Thursday, June 30, 2011

Striking a balance

"What is this life if full of care ,we have no time to stand and stare....." This is a little reminder that in life we must always strike a balance.Balance what as against what?.We all have to work for a living as like it or not you cannot survive unless you have money to get you all the basic things like food,lodging,clothes etc.But in the pursuit for work excellence we must not forget to strike a balance between our own psychological ,physical and mental capacities and our work demands.We can only do so much and if you work until you become a robot then you have to think whether that kind of work is for you.There are people who come home mentally,physically and psychologically exhausted that they are just a shell to the people at home.They snap at anything and are short fused and the poor family members become the victims.
I have been a teacher and teachers are fortunate as we work half a day teaching and a couple of hours in enrichment activities for the students.Thus between teaching and the other related activities we have time to relax and pursue our own hobbies.This makes us better persons emotionally , physically and mentally.Thus we balance our working life with our home life and the balance makes for better living for all family members.
We see so many young people rushing through life to the extent that they forget the simple things which make life worth living.Spending time with your children,eating a relaxing and homely meal together,spending a bit of time on your hobbies ,just sitting down together watching a TV show together >simple yet meaningful .In some families the young people come back just in time for dinner and have no time even to shower before they eat.Why cant they be back earlier so that they have a bit of time to relax, spend a bit of time with the children ,shower and then sit down for a relaxing dinner?I have always believed in time management and through my own working experience its important to work fast but smart and this has never been at the expense of quality work.For sure there will be times when you have to work extra long thus upsetting your routine but surely this is not a daily affair? In most instances the work we do is quite routine after some time and you will have the means to program and plan your work each day.Some people say work is never done so just plan your day and your work according to priorities and you will find that life is much easier.
A survey done in an old folks home asked the senior people what are their main regrets in life.Amongst the most common answer " I never gave myself the time to do the things I really wanted to do".Find time for yourself and do the things which you like to do.Time lost can never be reclaimed hence its important to remember that we have to find the time to do the things that we really want to do and not live like robots doing what other people want of us !

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Principles

I have always believed that the principles which we believe in to a very large extent determine the way we act and make our decisions.People have died for the principles which they believed in.History is full of such examples.
On a more practical basis I have come across some of my younger friends who face unnecessary conflict because they dont abide by some basis principles like the man is the head of the family and any decision involving the family is best made together and discussed soberly and logically and when one party is able to present stronger arguments then the decision follows his or her line of thinking and the "loser" has to be gracious in " defeat".that is how you get decisions by consensus.The simple principle of discuss and agree goes a long way to nurturing successful relationships.
A man for example asks the opinion of the wife before he decides to go for a holiday with his friends.Upon her consent he proceeds to make the arrangements but half way through the wife says 'I dont think you should go" So what is going to happen? How would the guy feel? In the first instance he tries to follow the principle of discuss and agree and after that there is a breach of the agreement.Not only has he to cancel the trip with his friends but also face the fact that talking to his wife is pointless .Hence unnecessary conflict.
Successful relationships depends on discussing matters with each other and coming to an agreement and after that honor that agreement.Another example is when the wife decides to work in another town and telling the husband only after she has made that decision.Where is the respect for the husband? where is the discuss and agree or disagree principle?.What should the man do under such circumstances?
We need always to be guided by the principles which we live by and without such principles we are but people with no character or standards.

Monday, June 13, 2011

'All men are brothers"

You cant take me off the TV from 830 to 930 pm nowadays as I am avidly following a Chinese series "All Men are Brothers".Watching the movie critically and appreciating it makes it so much more meaningful.When you watch classics like this look out for:
1.The story line .
2.The main characters.
3.The settings and the cast.
4.The message the director or producer is trying to get across.
The story line is quite simple ,about a group of rebels trying to get the Emperor's pardon so that they can be absorbed into the govt.and rid it of all the corrupt officials.
The characters are interesting,you have the sage or the man of wisdom who gives valuable advice and plans the strategies for the group.You have the undisciplined fighter who flares up at every little thing ,eats and drinks merrily but who is loyal, brave and a fantastic fighter.
You have the reluctant leader who constantly harps on the objective of the group which is to be help set up a govt.which treats all the people fairly.Here you see how a leader constantly reminds his followers about their mission .(A lesson in corporate management).
The core members of the group are the 108 fighters who are all specialized in the art of fighting.Each one looks and acts his role well enough.
The fighting scenes are fantastic and its only in China that they can get so many people to participate.
What really stands out about this series are the emphasis on values like integrity,honor,courage ,loyalty,truthfulness and dignity.The common flaws of govt. officials are shown clearly , greed ,corruption,scheming and power crazy without really caring for the common people.Reminds me of what is happening in our country today!!! A lot to be learnt from History if we choose to do so.

I enjoy watching the series ,its very traditionally Chinese and an English educated person like me can also appreciate Chinese history and culture.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Mother's love

Whenever our youngest daughter and her hubby say that they are coming for dinner mum gets all excited and early in the morning would start to plan the dinner menu.When its time for them to arrive she would be looking out every other minute for their arrival We were watching TV the other evening and I could see that her focus was not on it as every now and then when a car passes by she would look out and see if it was our daughter and when she finally arrived ( she was late that day) mum got up straight away and went to the kitchen.
To parents its always good to have the children around be it for a meal or just a drop by kinda thing .We would love to have all our children by our side all the time but that's not possible as they have their lives to lead and sometimes sad to say parents are not their priority.One of my friends said " I would be happy if my son gives me a call every now and then".
Children should value their parents while they are still around because for senior people you never know when they are going to leave and we should treasure and value them while we can.Make time for them !

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Life is so fragile

"Man proposes ,God disposes" how true .We were shocked to hear that Mr.Heng Imn's father in law passed away yesterday in UK .He suffered a heart attack and they could just not save him.They went to UK for a holiday and also to visit Jason and Imn.Its so tragic that their holiday should end this way.
This is the second time somebody known to me died so suddenly and unexpectedly.It makes me wonder how frail life is.Your age does not matter,if its your time's out then its time out.
While you are still around make the best use of your life.Stay close to those who are close to you,your family especially and friends.Do what you want to do or do what you can still do .Some people still want to hoard money but dont know how to spend it,not necessarily on yourself but on others .Its good to see money spent buying dinner of gifts for people and in the process make them happy.I have come across people who are seniors and still wanting to make money.This is the greed of man of which there are no boundaries.
Rich as a millionaire but live like a pauper.Somebody once commented when I did not want to eat durians" You dont know know how to enjoy life" and I retorted "There is more to life than eating durians"
While we are around value the people around us,spend quality time with them ,treasure the moments you have together for you never know when you have to leave.