Wedding

Today it is interesting to note that weddings have not changed very much especially so the Chinese ones which are steeped in tradition.It begins when two people decide to spend the rest of their lives together.In the olden days a representative from the male side would go to the girl's house to officially ask for the maiden's hand.The first visit by the rep is also accompanied by some form of gifts.
When the marriage is agreed to ,the dowry is then negotiated.It can range from huge sums of cash plus jewelery and dinners ,silken cloth and etc etc depending on the status of both families.Once this is agreed the auspicious date would be selected and thenceforth the groom and bride cannot meet.It was common in the early days for marriages to be arranged and there were not many love matches as male/female encounters were limited.
The wedding ceremony itself would involve the groom going to the bride's house with a lot of fanfare and a big delegation of supporters.Once the bride was received the couple would pay their respects to the parents and bow at the ancestral altar to get the blessings from the dearly departed.
After that its over to the groom's side where again the respects re paid to the parents and the bowing at the family altar.Then comes the wedding dinner attended by friends and relatives .It was usually lavish as the parents would want to announce to everyone that their daughter was married.The couple was expected to stay at the groom's house and the daughter in law had to be very obedient and courteous to the in laws.
Our youngest daughter got married traditionally on the 11th Dec. and we are all happy that she found the man of her choice in Andrew.As parents nothing make us happier than to see our children happily settled down.We can feel that they are compatible and hopefully Sze has made the right choice.A bit of the tradition mentioned above were followed but with some modifications.It was gratifying to see all the sisters and cousins chipping in to make sure everything went well for the little sister and they did a good job seeing that everything went on well.The distribution of work was nicely done and a fine testimony of how modern management can get things done efficiently.I believe everyone entrusted with the different tasks carried out their responsibility to the best and it was a good example of delegation of work.
Reminds me of the time when I got married.Mum was only 21 and I 27 .We had nothing ,our parents were unable to support us financially and we had to depend on ourselves.We had nothing except love and the courage to take the plunge.We did everything ourselves and there were no relatives to help us but at the end of the day we managed to survive the ceremonies and everything and after 43 years of marriage I believe we have no regrets .Life was tough for us but mum was a strong lady and through her inspiration and encouragement we made our lives into something meaningful,bringing up 4 children,educating them and seeing them become adults ready to live their lives on their own.A sterling example of team work...mum always believed that the woman should be one step behind the man and the house chores should be done by the lady thus giving the man his full attention to concentrate on his career.It worked well for us !
Three down and one to go and when Imn gets her marriage done we can say Mission Accomplished!