Friday, April 25, 2014

The Hippocrates Oath

It seems that today many doctors ( not all though ) have forgotten about this promise which they made ...basically to save lives.In their quest for materialistic wealth many doctors have thrown their principles to the wind. Take the case of my nephew who nearly lost his life because of carelessness , and low quality medical treatment.He was not feeling well and admitted himself to the hospital nearest his home where he was diagnosed as having gastric problem.This happened from 11 am in the morning and it was only in the late evening that he was told there was some problem with his heart.The doctor insisted that he be admitted to a hospital in Klang , blatantly telling him that there are no vacancies in the hospitals nearby. It was a good thing my nephew out of desperation called us and it so happened we have a doctor friend in one of the hospitals.She told us to send him over to her hospital immediately which we did amidst the protests of the first doctor. My nephew was checked that night and immediately admitted The first doctor had the audacity to say all nearby hospitals were full ).The next day they did an operation on him and managed to clear two of his blocked vessels and today he is fine and about to be discharged. I cant imagine what a scoundrel the first doctor was, scaring people and putting his own vested interest first instead of that of the patient. There is another story which my friend witnessed himself. There was this elderly lady who went to see a doctor and when she came out she was in tears and my friend kindly asked her what was the problem and she said the doctor asked her to leave his room as she could not pay the fee he wanted. What happened to the Oath taken ? To treat the sick and to save lives ? Today , sadly . many doctors see patients as cash cows and irrespective of their sickness and their ability to pay.We would expect a doctor to save lives first and then talk of payment but this is not happening. Why ? Its not difficult to answer ...greed above all things else.If you have money I will happily treat you , if not ..that's your problem. Pretty disappointing and definitely tarnishing the reputation of the medical profession.The late Karpal Singh was a brilliant criminal lawyer and he never turned his back on anyone who needed his services.To him , help the person first , money is secondary.That is a true professional and a man who lived by the ethics of his profession.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Frailty of Life

Now and then we get an unexpected phone call during an unforeseen time and it really scares us.Two days ago mum got a call at around 930pm.I could hear from her voice that something was not right and it turned out to be so.One of her cousins complained of breathing difficulties and had to be sent to the hospital.He is 70 over years old and mum naturally was worried and immediately prepared to rush to the hospital.As it was that time of the night when my brain stops functioning we got our son in law to drive her there. Fortunately it was nothing serious but the message sent was clear ...for us oldies anything untoward happening can be serious because we are all in the zone of permanent departure.Most of the old people are prone to falls ( which can in most cases be serious ), heart attacks , collapse and etc.Never to be the ones who would leave giving our children headache and uncertainty, we are I believe well prepared .All our affairs are in order and I am in the midst of preparing a final letter to my children and grand children which they will read when I am not around.I was pondering as to whether it should be revealed now but then since I'm still around and can still say what I want to say it does not make sense right ? We would want our children and grandchildren to always think that we will be going to a better place where all the hassles of life need not be something to worry about anymore and there , hopefully will be some kind of legacy which we can leave behind for them to remember us by. Old people have no choice but to think of these things and be prepared so that the off springs are spared the unnecessary headache.Like it or not, these are the realities of life which one must accept.We would of course like to be around , to see the grandchildren grow up and just be with them and our children but life is unpredictable and to make it less so we have to be extra careful in our lifestyle . I have a good friend who accidentally hurt his toe and it became so bad that he nearly had to amputate it and this all because he was careless. Another friend slipped from a ladder whilst he was trying to change a light bulb in his house and till today is unable to play golf as his ribs still hurt when he moves his arms.There are so many cases of stroke, bed ridden, Parkinson , senility that its quite scary .When the time comes its best to go quick and not suffer or let your loved ones suffer. My poor sister was bed ridden for years as a result of a stroke and it was painful to see her deteriorating day by day.Finally when she went we all felt a sense of relief as that ended her suffering and that of her family. Fate, if you believe in it is there but not for us to know .We can only hope that Fate will be kind to us.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The best time

I was watching this soap opera for some time ( It has ended ) and was wondering how the episodes shown relate to the title.It was about corporate culture, intrigues and a four person cross romance.It was only towards the end when the girl's father was lying on the hospital bed dying, that the meaning unfolded.She showed him an album taken of the family when they were young and the various things which they went through and then looking at the pictures the fathered uttered " This was the best time ".It was only then that I realized why the " best time " and set me thinking too " what is our best time ?". A man goes through a cycle, birth, childhood , adulthood , parenthood and looking at my own cycle I cant help but ponder as to where my best time was. Childhood was kampong style as we stayed in the little town of Tapah and childhood was swimming in the river ( often getting caned for it as my mum always warned us of the danger )shooting birds and eating them , using our hands and legs only for whatever activities.This was the carefree times ,our needs were simple and there were no lofty thoughts. Came adulthood and with it the struggles to cope with finance, job and family responsibilities.Life was a big struggle then as half of what I earned went to my parents as it was considered mandatory for children to support parents.With half a salary it meant prudence and cost saving. Adulthood was the time of courting and going out with the right girl and once that happens you are expected to get married.I can say that mum and I started life with each other without anything except love for each other and confidence and hope in the future.I remember I had no savings , and not even a bicycle to my name.Despite this we decided to face life together and embark upon life's journey as a couple.Mum was brave and I believe maybe she saw that there was some future with me.Today our journey has lasted nearly 47 years and it has been an exciting and meaningful one .The journey saw us bring to the world 4 daughters and 3 grandchildren.The first part of our journey is completed and now I believe comes the " best time ". We have no more worries at the moment, health wise and security wise.It is a joy to see the grandchildren growing up and noticing that there are already certain traits which may influence their later lives.This is the best part of being grand parents except perhaps for the fact that mum has to make a lot of sacrifices especially of her time.She does this willingly and nothing makes her happier than to be able to help in looking after the grandchildren and keeping the house in order. We have learned to co exist and behave like old people should .We have learned to set aside petty grievances and always think of the welfare of the children.Mum is still very active and loves travelling which is not my forte.I allow her to go where she wants and I do my things.We have the peace of mind which comes with understanding and tolerance. To us , to be free of all the human challenges and stress is something precious.We need only to ensure that we are in good health and be able to see the grandchildren grow up.In the process , to be able to help out in the family and not get into anybody's way is important.To be independent and to be yet able to enjoy life I believe this is "the best time "of our lives.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Being independent

Mom and I have learned that even at this age its best not to depend on anybody as many a time dependence only creates frustration and disappointment.Many a time I have ,through no choice , asked for simple things to be done but sadly its either "wait, till I'm ready " or conveniently forgotten.So in order to avoid frustration its better to do it yourself even though it means lifting heavy things. Mom is so independent that its unbelievable and for her age she is happily gallivanting all over the place without asking for help.She says its better to depend on oneself rather than others who may give all sorts of excuses and worse still just ignore you.I am still happily driving nearly 200 km up and down Ipoh and as long as I can do it I will do it and not ask anyone to do the driving for me.Mum and I will manage by ourselves for as long as we can as its our norm to depend on ourselves. Of late suddenly she has been thinking off the beaten track like asking me "Do you trust your daughter ?" Knowing her , i knew there will be something more to this and when I asked her why and told her "Of course I trust my daughter " she said " enough to put your house in her name ?"I said that is no issue and then she said "Look , we are getting old and its time we started getting things in place". I saw the wisdom of her words and her consideration for the family as always and I would happily go along with whatever she decides.Then it struck me "What happens if one of us goes first ? What would happen to the other ?" We talked about this and both of us have our plans in the eventuality that one has to go first. With that I guess both of us have peace of mind and hopefully can just depend on each other.Experience has told us that at the end of the day we two old folks will be ok as long as we have each other as we are relatively healthy , financially independent and above all logistically independent.Even though it means a bit of body ache I would rather drive up and down myself rather than to ask for help as the asking may be "rewarded" by frustration and disappointment.Looking at he young people today we cant help but compare them with us when we were that age.Offering to help with some inconvenience to oneself should never be a problem but I just wonder how many young people today would set aside their own time and convenience for the benefit of others ? Mum is a great example of motherly love and sacrifices made for the family.She happily looks after the family and the grandchildren but is there any reciprocal ?There are many things which can be done for her..its up to us to think of what and if we are caring and considerate enough we will see the many ways to help her.I shall not spell this out.