Growing Old

As you grow older you begin to wonder about life's irony.When you were young and your children young they looked up to you ,depended on you and thought you were the greatest.Now as you advance onto old age you are stupid, petty and unable to discuss things intelligently.
We gave our children everything we could within our means and they never had to doubt about us over anything.They knew our home was theirs and that they can count on us for anything.As parents taught our children the important values of life and we only wished to see them grow up in a safe and secure environment.This was our responsibility and commitment to them>No sacrifice was too great or difficult as long as they were spared all the stress of life which we faced.A lot of problems of bringing them up were only known and shared by mum and me.
We never showed them the difficulties we faced because there was no point as they were in a position of being unable to do anything,so we plodded on and today the children are all grown up and have lives of their own.So where do we fit in?In our hearts there is always the thought of going back to Ipoh to enjoy the rest of our lives together in a stress free and happy environment.Thank God we are in good health and financially independent.This is one of the reasons why I decided to work.Last time I was thinking of retirement but on second thought I decided it would be better to continue for as long as I am wanted.I can buy what I want right now and money the way I like because its my money and I can do what I like with it.Many parents say that they feel shy to ask their children for money and its true>I cant imagine asking any one of my children to for example buy me a golf club or an expensive t shirt .Its great to be financially independent !
As you grow old you keep wondering if anything happens to you what will be the outcome.Mum and I have decided that when we are old and disabled we would stay in an old folks home.We can afford it with our pensions and need not bother anyone.We cant imagine how anyone of the children can look after us with their careers and own family commitments.As you grow old you pray that if you have to go you should go fast.My poor sister has been bed ridden for so long and its painful to see her wasting away day by day, month by month and year by year.Me ? I always pray that if I have to go its when I hit a golf ball and then drop.
Mum always said I should go first as she could survive without me and I cant without her.Maybe its true because I cant think of what life would be for me without her.At least the two of us can share a lot of things and still our hopes.We talk during the journeys back to Ipoh and our daily breakfast rendezvous before I go to work and there is a lot of sharing between us,our joys ,our disappointments and sometimes frustrations.It was painful for me to see her doing all the housework before the maid came.Washing,sweeping,cleaning,cooking and looking after Aaron are big jobs and taking into consideration her age and health I wonder how she could do it and for what??? The simple reason is for the love of the children .What does she expect in return?? Money?We have enough !As they say " Little things mean a lot" Does she get the little things?She does of course but there are times when her hurt is so great that only I know. A harsh word said maybe unintentionally , a little bit of disrespect,a little bit of temper here and there hurts her a lot and I always say " Look we dont have to have all this crap, not when we are in our golden years"
But parents sacrifices never end and have no boundaries so we practice the golden virtue of "TOLERANCE" and in the process suffer in silence.Do we need this? Do we deserve this?
Values have changed.Today children no longer treat their parents the way parents should be treated.As a son my biggest regret is that I could not give my parents the things they needed.We were young and struggling and could barely make ends meet let alone give them the things they deserved.What could not be given to them was given in the form of respect ,love and obedience.I was taught never to argue with my parents,never raise my voice talking to them and to obey no matter what.Today's children seem to have lost such values,when we say things we are brushed aside as tough we are stupid and our opinions dont seem to matter.Children would not think twice about raising their voices on their parents and some have even chased their parents out of the house.Is this the price we have to pay for progress?."What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but suffer the loss of his soul?"..a meaningful saying and very true.
Thus as we grow old scary thoughts plague the mind and in summary its better not to live too long!!!!