Filial piety

To the Chinese being filial is one of the most important traits a person should have.the Chinese have always believed that just as our parents must bear the responsibility of bringing us up so must we the children respect and honor them when they are with us and even when they are gone.Paying respects to your parents irrespective of whether they are around or not is an important Chinese tradition.
If you fail to do that you are being un filial and this comes with a lot of adverse effects. Some believe that  if you are unfilial you will be affected by all sorts of bad feng shui and that the cycle will come back to you ie if you are not filial to your parents so will your children be to you.
There are many ways of being filial,. Amongst them is to respect your parents and listen to them.Of course , loving and honoring them are part and parcel of filial piety.Too often we take parents for granted and too often we think more of ourselves than them .Sad, but true.
We never think of the things our parents do for us when they are around and if they are gone sometimes we even forget.remembering your parents come in the form of having them in your thoughts all the time and manifesting it by paying respects to them in their final resting places.sadly enough though there are people who do not find time to visit their parents graves during All Souls'day or Ching Ming .These are annual affairs designed to allow the off springs to show their respect to their parents and if you cant even spare one day in a year for this purpose then it speaks very little of you as a person.
Young people are so wrapped up in their daily routines that they forget to think of the old people who are with them.I just wonder why on certain days they cannot be a bit early so that the elderly can get on with other chores ? Why must they be so late that by the time the poor old person leaves its already dark  and dont they realize that it is a strain for old people to drive in the dark, more so if there is rain ?This is where a little consideration would go a long way and it is but one of the many ways we can show filial piety.
Today only me and mum do our filial duty by paying our respects annually to our dearly departed and it has always occurred to us that one day when we are gone will our descendants do the same from us.Judging from the trend now , looks like we have reason to be concerned but I have always told mum that once we are gone this does not matter anymore ,just the thought that after all she has done would it be to much to ask to be remembered ?

Success and failure

Steven Covey's "7 habits of successful people " makes for interesting reading.The book has been in the market for quite some time and we discussed it at length during my learning and training days.Going through his message, it boils down to a simple premise , that before anything can happen for the better we must make changes within ourselves.To do this , an honest self analysis needs to be done .Questions like ; What are my objectives  in life ? How am I going to achieve them? What are my strengths and weaknesses ? How to build on my strengths and improve on my weaknesses ?
To answer these questions and to be able to do something about them makes the difference between success and failure.
One would know about one's weaknesses surely as along the way there would have been people who have pointed them out to us in good faith.If you are proactive and sensitive you would think of how to handle these.I have noted that the are people who moan and groan about traffic jams.So ? Dont they realize that traffic jams are part and parcel of life in the city .Do they ever consider how pathetic their groans and moans seem to thinking people.? People of substance would think of how to cope with such a situation instead of moaning and groaning .If you expect pity or sympathy from people , forget it as they will only recognize how ineffective you are as a person.Life is about choices and we are blessed that we can make choices.What matters is if we know how .
Steven Covey made his point very clearly that successful people never let circumstances control them but they control the circumstances.I can give lots of examples but I feel it would be belaboring the obvious.
If you cant manage your personal life how can you manage the external forces which are part and parcel of your life ? Success comes with constant reminders , countless determination to improve and constant efforts to improve.We have our weaknesses >the difference between the successful person and the failure is the one recognizes them and keep on working to get rid of them whilst the failure just moan and groan and never bother to think of ways and means to improve.There is nothing so sickening as to tell someone something and watch him do nothing or even make an effort to consider what input has been given to him.

The superior and the Mediocre

We see a lot of young people trying to make the best of their lives ,making a living, building a home and work for a future for their children.In the process we see the different kinds of young people and there is definitely a clear line of distinction between the superior and the mediocre.The superior is ambitious, works hard and has a clear cut sense of direction.he knows what he wants and knows what it takes to get it.He is all the time alert , listening and digesting information and making use of what he has picked up.
The mediocre will not even listen and if you hope that external input and stimulus will motivate him or even make him spare a thought , you better think twice.I call these people "Deadwood ". They are dead to any kind of stimulus , are complacent and live in their own comfort zone.They will not budge or try to make a difference in their lifestyle.They watch things happen and flow with the tide .you would not expect them to make things happen because they are not sensitive to any sort of stimuli .Looking at their body language will tell you a lot about them.When in a group , they do not participate intelligently and can only be good enough to make some obvious remarks from time to time.An example would be ,if they see someone back from somewhere they seek to ask " You just came back from ...? ". So obvious a question that it needs not be asked and even asking it makes you sound stupid.
Superior people if they have nothing to ask will just listen and absorb  what is being said and learn from it.talking to a mediocre person is like talking to a wall and what makes it so annoying is that they never seem to listen .People change and change is the impetus for improvement >If you do not change your way how can you improve.Of course change is not necessarily for the better but if you are sensitive enough when somebody points out your weakness you may see the need to make a change.If not, who can blame you for being called a "Deadwood ?"/
Life is about betterment and improvement .the superior person will always be self analytical and be sensible enough to make changes.There are people who live in traffic congested areas and only know how to complain about traffic jams.Given, that traffic jams are a way of life , there are certainly ways to circumvent it if you are proactive and intelligent enough. If need to , leave at 6am and be back off peak hours.There are other alternatives like change jobs, change place of work but for these options to work one must be thinking individuals and not people who just moan and groan without making any real efforts to circumvent the problem/Consider, going to work early and coming home late and what this will make your employer think of you.
The difference between the two types of people will be seen in terms of the responsibilities and trust given to them and the high level of confidence which people will tend to have of them .Its time to look at ourselves and assess which category of people we want to be in.

A matter of character.

It really irks me to see people turn scruffy .Wearing clothes which are not well ironed and failing to groom oneself are annoying things to discerning people.I cant figure out why shaving is so difficult when indeed it should be a matter of daily routine.Imagine facing your boss and clients with scruffy , untidy growth on your face .What will be the impression you give to the people whom you have to face ?I had a teacher under me who once came to work with his " whiskers " growing haphazardly on his face  and I told him in no uncertain terms to go home and have a good shave before he faces his students.From that day on he was always cleanly shaved and presentable as befitting a man of his status.
Personal grooming is something which in a way will differentiate the quality man from the mediocre.If you have to face people ,you have to understand that they are  quick to criticize and judge .Imagine talking business with hairs sticking out from all over your face .What will others be thinking of you? There will be some who fall back on the premise that " It does not matter what others think of me ".If you have this kind of attitude then you might as well be a Robinson Crusoe or Tarzan who happily wears a loin cloth .We cant run away from the fact that we are social animals and like it or nor people's impressions of you count.
How can people think highly of you if you cant even manage yourself? When employers think of a candidate for promotion what do they look at ? For one, I am sure they would consider your personality , how you carry yourself , how you present yourself ,other than your job attitude , job knowledge, team work and etc.If we were to consider someone for managerial positions these factors will certainly count.A well presented individual would certainly give confidence and be a good symbol of corporate image.
My previous employer in the Renong Group of Companies would ensure that all executive staff representing the company be attired in coat and tie and this rule makes sense as our clients would then look at us with some kind of admiration for we were properly attired.In the government too all senior officers must be at least properly attired with shirt and tie.This is image and certainly at first impression image goes a long way.A bit of self appraisal , a good look at oneself in the mirror from time to time will go a long way to boost up your character.