fortunate we were teachers and would make sure that we took the kids out during the year end school holidays.Of course there were no fancy trips like going overseas but we went to nearly all the local tourist spots,Cameron Highlangds,Pangkor,Penang and sometimes Singapore.It was just as enjoyable and it was through these trips perhaps that the bonding between the children became stronger.Mum would always insist on these trips and I had to crack my head to find the budget so that the kids did not feel any financial constrains when they went for their holidays.
The marriage between two people is the first step in life's journey for a couple and one must never forget that to make a marriage successful it takes two.Awareness of each other's strength and weaknesses are important just as tolerance,concern,care,the spirit of give and take,the ability to share things by talking to each other and more important to understand that no one is perfect and that we cannot expect the other party to be what we are but to accept them for what they are.As long as two people can communicate a lot of things can be resolved but when communication breaks down then the trouble starts and one must never overlook the importance of mutual respect.To this day I would never do anything important before discussing it with mum,that is respect.
I remember an important quote about marriage "Before marriage open both your eyes,but after marriage close one".
When we got married we had nothing ,just each other and the desire to spend the rest of our lives together and face the future together as a couple.Mum was only 21 when we got married>I had no house,no money,no savings and no car but she decided I was the guy for her and that was all that mattered.
Our marriage dinner was held in the cheong Kee Restaurant in Teluk Intan and for the boy's side in an Association Hall in Ipoh.No frills just eat and go home.We spent our honeymoon in Cameron Highlands in the old Kowloon hotel and I remember I borrowed Uncle Ming's car a ford Cortina for the journey up thare.It was an unforgettable honeymoon ,the first time mum and me had the opportunity to be together.Whatever else did not matter ,we had nothing except each other and a strong determination to spend our lives together.
Today's young people are different,they want to make sure that they have everything before settling down and go through a lot of unnecessary stress preparing for their big day.To us at that time these things were not that quite important.
Well after 43 years of marriage we have come a long way ,we are blessed with our children, our sons in law,and two lovely grandchildren and more than anything else we still have each other.The journey to this day has not been easy,there were times when we felt so frustrated because we did not have the things we really wanted but we really tried in our small way and in the way we could afford to make sure our children had everything their friends had.We were fortunate we were teachers and would make sure that we took the kids out during the year end school holidays.Of course there were no fancy trips like going overseas but we went to nearly all the local tourist spots,Cameron Highlangds,Pangkor,Penang and sometimes Singapore.It was just as enjoyable and it was through these trips perhaps that the bonding between the children became stronger.Mum would always insist on these trips and I had to crack my head to find the budget so that the kids did not feel any financial constrains when they went for their holidays.
The marriage between two people is the first step in life's journey for a couple and one must never forget that to make a marriage successful it takes two.Awareness of each other's strength and weaknesses are important just as tolerance,concern,care,the spirit of give and take,the ability to share things by talking to each other and more important to understand that no one is perfect and that we cannot expect the other party to be what we are but to accept them for what they are.As long as two people can communicate a lot of things can be resolved but when communication breaks down then the trouble starts and one must never overlook the importance of mutual respect.To this day I would never do anything important before discussing it with mum,that is respect.
I remember an important quote about marriage "Before marriage open both your eyes,but after marriage close one".
Friday, August 13, 2010
Then and Now
Its amusing when we hear and read about all the hoo ha and jive about 1 Malaysia and the role of the English language.Being one who lived through the pre merdeka and post merdeka days one can easily see the differences.
When I was a kid we went to only two types of schools ,the govt.schools or the mission schools.Chinese,Indians .Malays and other races kids studied together.The medium of instruction was English and the teachers were all so proficient in the language.We ate together,played together and studied together.The teachers being teachers by choice were dedicated and knowledgeable and under such circumstances the students who were their products were also good.
No qualms about where to eat ,who is the superior race,who should get aid and etc and people lived happily side by side.During the festivals neighbours would send goodies over to the neighbour's house and they in turn would happily eat such goodies.Today,are the goodies sent over halal or not? Should we accept or not?
Pre merdeka days people would eat anywhere.The Malays too would not hesitate to go to a Chinese restaurant as long as no pork is served and they would now and then join their friends for a glass of beer..no big deal.
After more than 50 years of Merdeka we have so many types of schools geared to divide the people instead of uniting them.Can you imagine in Agama Schools there are no English books in the library?Who turn out to be the losers in such schools?When politicians determine the direction of the education system this is what happens!
Indeed, on looking at things from so many perspectives one can help but feel that socially and morally we have actually gone backwards despite the fact that more than 50 years have elapsed since we became independent!!!
When I was a kid we went to only two types of schools ,the govt.schools or the mission schools.Chinese,Indians .Malays and other races kids studied together.The medium of instruction was English and the teachers were all so proficient in the language.We ate together,played together and studied together.The teachers being teachers by choice were dedicated and knowledgeable and under such circumstances the students who were their products were also good.
No qualms about where to eat ,who is the superior race,who should get aid and etc and people lived happily side by side.During the festivals neighbours would send goodies over to the neighbour's house and they in turn would happily eat such goodies.Today,are the goodies sent over halal or not? Should we accept or not?
Pre merdeka days people would eat anywhere.The Malays too would not hesitate to go to a Chinese restaurant as long as no pork is served and they would now and then join their friends for a glass of beer..no big deal.
After more than 50 years of Merdeka we have so many types of schools geared to divide the people instead of uniting them.Can you imagine in Agama Schools there are no English books in the library?Who turn out to be the losers in such schools?When politicians determine the direction of the education system this is what happens!
Indeed, on looking at things from so many perspectives one can help but feel that socially and morally we have actually gone backwards despite the fact that more than 50 years have elapsed since we became independent!!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Food and health
Over the years I have discovered that supplements are essential to a healthy life.The food which we take today do not contain enough nutrients so we need to add some multi vites,vitamins e,c and fish oil keeps you healthy.Also many books on herbal supplements are available in the market.Of the lot I find vitamins e and c really useful to keep the cough and cold at bay.Whenever you feel a cold coming on take at least 2000 mg of vitamin c before you sleep and you will definitely feel a lot better the next day,head much clearer and nose unblocked.
Of course late nights and heavy meals after 9 are to be totally avoided and alcohol is a strict no no!.
Living proof? At 70 I can still play golf (Thank God)3 or 4 times a week and recover after a good night's sleep!
Of course late nights and heavy meals after 9 are to be totally avoided and alcohol is a strict no no!.
Living proof? At 70 I can still play golf (Thank God)3 or 4 times a week and recover after a good night's sleep!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Milestones 2
In the early 50s and 60s there were no big shopping malls where people can 'lepak' and just enjoy the cool environment.Shopping was done in the shops which lined up the roads of a town eg in Ipoh it was Hugh Low Street where you have a lot of little shops on both sides of the roads.It was quite fun walking from one shop to another.
Festivals were times when neighbours would bring the festive cakes to your house so that you can also share in the festivities.A quaint custom which unfortunately seems to be dying off nowadays.
One common form of entertainment was the picnic when families would bring some food and eat by the riverside or seaside after having a swim there.Children were very outdoor orientated and would spend a lot of time in the garden or playing fields,unlike today when most of them would be glued to the TV or computer>Those days if you meet a teacher in town you would probably hide as teachers were mostly feared and highly respected .Not so today!!
Communication then was by letter ,beautifully handwritten and in good English.Today you have the e mail and sms written in horrendous English.A step forward or backwards?
Family discipline was strong where children were taught never to argue with the elders and where certain house rules applied like you never start dinner before the head of the family does so or left any unfinished portion of food on your plate.
There is a lot to be said for the good old days but man progresses and along the way we lose track of some of the important things in life !!!!
Festivals were times when neighbours would bring the festive cakes to your house so that you can also share in the festivities.A quaint custom which unfortunately seems to be dying off nowadays.
One common form of entertainment was the picnic when families would bring some food and eat by the riverside or seaside after having a swim there.Children were very outdoor orientated and would spend a lot of time in the garden or playing fields,unlike today when most of them would be glued to the TV or computer>Those days if you meet a teacher in town you would probably hide as teachers were mostly feared and highly respected .Not so today!!
Communication then was by letter ,beautifully handwritten and in good English.Today you have the e mail and sms written in horrendous English.A step forward or backwards?
Family discipline was strong where children were taught never to argue with the elders and where certain house rules applied like you never start dinner before the head of the family does so or left any unfinished portion of food on your plate.
There is a lot to be said for the good old days but man progresses and along the way we lose track of some of the important things in life !!!!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Milestones
Being one person born before Merdeka one cant help but note the changes which had happened since then.Take quality of life for instance..a lot of changes since then.Those days there were no coffee houses where one could get western food.I remember about the first one to open in Ipoh was the ABJ coffee house near the Lido Cinema and it was popular because it was air cond and one could eat in a quiet and nice environment.
Entertainment was confined mainly to the cinema and black and white TV and only local channel and only TV 1 at that.Yet people were quite satisfied because you did not miss what was not there.
Golf was played with wooden drivers and wooden fairway woods and all irons came with steel shafts.The balls were Dunlop 65 a much smaller one than what we have today.No buggies as golf was strictly a walking game as it should be.Today technology has made the game so much more fascinating.
Traveling by car was through the trunk roads and I recall a drive from Ipoh to KL would take around 4 hours at least and the driver had to be very alert especially overtaking another vehicle.No highways ,no tolls and the freedom to stop for a cup of coffee or something to eat along the many small towns along the way.But it was fun and kinda relaxing to travel that way.
Yes,since the day I was born till today we have lived through many changes in our quality of life and beyond a doubt in terms of amenities and lifestyle we are so much better off today but the lingering question...have people become better people ?
Entertainment was confined mainly to the cinema and black and white TV and only local channel and only TV 1 at that.Yet people were quite satisfied because you did not miss what was not there.
Golf was played with wooden drivers and wooden fairway woods and all irons came with steel shafts.The balls were Dunlop 65 a much smaller one than what we have today.No buggies as golf was strictly a walking game as it should be.Today technology has made the game so much more fascinating.
Traveling by car was through the trunk roads and I recall a drive from Ipoh to KL would take around 4 hours at least and the driver had to be very alert especially overtaking another vehicle.No highways ,no tolls and the freedom to stop for a cup of coffee or something to eat along the many small towns along the way.But it was fun and kinda relaxing to travel that way.
Yes,since the day I was born till today we have lived through many changes in our quality of life and beyond a doubt in terms of amenities and lifestyle we are so much better off today but the lingering question...have people become better people ?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Common courtesies
People tend to take so many things for granted that they forget the little courtesies in life,one of which is punctuality.to make others wait for you is downright rude and ill mannered.We teachers have always lived by punctuality because we are the ones who are entrusted to teach values to our students and as teachers to be late for class is unforgivable because you keep the whole class of more than 40 students waiting for you and if you are late you cant possibly complete your day's lesson in time.
Being late for your appointments simply means you cant be bothered by the fact that you keep someone waiting and it also shows that you have no sense of responsibility and definitely uncaring .
Asking for permission or someone's approval before you do something is also something many people forget and it irks the other party for sure.Why is it so difficult to do such little things?
We claim to be high tech modern people but if we forget the basics of life what are we becoming?There is a lot to be said for the old days when children were taught good manners, politeness and to be caring towards others.What is happening now?
Being late for your appointments simply means you cant be bothered by the fact that you keep someone waiting and it also shows that you have no sense of responsibility and definitely uncaring .
Asking for permission or someone's approval before you do something is also something many people forget and it irks the other party for sure.Why is it so difficult to do such little things?
We claim to be high tech modern people but if we forget the basics of life what are we becoming?There is a lot to be said for the old days when children were taught good manners, politeness and to be caring towards others.What is happening now?
Sunday, July 11, 2010
To stop or not to stop?
When should one really stop working and why does one continue to work? I think the answer is as long as one can work and more importantly is wanted one should continue to do what makes him feel comfortable.Of course there are many reasons to work ,one of which is financial.Its good to be financially independent and to be able to feel that you are still able to contribute one way or other.Its a nice feeling waking up every day knowing that you have a schedule ahead for the day as compared with waking up and not knowing what to do.
But sometimes your body sends you signals.....you become forgetful and the body feels tired and work which you enjoyed doing before becomes chores.Do you ignore such signals or balance them against the reasons for working?Someone said "you should not overstay" but looking at some of the senior people still in office one tends to be inspired.I have always subscribed to the belief that if others can do it so can I.It would be nice sitting at home not really doing anything but then what? Someone said some are destined to die on the job and maybe I could be one of them because at the end of the day I cant imagine a life of senility and sitting waiting to be called!
But sometimes your body sends you signals.....you become forgetful and the body feels tired and work which you enjoyed doing before becomes chores.Do you ignore such signals or balance them against the reasons for working?Someone said "you should not overstay" but looking at some of the senior people still in office one tends to be inspired.I have always subscribed to the belief that if others can do it so can I.It would be nice sitting at home not really doing anything but then what? Someone said some are destined to die on the job and maybe I could be one of them because at the end of the day I cant imagine a life of senility and sitting waiting to be called!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
World Cup Fever
Now that the World Cup mania is coming to an end maybe its time to take stock of its effects>How many people lost precious sleep? The long term effects of the nightly matches? Not to mention those who lost their hard earned money? It makes me wonder why people can get overcarried away by the games.Football after all is a sports but people choose to turn it into something else with dire consequences.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Indispensable
I have always told my staff that no one is indispensable.This week I realise that this is not altogether true.Mum had to go to Singapore for one week and the Ara family was thrown into shambles!Poor Aaron had to get ready early to go over to the other garndparents' house,his mum and dad had to adjust their schedules and Aaron had to adjust to his new environment.In the process he missed his half boiled egg,fish,vitamins and whatever goodies grandma gave him.On top of that he missed his walks in the evening and his morning bicycle rides.More importantly his sleep time ,tv time were all upside down.
For the adults we missed our home cooked dinners and the family chats after the dinner.For me eating out is no issue,can eat anything but poor Book missed all his healthy dinners like his steamed fish,vegetables and soup which mum would always make sure are there for him.
Yes ,there is somebody who is indispensable and that is mum!I'm sure the Ang family will enjoy her presence in Spore,so people tell her how much we appreciate her and how indispensable she is.She deserves it!And more importantly show how much she is being appreciated.!
For the adults we missed our home cooked dinners and the family chats after the dinner.For me eating out is no issue,can eat anything but poor Book missed all his healthy dinners like his steamed fish,vegetables and soup which mum would always make sure are there for him.
Yes ,there is somebody who is indispensable and that is mum!I'm sure the Ang family will enjoy her presence in Spore,so people tell her how much we appreciate her and how indispensable she is.She deserves it!And more importantly show how much she is being appreciated.!
Monday, June 28, 2010
My lucky day
Sunday had a golf game with a few good friends at Lembah Beringin golf course.It was a beautiful day and we were all enjoying the game until the 6th hole a par 5.Richard Leong my good friend was behind me and I was actually beside a small tree when he hit his second shot.Bang! Something hit me on my right thigh and woo suddenly excruciating pain and the next thing I was lying on the ground suddenly realising I was hit by Richard's ball.
The friends came rushing over and I grinned at them and thought "Lucky Richard is not such a sharpshooter.The ball could have hit a bony part of a few inches higher I would be a eunuch!As it turned out he hit the fleshy part of the thigh and I was none the worse after a few minutes and the heck of it all continued playing.
Lessons learnt:
1.Never stand in front of somebody when he hits the ball.He can go anywhere but straight.
2.Wait for your turn to hit the ball.That's what golf etiquette is all about.
3.Do not be impatient when you play golf,its supposed to be your day off and you cant enjoy a round of golf if you are in a hurry.
The effects:
1.Richard felt real bad and called me up on Monday to offer to buy lunch but I told him it was just an accident and to forget about it.
2.I have a big blueblack mark on my thigh and I reckon it will be some time before it goes off and the pain is still there.
3.Mind can control matter,though in pain I finished the rest of the 18 holes because we had paid for the game and I did not want my friends to miss their Sunday golf.
The friends came rushing over and I grinned at them and thought "Lucky Richard is not such a sharpshooter.The ball could have hit a bony part of a few inches higher I would be a eunuch!As it turned out he hit the fleshy part of the thigh and I was none the worse after a few minutes and the heck of it all continued playing.
Lessons learnt:
1.Never stand in front of somebody when he hits the ball.He can go anywhere but straight.
2.Wait for your turn to hit the ball.That's what golf etiquette is all about.
3.Do not be impatient when you play golf,its supposed to be your day off and you cant enjoy a round of golf if you are in a hurry.
The effects:
1.Richard felt real bad and called me up on Monday to offer to buy lunch but I told him it was just an accident and to forget about it.
2.I have a big blueblack mark on my thigh and I reckon it will be some time before it goes off and the pain is still there.
3.Mind can control matter,though in pain I finished the rest of the 18 holes because we had paid for the game and I did not want my friends to miss their Sunday golf.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Life's blessings
Very often we bemoan the fact that we lack a lot of things and also the little problems that are bound to crop up in our daily lives.This kind of attitude will for sure make one unhappy or stressed.Why not look at the bright side of things of which there are so many?
Thank God that you have good health and be grateful that we have our loved ones with us or by our side.Look at the orphans ,the discarded old people in the old folks home sitting there with blank looks on their faces asking themselves how come their children have the hearts or none to put them there?Look at the vagrants sleeping by the roadside with no roof over their head,look at the millions of people starving without the basic necessities of life,look at those who share one little fish or meat or none at all with so many family members,look at the people who live in darkness and have never been to places which we are bored to go,look at those who cannot see,cannot walk,cannot talk or hear ,cannot walk ,have no hands or legs and you will then begin to appreciate the fact that you are so fortunate and that we take a lot of things for granted.
Think positive,always look at the bright side of things,look at the good side of people,value the things or the people who are with you and you will find that you yourself become a happier person and life becomes a little bit more beautiful!
Thank God that you have good health and be grateful that we have our loved ones with us or by our side.Look at the orphans ,the discarded old people in the old folks home sitting there with blank looks on their faces asking themselves how come their children have the hearts or none to put them there?Look at the vagrants sleeping by the roadside with no roof over their head,look at the millions of people starving without the basic necessities of life,look at those who share one little fish or meat or none at all with so many family members,look at the people who live in darkness and have never been to places which we are bored to go,look at those who cannot see,cannot walk,cannot talk or hear ,cannot walk ,have no hands or legs and you will then begin to appreciate the fact that you are so fortunate and that we take a lot of things for granted.
Think positive,always look at the bright side of things,look at the good side of people,value the things or the people who are with you and you will find that you yourself become a happier person and life becomes a little bit more beautiful!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The simple things in life
So often we get caught up in the daily hassle of making a living we forget the simple things in life.When was the last time you stopped to look at the beauty of nature?The trees,the flowers,the sound of birds and the beautiful sight of birds in flight,(I love the smell of freshly cut grass when I play golf).Feel the refreshing water when you take a shower and feel how good it makes you feel after that.
A simple meal with people whom you love and care for is so tasty and fulfilling,looking at little children play and their squeals of delight,the innocence of their faces are joyful things to experience.
Ever enjoyed the cool breeze at night outside the house or just take a little walk in the cool night air?Ever looked at the plants you water and see them come alive?
Indeed we have become so materialistic that we forget that there are simple things in life which do not need money to buy but which can nevertheless give us so much .Now and then we need to remind ourselves that there is more to life than the mad chase for materialistic satisfaction.
People go round the world only to realise that the best place in the world is your own home.Dont we ever get the feeling when we travel that we want to come home?And we miss our home however simple it may be?Why so ?Simple ...our house is also our home with all the people whom we care for there.Imagine staying in the most posh mansion with you as the only occupant!A super house but an empty home .I would prefer a small little shack but with all whom I love rather than a big posh mansion with no one.
Look at the people in the kampongs,how they live.They are poor relatively but happy.That makes the difference.
Go back to a simple life,revert back to age old values which our parents taught us and we will find perhaps a little bit more meaning in our lives,feel better and look at things and people around us in different perspectives.
A simple meal with people whom you love and care for is so tasty and fulfilling,looking at little children play and their squeals of delight,the innocence of their faces are joyful things to experience.
Ever enjoyed the cool breeze at night outside the house or just take a little walk in the cool night air?Ever looked at the plants you water and see them come alive?
Indeed we have become so materialistic that we forget that there are simple things in life which do not need money to buy but which can nevertheless give us so much .Now and then we need to remind ourselves that there is more to life than the mad chase for materialistic satisfaction.
People go round the world only to realise that the best place in the world is your own home.Dont we ever get the feeling when we travel that we want to come home?And we miss our home however simple it may be?Why so ?Simple ...our house is also our home with all the people whom we care for there.Imagine staying in the most posh mansion with you as the only occupant!A super house but an empty home .I would prefer a small little shack but with all whom I love rather than a big posh mansion with no one.
Look at the people in the kampongs,how they live.They are poor relatively but happy.That makes the difference.
Go back to a simple life,revert back to age old values which our parents taught us and we will find perhaps a little bit more meaning in our lives,feel better and look at things and people around us in different perspectives.
Monday, June 21, 2010
The art of listening
How many of us know how to listen?Most people like to talk and maybe know how to talk but few know how to listen.The ears are like a receiver disc ,they take in whatever sound coming from anywhere and through understanding of language the sounds go to the brain for interpretation and through this process comes understanding of what the sounds mean.
To be a good listener you have to focus on what the other person is trying to tell you and to do this you must listen.After this you have to analyze what is being said and think about it and accept it if it makes sense.But if you dont even know how to LISTEN in the first instance how do you get the message and how do you learn through listening?
I have come across people whom you feel are not with you whenever you talk to them.Its because they dont give you the impression that they are even listening to you.How so?When you talk to them they dont look at you or are fidgetting with something or their eyes are not looking at you.These are the people who are not listening and people who dont listen are the worst people to talk to.
So if you want to be a good listener learn how to look at the speaker,stop whatever you are doing and focus,then you can think about what he is trying to tell you ,digest it and in the process you will learn a lot of things.People will not waste time talking to you if they feel you dont LISTEN!!!!
To be a good listener you have to focus on what the other person is trying to tell you and to do this you must listen.After this you have to analyze what is being said and think about it and accept it if it makes sense.But if you dont even know how to LISTEN in the first instance how do you get the message and how do you learn through listening?
I have come across people whom you feel are not with you whenever you talk to them.Its because they dont give you the impression that they are even listening to you.How so?When you talk to them they dont look at you or are fidgetting with something or their eyes are not looking at you.These are the people who are not listening and people who dont listen are the worst people to talk to.
So if you want to be a good listener learn how to look at the speaker,stop whatever you are doing and focus,then you can think about what he is trying to tell you ,digest it and in the process you will learn a lot of things.People will not waste time talking to you if they feel you dont LISTEN!!!!
Friday, June 18, 2010
health and wealth
How many of us take good health for granted?Good health like wealth is an accumulation of various things over the years.What Things?
1.Exercise..a fit body is a healthy body.
2.Food.Eating the right kind of food and always in moderation are the right principles to always keep in mind.
3.Rest and sleep.The old maxim "Early to bed early to rise" makes a lot of sense and more so when we practise it.
4.Water.Make sure we drink a lot of water as its the best detox and flushes out the unwanted waste from our system.
5.Fruits .Brocolli,carrots,apples, oranges,bananas,tomatoes...you never go wrong with these.
6.Daily supplements.A must.For me for years I have never failed to take my Pharmaton,E,C and now fish oil.Our body needs the extra nutrients to cope with today's hectic lifestyle.
7.Mental relaxation. Give yourself a few minutes everyday when you just sit or lie down and let the mind go completely blank.See how refreshed you are after this little break!.
And at the end of the day take time to do your regular medical check up.
1.Exercise..a fit body is a healthy body.
2.Food.Eating the right kind of food and always in moderation are the right principles to always keep in mind.
3.Rest and sleep.The old maxim "Early to bed early to rise" makes a lot of sense and more so when we practise it.
4.Water.Make sure we drink a lot of water as its the best detox and flushes out the unwanted waste from our system.
5.Fruits .Brocolli,carrots,apples, oranges,bananas,tomatoes...you never go wrong with these.
6.Daily supplements.A must.For me for years I have never failed to take my Pharmaton,E,C and now fish oil.Our body needs the extra nutrients to cope with today's hectic lifestyle.
7.Mental relaxation. Give yourself a few minutes everyday when you just sit or lie down and let the mind go completely blank.See how refreshed you are after this little break!.
And at the end of the day take time to do your regular medical check up.
Crazy golfers
Thursday three of my golf kakis from Ipoh decided to come down and whack the old man.We fixed the venue at Tasik Putri Golf course near Rawang .It was a long drive from Ipoh but the thought of slaughtering me was enough motivation.
We teed off at 9 am .The weather was beautiful ,cloudy and cool.The tee boxes were dragged far behind and it was terribly long from tee box to green.My friends were delighted as they all hit further than me a fact which I have grown to accept but I told myself " play your own game ,go for the bogeys and they have to play par to beat you"
Thus mentally strengthened I played and played and through 18 holes ended up a small winner.I thought after 18 holes that was the end of the day but NO......One of them said "I cannot stand the thought of having lost to an old man!Cant drive back man!"
So he suggested we one more round at Lembah Beringin about 1/2 hour drive away.That decided we drove there and managed to get a flight.When we arrived at the first tee imagine my delight when the tee boxes were in front and the course was dry.My advantage cos their length was not much an advantage now.We had a close fight until the last hole where everything was to be decided and lo and behold I played a BIRDIE on that hole.You should see their faces.....To me it was the joy of beating the younger people and on the 27th hole.That money cannot buy!
Lessons learnt:
1.As a friend you always follow the crowd to a reasonable extent.Any old man would say no to one more round of golf but seeing they came from so far I had to make them happy.
2.Never say die even though the odds are against you.Your mental strength in the things you do will carry you to unreachable and unimaginable heights.Life is full of set backs but what distinguishes the man from the mouse is how the man faces setbacks and overcomes them.
3.When you play anything dont be afraid of losing.I always congratulate my friends when they beat me'You played well ,I did not so you deserve to win".Words like this go a long way in making people happy!
We teed off at 9 am .The weather was beautiful ,cloudy and cool.The tee boxes were dragged far behind and it was terribly long from tee box to green.My friends were delighted as they all hit further than me a fact which I have grown to accept but I told myself " play your own game ,go for the bogeys and they have to play par to beat you"
Thus mentally strengthened I played and played and through 18 holes ended up a small winner.I thought after 18 holes that was the end of the day but NO......One of them said "I cannot stand the thought of having lost to an old man!Cant drive back man!"
So he suggested we one more round at Lembah Beringin about 1/2 hour drive away.That decided we drove there and managed to get a flight.When we arrived at the first tee imagine my delight when the tee boxes were in front and the course was dry.My advantage cos their length was not much an advantage now.We had a close fight until the last hole where everything was to be decided and lo and behold I played a BIRDIE on that hole.You should see their faces.....To me it was the joy of beating the younger people and on the 27th hole.That money cannot buy!
Lessons learnt:
1.As a friend you always follow the crowd to a reasonable extent.Any old man would say no to one more round of golf but seeing they came from so far I had to make them happy.
2.Never say die even though the odds are against you.Your mental strength in the things you do will carry you to unreachable and unimaginable heights.Life is full of set backs but what distinguishes the man from the mouse is how the man faces setbacks and overcomes them.
3.When you play anything dont be afraid of losing.I always congratulate my friends when they beat me'You played well ,I did not so you deserve to win".Words like this go a long way in making people happy!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Games children play
Was at the playground with Aaron yesterday and whilst he was scrambling all over made some interesting observations:
1.Children today play with all artificial gadgets.The swings are there ,slides and playing fields are there.
2.There was hardly any kid who was not closely watched either by nannies or parents or grandparents.
3.All of them who had toys which were bought from toy shops.
4.They all had their routines eg whenever AAron gets there he would make a run towards his friends and then pick out one or two of his pet games like chasing after birds(real ones) and then up and down the slides and then run around again.
What a far cry from the time when we were children.We used branches cut from trees as our guns.We made and flew our own kites and kite fighting was practised .Turning the strings used to fly the kites into cutting machines was a skilled job and you need to used bulbs crushed and mixed with what we called "cow hide gum" and then coated on to the string so that it became coated with sharp glass wo you have a kite cutting string.Any kite that was cut would be picked up and whoever gets it becomes the owner.
We made our own tops and the top choice of wood to make your tops were the branches from the Jambu or Lime tree as these were the toughest wood.Wonder how many of today's kids know this?The top game was to knock your opponent's top out of the ring and in the process you can smash it if you know how to whack it from the top!Top spinning is or has become a lost art!
Catapaults or "lastics " as we called them were made from tree branches appropriately shaped.We had to locate the trees and the branches and climbed the trees to get the branches.Cant imagine our modern kids doing this.
Bottom line you cant help but notice the big difference between today's children and that of our generation.We never saw doctors ,never had hot water showers,ate whatever was on the table,got whacked with whatever was in hand when we were naughty ,never knew what an air cond room was like ,never rode in air con cars or even cars.I remember the first time my dad took me out on a bus and he said we were going to "makan angin" and the first thing I did when I got up the bus was to open my mouth >My dad asked me what I was doing and I innocently answered "Makan angin ma!"
That's how naive we were !
Yes indeed times have changed so much!But its my belief that the older generation is much tougher because we were not pampered and we were brought up the tough way.
1.Children today play with all artificial gadgets.The swings are there ,slides and playing fields are there.
2.There was hardly any kid who was not closely watched either by nannies or parents or grandparents.
3.All of them who had toys which were bought from toy shops.
4.They all had their routines eg whenever AAron gets there he would make a run towards his friends and then pick out one or two of his pet games like chasing after birds(real ones) and then up and down the slides and then run around again.
What a far cry from the time when we were children.We used branches cut from trees as our guns.We made and flew our own kites and kite fighting was practised .Turning the strings used to fly the kites into cutting machines was a skilled job and you need to used bulbs crushed and mixed with what we called "cow hide gum" and then coated on to the string so that it became coated with sharp glass wo you have a kite cutting string.Any kite that was cut would be picked up and whoever gets it becomes the owner.
We made our own tops and the top choice of wood to make your tops were the branches from the Jambu or Lime tree as these were the toughest wood.Wonder how many of today's kids know this?The top game was to knock your opponent's top out of the ring and in the process you can smash it if you know how to whack it from the top!Top spinning is or has become a lost art!
Catapaults or "lastics " as we called them were made from tree branches appropriately shaped.We had to locate the trees and the branches and climbed the trees to get the branches.Cant imagine our modern kids doing this.
Bottom line you cant help but notice the big difference between today's children and that of our generation.We never saw doctors ,never had hot water showers,ate whatever was on the table,got whacked with whatever was in hand when we were naughty ,never knew what an air cond room was like ,never rode in air con cars or even cars.I remember the first time my dad took me out on a bus and he said we were going to "makan angin" and the first thing I did when I got up the bus was to open my mouth >My dad asked me what I was doing and I innocently answered "Makan angin ma!"
That's how naive we were !
Yes indeed times have changed so much!But its my belief that the older generation is much tougher because we were not pampered and we were brought up the tough way.
Monday, June 14, 2010
On to blogging
As part of my self development programme I am now on to blogging.It seems like a fun way to express your thoughts on so many things and more importantly to be able to share with your family and friends your thoughts and views.
Of course things have to be organized and planned so that one's blogs does not indicate the ramblings of someone senile or nyayuk!
Watch out for more ..........
Of course things have to be organized and planned so that one's blogs does not indicate the ramblings of someone senile or nyayuk!
Watch out for more ..........
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