A new awareness..

Last week when we were in Singapore mum and I decided to travel by MRT as it was faster and cheaper.When we entered it was packed as usual but more so with the holiday crowd>We had to stand.Then suddenly a gentleman stood up and offered me his seat.I was quite surprised and told mum to sit instead.Suddenly it dawned on us that the seat was offered to us because we are senior citizens.Wow ! A sudden realization. I have never thought that I'm indeed a senior .I work like the rest of the younger people,lead an active life,playing golf and eating what I want to eat and driving up and down.I'm financially independent and most important enjoy the blessings of good health.Age is actually a number and you are as old as you feel.Being still economically productive I am not like other seniors my age or as we call them young seniors who basically have nothing to do other than to take their morning walks ,yam cha, read their newspapers ,have their naps and then nag nag nag at whosoever comes their way be it wife ,children or grandchildren. I have always loved to challenge existing paradigms that once you are past 60 you have to retire,lead a sedentary life and basically wait to go..At 71 I can still do a good day's work, go to the driving range and hit more than 100 balls and play a couple of decent rounds of golf each week.More importantly I have have my mental capacity with me and can remember things better than some of the younger people.Age is actually a mental state ,you are as old as you think you are and it takes the right mind set to put aside your age factor and live life as you would . However we cannot deny the fact that age is catching up and your body is sending you little signals like the body aches which come with exercise and the subtle changes in your lifestyle.Eating habits for example change,in our younger days we could go for 2 or 3 plates of rice and the spicier the food the better.Today the need for rice is reduced to like a 3/4 plate and not so much spicy food. Attitude and outlook have also changed.We mellow with age and with the combination of age and experience it would take something very serious to upset us.We have acquired the habit of watching things happen and only give our opinion when asked for.It ha s become clear that the children are grown up and are capable of making their own decisions.Old people must learn how to behave as they should , be there for the younger people but do not be imposing or demanding.The younger generation cannot tolerate "interference ". As seniors we must always have a certain code of behaviour which can earn us the respect of the younger people and be aware that respect is earned not demanded and neither is it a right.Gone are the days when parents can tell the younger ones"I'm your parent, you have to listen'.Values and outlooks have changed and so must our thinking. It feels good to have gone through so many years of life and the experiences acquired along the way are indeed priceless and something which we can be grateful for.

A time to reflect

The year is coming to an end and its always the time for us to reflect.We have a lot to be grateful for..the children with their spouses are doing well.Kyra and Aaron are growing up to be intelligent and lively kids. When we look at the members of the family who fall sick we realize how lucky we are to be in good health>My sister has been bed ridden for so long and its painful to see her wasting away and deteriorating by the day.Mum's brother in law is diagnosed with stomach cancer and the outcome is yet unknown.I saw him in Spore and was shocked and upset to see the change in him from the last time I saw him.Sickness is indeed a curse affecting not only the patient but also the family members.I can imagine how they must feel seeing a loved one suffer and being unable to do anything about it. We had a scare when our son in law Alvyn had a growth in his kidney which required surgery.None of us said anything but deep down was the fear that it could be malignant.Thank God it was not and today he is well and about. Our family has been strengthened by all this and mum plays a great role bringing the family together.She would happily cook her best dishes when she knows that Sze and Andrew are coming for dinner .She has always believed that eating together makes the family bond so much stronger.She always believed "Give the children something nice to eat, simple as it may be and they will happily come back".This reminds me of Auntie Tai whom I stayed with in my Varsity days.She had 8 sons and every Sunday they will come to the house and Auntie would cook fantastic lunches which her sons loved.It was a great family get together every Sunday.They would play mahjong, chat and eat and the grandchildren would be running all over.Auntie told me its the one day in the week which she really looked forward to and today I can understand why.Though the kids are grown up we are always happy to have them around.As long as the children continue to want to see us its good enough for mum and me. What is in store for 2012? The exciting part will be our youngest daughter's baby who is due in April .A new life will come into being and another addition to the family.With the coming of bay the cycle is almost complete.We hope to see our third daughter formalize her wedding and then they can get on with their lives.Of course we would wish to have all our children here but life's realities determines that this is not to be so.The children have their own lives to lead and live and at the end of the day what really matters is that they are happy. It looks that we will be in KL for yet another year and actually we have become used to life in Kl though deep down there is a yearning to be back in Ipoh but these are life's little sacrifices which all parents have to make.Besides realistically we are sure the children prefer us around KL as they can easily keep an eye on us here which I reckon is fair enough. Goodbye 2011 ,you have been good to us and welcome 2012 .

Family

We are blessed with 4 girls and 2 grandchildren with one more along the way and with the end of the year and all the festivities approaching it makes us realize how fortunate we are. Bringing up 4 girls at one time was by no means an easy task >You have to make sure you give them the best available,ensure they are safe and secure physically and psychologically and also see to it that they grow up to be stable and well balanced individuals with the right values.More important we wanted to make sure that all of them went through higher education so that they can fend for themselves in future. Today all of them are grown up ,married (hopefully happily) and doing well in their careers.We managed to put all of them through university but it was also credit due to them because they qualified to enter the universities in the first place.All of them went through their studies successfully and they even worked part time to earn something extra as they did not want to overly burden us.This I guess was their way of helping out which actually gave them valuable experience in life .It made them tough ,determined,willing to endure hardship and above all gave them Character which would serve them through their lives. Mum and I can look back with satisfaction and pride that all our girls are what we hoped they would be and we can say "Mission Accomplished".We have never hoped or expected anything in return unlike some parents who would demand that their children pay them back.To us ,taking us out for a meal or eating together with us ,or buying little presents now and then would suffice.anything beyond this is a bonus .The love of parents is boundless and cannot be measured and it makes us happy that what we have given to them has not been in vain.It makes us happy to see our girls grow up close to each other and up till today share a strong sisterly bond.It seems that when they were young the family trips and outings helped to lay the foundation for this bond. The family bond is really something which parents must cultivate and make sure that the members of the family value and appreciate and at times we have to set aside our personal idiosyncrasies for the sake of the family. In our younger days anything that we wanted to buy had to take into account the alternatives ie if I bought this for myself, would it deprive my children of something? And if the children wanted something can I give it to them? Last year we went to Melbourne and initially it was a no no for me because I disliked flying but mum said all the family are going how can you not go? No choice but to endure the flying but at the end of the day it was good to spend time and enjoy things with the family and the trip turned out to be good. Today we are happy to let the children call the shots in terms of planning and decision making and it makes us happy to see that they decide on consensus ,discussion and opinions.This is an indication of their maturity and the outcome of their education and experiences in life which we as parents must learn to respect and accept. Mum and I are quite pleased with ourselves seeing the children grown up and the grandchildren coming on well.What more can we ask for???

Xmas

I remember how we used to spend Xmas when we were young.No fancy shopping malls ,Xmas dinners and carolling and all the merry making that comes with it.My earliest memories of Xmas were Santa Claus and the gifts he brought.Though we were not that well off Dad used to tell us to hang our stockings by the bedside and Santa would bring us a present each.Being gullible we believed in this and dutifully and hopefully hung our stockings before we went to sleep and lo and behold next morning there was a present for each of us in the morning for in the quiet of the night Dad would quietly put a present for us in our stockings. Fairy tale? Dreams? Imagination ? This was part of the magic of Xmas which we shared in our own simple ,magical way and it made us listen open mouthed when Dad told us the story of Santa Claus. Though Xmas is still celebrated today and will be celebrated forever the spirit of Xmas is especially special when you are young and you learn that there is much joy insharing and giving!

2011.

As the year comes to an end its the time for reflections.So many things to be thankful for :
1.Good health.
Most of the children and their spouses are in good health except for a little scare that we had when Alvyn had to go for an operation to remove a growth.Fortunately it was successfully done and a good lesson should be learned from this.Health is important and one must be smart enough to look after oneself.Never take health for granted and stay away from the " It cannot happen to me " syndrome as disease and sickness know no boundaries.When we are well we must ensure that we do the necessary to maintain our health.
I was never one who went to the doctors but today I make sure I have my regular check up and never fail to see the doctor when I feel unwell.Age makes us fragile.
A life of discipline and moderation is never wrong and what is important is that we must never forget that if we are sick it affects not only us but all those around us.
2.Children.
We are happy that our children are doing well in their respective fields of work but more importantly they have the values and character which we so painstakingly planted in them.
Nothing more can be expected except maybe to have all of them here in our country where we can continue to keep aneye on them.Its good to be close to the children and to be able to enjoy meals and outings with them.To parents children will always be children and nothing makes them happier than to be able to continue to look after them.
We are laso blessed with 4 great sons in law who get along well with us.We have always treated them as our own boys but well aware that as in laws we need to have our code of behaviour.Mum always believe that if you love and care for others they will feel the same towards you.We are indeed fortunate in all these years we have had no issues with the boys.
3.Lifestyle.
I would say that we all live a moderate lifestyle, nothing lavish .We work and come home for dinner and on weekends mum will have her off days and off she goes with a fun filled day with her friends.I always try to strike a balance between work ,home and play and will make sure that at least some time is spent with Aaron before dinner and with the rest of the family.As we age we realize that the house is a sanctuary for all of us.It should be a place where family can relax and unwind after a hard day's work.For the children we know that they work hard and undergo all sorts of stress at the work place.That's why we believe that the home should be a haven for them where the hustle of daily living cane be ste aside.
The children should appreciate the fact that mum takes delight in preparing meals for them and its important to appreciate that you have a mum who sees to it that the family has proper meals.That's why the Chinese phrase "wan sek' and the Malay 'cari makan " makes sense.
We eat out at least once a week and its a family affair and its great for strnthening family bonds.We appreciate the fact that our girls and their spouses spend time with us and also the little grandson makes the outings so much more fun.Our boys are easy on food choice and never fuss over what we eat.This is one of life's little blessings which we value.A dinner outside will always be spoilt if you have one or two persons being fussy about food and for us elders when it comes to eating let the young ones decide and just eat what they prefer.No big deal and dont make things difficult for them.
4.Workwise,just got news that the Management wants us to continue for another year and I'm happy that my staff have work for 2012.Its a greta feeling to realize that you are still able to continue working at this age.The money is not big but its something to do rather than staying at home and just waiting for your time to come.
Also its gratifying to know that the children are doing well getting promotions and climbing up the job ladder.
So 2011 will come to an end soon and it has been a good year all said and done.Wish for 2012 ? Good health and children and grandchildren and their spouses achieve their dreams too.