Marriage now and before.

our youngest daughter is busy preparing for her marriage and I cant help but feel happy for her that she has found the right man in Andrew.The institution of marriage has not changed much since the day I got married 43 years ago .The proposal,the choosing of dresses ,photography sessions ,the wedding dinner,the teasing of the bridegroom,the yam cha ceremony etc but there are subtle differences.
When we got married we had nothing ,just each other and the desire to spend the rest of our lives together and face the future together as a couple.Mum was only 21 when we got married>I had no house,no money,no savings and no car but she decided I was the guy for her and that was all that mattered.
Our marriage dinner was held in the cheong Kee Restaurant in Teluk Intan and for the boy's side in an Association Hall in Ipoh.No frills just eat and go home.We spent our honeymoon in Cameron Highlands in the old Kowloon hotel and I remember I borrowed Uncle Ming's car a ford Cortina for the journey up thare.It was an unforgettable honeymoon ,the first time mum and me had the opportunity to be together.Whatever else did not matter ,we had nothing except each other and a strong determination to spend our lives together.
Today's young people are different,they want to make sure that they have everything before settling down and go through a lot of unnecessary stress preparing for their big day.To us at that time these things were not that quite important.
Well after 43 years of marriage we have come a long way ,we are blessed with our children, our sons in law,and two lovely grandchildren and more than anything else we still have each other.The journey to this day has not been easy,there were times when we felt so frustrated because we did not have the things we really wanted but we really tried in our small way and in the way we could afford to make sure our children had everything their friends had.We were fortunate we were teachers and would make sure that we took the kids out during the year end school holidays.Of course there were no fancy trips like going overseas but we went to nearly all the local tourist spots,Cameron Highlangds,Pangkor,Penang and sometimes Singapore.It was just as enjoyable and it was through these trips perhaps that the bonding between the children became stronger.Mum would always insist on these trips and I had to crack my head to find the budget so that the kids did not feel any financial constrains when they went for their holidays.
The marriage between two people is the first step in life's journey for a couple and one must never forget that to make a marriage successful it takes two.Awareness of each other's strength and weaknesses are important just as tolerance,concern,care,the spirit of give and take,the ability to share things by talking to each other and more important to understand that no one is perfect and that we cannot expect the other party to be what we are but to accept them for what they are.As long as two people can communicate a lot of things can be resolved but when communication breaks down then the trouble starts and one must never overlook the importance of mutual respect.To this day I would never do anything important before discussing it with mum,that is respect.
I remember an important quote about marriage "Before marriage open both your eyes,but after marriage close one".