A quaint marriage tradition

Yesterday 17 Nov 2010 was a red letter day for our youngest daughter Sze.It was the day when the groom's side brought the traditional gifts as an official gesture that they are requesting for the girl's hand in marriage.The custom has evolved since the time it started.In the early days there would be a big delegation from the groom's side and they would bring all types of gifts made up of expensive silk cloth,exotic foodstuffs,gold and jewelery.The richer the groom is and the richer the lady is would determine the size and value of the dowry.
There would be a kind of procession involving the people who brought the gifts and those who were to receive them waited patiently for them to arrive.Before that there would be a negotiation from the groom's side and the bride's side regarding what would be the appropriate amount and what should the gifts be made up of.Sometimes this negotiation would end up in quarrels and before the couple even get started in life there would be dispute.
Today we leave it to the groom to bring what he felt like bringing and we never demanded a lot for our daughters because of the simple fact that we are not selling our daughters and the dowry was just a tradition to be followed.Mum and I always believed that there is no point in us asking for anything from the groom's side.What matters is the couple's happiness and that they have a good start in married life without having to incur expenditure which they can ill afford.Still tradition must be followed so we insisted on the dowry which we only took a token and returned the rest and the fruits and so on which we returned the bulk of .As mum says "Got come ,got go" in Cantonese.We did this because we wanted the other side to know that we are not selling our daughter for if we were to they will not be able to afford it because all our daughters are priceless.
Mum did a good job preparing everything in advance and the groom's representatives got a taste of her "Lum Mee" and they were really surprised that it tasted so good.After the lunch there was the small talk and tea before they left ,I believe quite happy.
The ceremony was a family affair and it was also to let both families know each other better.There is thus much to be said about our traditions which have been handed down for generations and if people can see the intrinsic value of such practices they would then find more meaning and understand why we must ensure that our traditions and practised for what are we if we do not value our traditions and heritage?