Lessons learned from Ching ming

It is part of Chinese culture and tradition that every year on the first week of April they gather to visit the graves of their ancestors.How they show their respect varies but usually it means offering the ancestors food and other worldly requirements .The graves will normally be cleaned and the offerings made on the day of Ching Ming .Therein lies the beauty of Chinese culture , the day is fixed every year so that the people have time to prepare and ensure that they perform their filial duties.
On the day the descendants gather round the graves of the ancestors, burn joss sticks , burn " money " and other requirements like shoes , clothes , etc.
This is the Chinese way of remembering their ancestors and also their belief that in the afterworld they still need these materialistic things.Ching Ming is not only a day to remember your ancestors but also to remind us of where we came from and where our roots are .
There is also a belief that the men need not go to the in laws graves but the women must follow the men to their ancestors' graves,This seems odd to me as what will happen to those who only have daughters? We have only daughters .Does this mean that my daughters will not visit our graves when we are gone ? Does it mean that our remains will lie somewhere forgotten ? Can we expect our sons in laws to accompany our daughters to remember us ?
This is one of the traditional beliefs which has to be changed. I accompany my wife to visit her parents ' graves every year and I do not see anything wrong with it as I remember my in laws as good people and regard them as my own parents.
There is also the attitude of the so called Christians who refuse to light joss sticks or even partake of the offering which are placed as a token of offering to the ancestors.They say Christians dont light joss sticks or eat things which have been offered to the ancestors.What makes me livid is that some of these so called Christians dont even have the slightest knowledge abut the religion and dont have the brains to differentiate between tradition and religion.
Ching Ming is a Chinese tradition when the descendants gather to remember their ancestors and to make offerings to them .They do not pray to the ancestors but merely remember and honor them .

Chinese New Year

In a few days time we will be celebrating Chinese New Year and its also a time for resolutions for a better year and also resolutions to be a better person. For me there is only one wish and that is to see my family members in good health .We tend to overlook how important health is and this is something which we often take for granted.We must not forget that life is a balance and that in our chase for wealth and fame health must not be overlooked .
I have seen many friends and relatives suffer from health problems and what it does to their family members .Coming to this age there is nothing more to wish for other than to be in good health and if its time to go , to go quickly as I certainly would not want to be a burden to the family and to have to put them through the agony and pain of seeing a loved one suffer.
The New Year is also a time to look back on what happened the previous year and whether we have lived it the way it should. Someone said that your life has meaning only if you can say that you have had some impact on others. For me , looking after so many young people and making sure that they are on the right path is meaningful.It is like leaving some of your footprints in the sand and to be able to influence the lives of young people is something of a privilege .To be able to look back and see our children make their impact in their chosen field , to be able to see our grandchildren grow up are some of life's blessings which should be valued and appreciated.
I came across some lessons in life in a little coffee shop in Ipoh .There was this little banner which the owner displayed in her shop and I asked mum to translate it for me and it goes like this :
1.The biggest fortune you can have is health.
2.The biggest sin you can commit is not to be filial.
3.The biggest mistake you can make is gambling and overconfidence.
4.The most important thing to respect is hard work.
5 The most happy thing is to be able to help others.
Maybe , obvious but nevertheless its food for thought and should be our guiding light in our quest to be a better person in the New Year.

A time to reflect.

As the year draws to an end its always time to do a bit of reflection and to think about the things which happened .I am fortunate that despite all the health scares I am able to still be up and about.They say " Never complain about old age , There are many who do not get to know its meaning ".  how true .. To have come this far is indeed a blessing which has to be appreciated and valued. 2016 was the year when I had my eye operation, my eye problems which came with it , and the time when I had to fight hard to control my glucose level.It was a year of experimenting with all types of natural remedies.
It was a year of enjoying the growth of the grandchildren.To be able to see them go through their various stages of development and to be able to enjoy it is truly a blessing.
Work wise it has been a real challenging year. I had to make sure that we perform for the sake of the young people who have thrown in their lots with me and to work hard to ensure that we would be able to carry on. The economy has not been good and this has affected the enrollment for most private universities .Accommodation Occupancy in most institutions has dropped and in the light of this adversity we had to find reasons for the employers to retain us.
Despite this we were lucky to be appointed as consultants for a new project in Putra Jaya competing with many other established consultants.This is something to look forward to and an opportunity to learn and gain new experiences.
Life has been kind and more than anything I cannot help but feel lucky and fortunate to be able to enjoy this with my family. Mum is healthy and enjoying her life despite all the responsibilities which she has to shoulder.My daughters and sons in law are doing well and the grandchildren are growing up well.What more can be asked?
2017 will be exciting and something to look forward to.