Monday, April 25, 2016

Challenging the norms

When you hit the seventies you should be taking things easy , relaxing with your other half . children and grandchildren.Last week on Friday afternoon I drove down to Teluk Intan , attended a dinner .The next morning we woke up early , went to the market and after that visited a friend .Then it was off to Ipoh where I met up with some buddies at the golf club.The next day it was a long drive back to KL and the following Monday it was work as usual.
For someone in the seventies to go through such a schedule is to say the least " unusual ".I enjoy driving on the highway and at this age I seldom stop for what they call "rest and refresh ".It is too much of a hassle to stop halfway as it spoils your rhythm so I would rather just drive until we reach home.But mum will always insist that we stop at least for  a toilet break.
Driving home ourselves is a norm as the children have no time nor inclination to go along with us.So we learn to be independent and depend only on ourselves.Besides this I work almost every day. Most of my friends raise their eyebrows when I say I am still working. I suppose in their minds they must be thinking " Do you need to work at this age?".The answer is "Yes " but its not so much for the money but rather to keep going , be active and not feel hopeless.I love challenges and at this age everything you do is a challenge.
Golf is my passion and i make it a point at least to spend two days a week in the driving range and believe it or not this has actually improved my game and fitness level.Who says you cant improve at a senior age ? Besides golf there are other challenges .Work is a challenge when you have to deal with turkeys and handling students requires a lot of skill and human relationship skills. I make it a point that any student who sees me has his problem resolved and he leaves the room satisfied,That is the challenge of managing people which I relish.
If you do not face challenges and resolve issues then your life becomes mundane and you are just waiting for your time .I believe that instead of waiting for that to happen make good use of the time that you have so that life is meaningful.
I leave office early so that I can spend a couple of hours with the grandchildren.I enjoy seeing them grow up and more so enjoy their acts of mischief which never fail to amaze and humor me. Watching the little ones grow up is one of the most precious gifts a person can have and enjoying it makes it so much more meaningful.
Life is a challenge and will continue to be so as long as we have the right attitude and inclination .I believe that at this age there are many things which the younger people do which we also can do.The thing is to tell yourself "Why not ?'

My students

Friday 22nd April ..students whom I taught in 1973 had a gathering in Teluk Intan.I was invited and of course I went as it would be nice to see them all again again after so many years.It was a dinner at one of the local restaurants and it was a nostalgic night with the boys ( now men ) sharing stories about their younger days and of course they talked about their teachers.I am glad they had good things to say about me , how I taught and guided them .It is a good feeling to know that the students whom you taught have good memories of you.What really touched me was that many of them mentioned that if not for the teachers they would not be what they are today and most of them acknowledged that we were strict with them for good reasons.They might have not seen this before  but now they realize it .
The night was fun filled and many of them got drunk.One guy was so pissed that they got an ambulance to send him to the hotel and they attendants had to carry him up to his room in a stretcher .This is probably the first time that an ambulance had to be called to send a drunken guy back to his hotel.It could happen only in Teluk Intan and where an old boy was in charge of the St.John Ambulance .We all had a good laugh and the night was really fun.
To us teachers it was a good thing to meet up with our students and to see that they have matured and become useful people in society and what really amazed me that they were able to keep their ties all this while.Their bond is so great that they came from all over the world to meet up with each other.I complimented them on this and told them they should continue to see each other in future and have more of this type of gatherings.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Bringing up children.

This morning while I was showering my little hero pushed open the bathroom room and laughed merrily seeing me in that state.I was just as amused at his little prank and laughed inwardly.A few minutes later after I told him to wait for me in the room . I saw my carefully folded blanket strewn all over the place and then he took my water bottle and threw it down the stairs>If I were STUPID and uncontrolled I would have screamed and yelled at him but I think I am a bit more dignified  and more sensible to do such a ridiculous thing especially understanding children and their mischievous acts.
We have to understand that children are not ROBOTS who can think and do things like adults and we have to understand them.You cannot expect a child to think like you ( if at all you can think ) and judge him according to your norms.Children will always be children and we adults have to to a certain extent put up with their pranks.Whilst disciplining the kid may be necessary a sensible person will know that there are many ways of doing so without having to behave like an idiot yelling and shouting at the poor kid.By so doing , you are merely belittling yourself and you prove nothing.To me when I see such things my opinion of the person takes a nose dive and I find it difficult to have any bit of respect for him .
We have to think that bringing up a child in a culture of shouting and yelling is definitely not the way>only people who are unable to control a situation resort to this .People with some knowledge and understanding and maybe of some standing will figure out and accept the fact that shouting gets us nowhere.There are always alternatives to getting a message across.What makes it more annoying is that despite being told that shouting is not the way they continue to do so.I have taught many students before and never did I have to shout and yell at them.A little look , a little raised voice are enough for them to listen to what I had to say.
I fail to understand how an old lady who has to spend practically the whole day with a kid never lost her cool despite the mischievous pranks of the little fella.She has to take care of him besides doing all the household chores .Try it and see how much strength and energy you need to handle all this .I cannot imagine how a person having come home barely 10 minutes can start yelling and shouting at a little kid.The only conclusion I can make is that this person simply has not got what it takes to be somebody. Probably he is letting out his frustrations and covering his own inadequacies by taking it out on the poor child who may be startled and frightened with serious long term effects on his personality and psychological well being.All said and done we cannot expect people with little substance to think this far.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Mothers

They say there is no person in the world more special than your mother .I could not agree more as we have right in our midst that very special person.She is the mother of all mothers .her family always  comes first and there is nothing in the world that she would not do for her family.
At an age when most people should be taking it easy , she cooks , cleans , washes , baby sit and makes sure that all the other housework are done.It takes superhuman efforts to carry out all these tasks which are done without a whimper of dissent or grumble. She endures all the difficulties without any complain ( you have to try doing all these chores to know what its like  ).All these are done willingly and happily without expecting anything in return. Yet, sometimes we fail to realize that the human body has its limitations.Hands grow weary . shoulders ache and legs become tired. It would be nice that we know this and do the necessary to help. I make sure that each week she has her regular massage as it helps rejuvenate the tired bones and gives her two hours of complete relaxation which is what she so much deserves.
People around her need to be supportive and understanding knowing that she has to go through all these .Sometimes if you cant be of help , at least you should be a liability.She has often said that people should try to lead a normal life , like go to work on time, help out a little bit by not getting in the way and coming to help when she needs help.She has always mentioned that she has two families to look after and the least we can do is to ensure that she is given the time to do it.Coming home a bit early so she has time to go out is surely not asking for too much .A little consideration goes a long way .
We all know that she has to prepare dinner for the family .The ingredients are all bought be her in her weekly trips to the market.I have accompanied her on several occasions and know what marketing involves.Its not just a matter of buying the things for the week , its knowing what you want to buy in advance so that you need not waste any time..We fail to realize how expensive marketing can be unless we  are there.I know that it will require at least RM 300 to RM 400 a week to get the foodstuffs for the week.Not only this you have to carry the things that you buy .I just wonder why some of the younger people never bother to help out.Sure its tough but is the toughness only for you ? Somebody has to do it and why only one person ?
There is no denying the lengths a mother will go for the sake of her children .No sacrifice is too great , no chore is too difficult and you may also say no mountain is high enough for her to climb. It is important to realize that whilst the mother does not ask for anything in return we should at least make things easier for her by being appreciative  and just as considerate.