This morning while I was showering my little hero pushed open the bathroom room and laughed merrily seeing me in that state.I was just as amused at his little prank and laughed inwardly.A few minutes later after I told him to wait for me in the room . I saw my carefully folded blanket strewn all over the place and then he took my water bottle and threw it down the stairs>If I were STUPID and uncontrolled I would have screamed and yelled at him but I think I am a bit more dignified and more sensible to do such a ridiculous thing especially understanding children and their mischievous acts.
We have to understand that children are not ROBOTS who can think and do things like adults and we have to understand them.You cannot expect a child to think like you ( if at all you can think ) and judge him according to your norms.Children will always be children and we adults have to to a certain extent put up with their pranks.Whilst disciplining the kid may be necessary a sensible person will know that there are many ways of doing so without having to behave like an idiot yelling and shouting at the poor kid.By so doing , you are merely belittling yourself and you prove nothing.To me when I see such things my opinion of the person takes a nose dive and I find it difficult to have any bit of respect for him .
We have to think that bringing up a child in a culture of shouting and yelling is definitely not the way>only people who are unable to control a situation resort to this .People with some knowledge and understanding and maybe of some standing will figure out and accept the fact that shouting gets us nowhere.There are always alternatives to getting a message across.What makes it more annoying is that despite being told that shouting is not the way they continue to do so.I have taught many students before and never did I have to shout and yell at them.A little look , a little raised voice are enough for them to listen to what I had to say.
I fail to understand how an old lady who has to spend practically the whole day with a kid never lost her cool despite the mischievous pranks of the little fella.She has to take care of him besides doing all the household chores .Try it and see how much strength and energy you need to handle all this .I cannot imagine how a person having come home barely 10 minutes can start yelling and shouting at a little kid.The only conclusion I can make is that this person simply has not got what it takes to be somebody. Probably he is letting out his frustrations and covering his own inadequacies by taking it out on the poor child who may be startled and frightened with serious long term effects on his personality and psychological well being.All said and done we cannot expect people with little substance to think this far.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Mothers
They say there is no person in the world more special than your mother .I could not agree more as we have right in our midst that very special person.She is the mother of all mothers .her family always comes first and there is nothing in the world that she would not do for her family.
At an age when most people should be taking it easy , she cooks , cleans , washes , baby sit and makes sure that all the other housework are done.It takes superhuman efforts to carry out all these tasks which are done without a whimper of dissent or grumble. She endures all the difficulties without any complain ( you have to try doing all these chores to know what its like ).All these are done willingly and happily without expecting anything in return. Yet, sometimes we fail to realize that the human body has its limitations.Hands grow weary . shoulders ache and legs become tired. It would be nice that we know this and do the necessary to help. I make sure that each week she has her regular massage as it helps rejuvenate the tired bones and gives her two hours of complete relaxation which is what she so much deserves.
People around her need to be supportive and understanding knowing that she has to go through all these .Sometimes if you cant be of help , at least you should be a liability.She has often said that people should try to lead a normal life , like go to work on time, help out a little bit by not getting in the way and coming to help when she needs help.She has always mentioned that she has two families to look after and the least we can do is to ensure that she is given the time to do it.Coming home a bit early so she has time to go out is surely not asking for too much .A little consideration goes a long way .
We all know that she has to prepare dinner for the family .The ingredients are all bought be her in her weekly trips to the market.I have accompanied her on several occasions and know what marketing involves.Its not just a matter of buying the things for the week , its knowing what you want to buy in advance so that you need not waste any time..We fail to realize how expensive marketing can be unless we are there.I know that it will require at least RM 300 to RM 400 a week to get the foodstuffs for the week.Not only this you have to carry the things that you buy .I just wonder why some of the younger people never bother to help out.Sure its tough but is the toughness only for you ? Somebody has to do it and why only one person ?
There is no denying the lengths a mother will go for the sake of her children .No sacrifice is too great , no chore is too difficult and you may also say no mountain is high enough for her to climb. It is important to realize that whilst the mother does not ask for anything in return we should at least make things easier for her by being appreciative and just as considerate.
At an age when most people should be taking it easy , she cooks , cleans , washes , baby sit and makes sure that all the other housework are done.It takes superhuman efforts to carry out all these tasks which are done without a whimper of dissent or grumble. She endures all the difficulties without any complain ( you have to try doing all these chores to know what its like ).All these are done willingly and happily without expecting anything in return. Yet, sometimes we fail to realize that the human body has its limitations.Hands grow weary . shoulders ache and legs become tired. It would be nice that we know this and do the necessary to help. I make sure that each week she has her regular massage as it helps rejuvenate the tired bones and gives her two hours of complete relaxation which is what she so much deserves.
People around her need to be supportive and understanding knowing that she has to go through all these .Sometimes if you cant be of help , at least you should be a liability.She has often said that people should try to lead a normal life , like go to work on time, help out a little bit by not getting in the way and coming to help when she needs help.She has always mentioned that she has two families to look after and the least we can do is to ensure that she is given the time to do it.Coming home a bit early so she has time to go out is surely not asking for too much .A little consideration goes a long way .
We all know that she has to prepare dinner for the family .The ingredients are all bought be her in her weekly trips to the market.I have accompanied her on several occasions and know what marketing involves.Its not just a matter of buying the things for the week , its knowing what you want to buy in advance so that you need not waste any time..We fail to realize how expensive marketing can be unless we are there.I know that it will require at least RM 300 to RM 400 a week to get the foodstuffs for the week.Not only this you have to carry the things that you buy .I just wonder why some of the younger people never bother to help out.Sure its tough but is the toughness only for you ? Somebody has to do it and why only one person ?
There is no denying the lengths a mother will go for the sake of her children .No sacrifice is too great , no chore is too difficult and you may also say no mountain is high enough for her to climb. It is important to realize that whilst the mother does not ask for anything in return we should at least make things easier for her by being appreciative and just as considerate.
Thursday, March 24, 2016
A freak accident
Sometimes things seem to happen for no apparent reason.I was back home early one day and spent some quality time with my grandson in the back room.We had planned to have dinner outside that evening and since that was the plan I decided to leave the office early .Mum was free and had nothing to do since the little fella was under my care.
Suddenly I heard her calling me from outside and on coming out I saw her sitting on the chair somewhat dazed and it was only when she spoke that I realized what had happened.She told me " I crashed my car, whacked the gate and damaged your car ".Then I took a look and lo and behold her car was damaged , the auto gate was open and my car had a huge dent on it .I was speechless and my first thought was to see if anything happened to her.Thank God she was ok and then slowly when she calmed down I asked her what happened .
She said she wanted to reverse her car which was parked in the porch a little bit and suddenly she could not stop it and the car just crashed through the gate and that was what happened .probably she stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake and the car just kept on reversing and the more she panicked the more she accelerated .This is not uncommon as there were many cases of people stepping on the accelerator instead of the brakes in times of panic.Fortunately she was not hurt.
A human being can only do so much .On reflection one cannot help but wonder if she is doing too much and the stress and tiredness is taking its toll.To wash, cook , iron , clean and babysit is really beyond the means of any normal human being but she does all these without a murmur as to her there is nothing she would not do for her family.But there should be some kind of limits .That being so we sometimes fail to realize that the human body has its limits and things are taken for granted.
So much sacrifices have to be made and so much tiring chores have to be done all all for the sake of the family.Nothing is asked for in return as to a mother no sacrifice is too great .She has often mentioned that doing all the things she does is not a big deal and the only thing she asks for is a bit of consideration now and then like making efforts to come home one day in the week so that she can go out early instead of having to drive in the dark and ensuring that the others who depend on her too are taken care of.
There are times when young people have to focus on their careers .We understand that but surely if your work is flexible some kind of arrangement can be made on certain days ( not everyday ) of the week .It is nor right when one member of the family stresses herself out when the other one is happily ignorant or uncaring about his responsibilities.Coming home early and eating together saves a lot of trouble as she need not wait for the latecomer to finish his dinner ( at his own pace ) before she can wash the dishes .This is consideration >If I have to come home late everyday because of exigencies of service I would rather eat out than be a burden to everyone else.That is the difference between the caring and non caring person who only thinks of his own well being and seems to be in a world of his own without realizing there are others around him..
She felt bad about the damage to my car and even offered to pay for the repairs.I told her not to worry about that and I would never let her do that.To me , the fact that nothing happened to her is worth all the money in the world.The incident is an eye opener to everyone that we should not impose too much on any one person>Little things which we can do to help must be done.Whilst we all have our job the person who has a brighter career path must be given the opportunity to pursue her career whilst the other party should help out in the household chores.To see one party going out of the way to help whilst the other does nothing is quite annoying to say the least.As adults we need no be told to take our shower or to carry out the little tasks assigned to us .If you cannot be of help at least do not be a liability.After all it takes every member of the family to build a home.
Suddenly I heard her calling me from outside and on coming out I saw her sitting on the chair somewhat dazed and it was only when she spoke that I realized what had happened.She told me " I crashed my car, whacked the gate and damaged your car ".Then I took a look and lo and behold her car was damaged , the auto gate was open and my car had a huge dent on it .I was speechless and my first thought was to see if anything happened to her.Thank God she was ok and then slowly when she calmed down I asked her what happened .
She said she wanted to reverse her car which was parked in the porch a little bit and suddenly she could not stop it and the car just crashed through the gate and that was what happened .probably she stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake and the car just kept on reversing and the more she panicked the more she accelerated .This is not uncommon as there were many cases of people stepping on the accelerator instead of the brakes in times of panic.Fortunately she was not hurt.
A human being can only do so much .On reflection one cannot help but wonder if she is doing too much and the stress and tiredness is taking its toll.To wash, cook , iron , clean and babysit is really beyond the means of any normal human being but she does all these without a murmur as to her there is nothing she would not do for her family.But there should be some kind of limits .That being so we sometimes fail to realize that the human body has its limits and things are taken for granted.
So much sacrifices have to be made and so much tiring chores have to be done all all for the sake of the family.Nothing is asked for in return as to a mother no sacrifice is too great .She has often mentioned that doing all the things she does is not a big deal and the only thing she asks for is a bit of consideration now and then like making efforts to come home one day in the week so that she can go out early instead of having to drive in the dark and ensuring that the others who depend on her too are taken care of.
There are times when young people have to focus on their careers .We understand that but surely if your work is flexible some kind of arrangement can be made on certain days ( not everyday ) of the week .It is nor right when one member of the family stresses herself out when the other one is happily ignorant or uncaring about his responsibilities.Coming home early and eating together saves a lot of trouble as she need not wait for the latecomer to finish his dinner ( at his own pace ) before she can wash the dishes .This is consideration >If I have to come home late everyday because of exigencies of service I would rather eat out than be a burden to everyone else.That is the difference between the caring and non caring person who only thinks of his own well being and seems to be in a world of his own without realizing there are others around him..
She felt bad about the damage to my car and even offered to pay for the repairs.I told her not to worry about that and I would never let her do that.To me , the fact that nothing happened to her is worth all the money in the world.The incident is an eye opener to everyone that we should not impose too much on any one person>Little things which we can do to help must be done.Whilst we all have our job the person who has a brighter career path must be given the opportunity to pursue her career whilst the other party should help out in the household chores.To see one party going out of the way to help whilst the other does nothing is quite annoying to say the least.As adults we need no be told to take our shower or to carry out the little tasks assigned to us .If you cannot be of help at least do not be a liability.After all it takes every member of the family to build a home.
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Character
The Oxford dictionary defines character as " the particular combination of qualities in a person that makes him different from others ".Looking at many people it seems difficult to find someone who can be said to have character.My perception of character can be summarized under different headings :
1. Personality .
Do you have the charismatic type of personality which will make people take notice of you ? Do you have what it takes to be outstanding in terms of people's perception of you ?
2.Grooming .
It is important that we look presentable to others at all times as you are what you look.That is why people spend a lot of money to make themselves look good . the discerning person would size you up to a certain extent just by looking at you .As one would say " first impressions are important " though later on one may find that the first impression may not necessarily be the correct impression.There are people whose philosophy is "as long as i have clothes on my body it is good enough for me ".True if you live by yourself and do not come into contact with others >Humility is good but over humility may be difficult to be accepted in a critical society.
3.Self management and self standards.
What standards to we set for ourselves ? What is our personal branding ? Are we known for our reliability ? our punctuality ? efficiency ? knowledge ? our neatness ? our consideration ? etc.
It is good to be recognised and associated with some unique qualities.I have a few friends whom I have come across whom I know and acknowledge for their concern for others, , their diligence , their willingness to help and make sacrifices and their willingness to help .
If you cant even manage your time by being punctual and organized then you are not much to spaek of.
4.Responsibility and proactive.
Do you need to be reminded of the things which you do as a matter of routine and do you look one step ahead ? If you do the same thing everyday and still cant do it well then you must be lacking in something.If you have to arrive at your office at a certain time everyday and if you cant do it something is wrong .
5. Self improvement .
We all have our share of bad habits .This is quite normal as no man is perfect but if are being told your bad habits and you make no effort to improve but keep on repeating the same bad habits then you are lacking.We do get feedback from various sources almost every day.Do we listen and do we register ? Are we sensitive to feed back? Do we analyse and work towards self improvement >
There are many things which determines one's character and its up to us to think of what are the things we need to consider for others to define us as a person with character whom others can look up to.I have only indicated a few of the character traits which are important >iam sure thare are lots of other traits which one may want to include.
1. Personality .
Do you have the charismatic type of personality which will make people take notice of you ? Do you have what it takes to be outstanding in terms of people's perception of you ?
2.Grooming .
It is important that we look presentable to others at all times as you are what you look.That is why people spend a lot of money to make themselves look good . the discerning person would size you up to a certain extent just by looking at you .As one would say " first impressions are important " though later on one may find that the first impression may not necessarily be the correct impression.There are people whose philosophy is "as long as i have clothes on my body it is good enough for me ".True if you live by yourself and do not come into contact with others >Humility is good but over humility may be difficult to be accepted in a critical society.
3.Self management and self standards.
What standards to we set for ourselves ? What is our personal branding ? Are we known for our reliability ? our punctuality ? efficiency ? knowledge ? our neatness ? our consideration ? etc.
It is good to be recognised and associated with some unique qualities.I have a few friends whom I have come across whom I know and acknowledge for their concern for others, , their diligence , their willingness to help and make sacrifices and their willingness to help .
If you cant even manage your time by being punctual and organized then you are not much to spaek of.
4.Responsibility and proactive.
Do you need to be reminded of the things which you do as a matter of routine and do you look one step ahead ? If you do the same thing everyday and still cant do it well then you must be lacking in something.If you have to arrive at your office at a certain time everyday and if you cant do it something is wrong .
5. Self improvement .
We all have our share of bad habits .This is quite normal as no man is perfect but if are being told your bad habits and you make no effort to improve but keep on repeating the same bad habits then you are lacking.We do get feedback from various sources almost every day.Do we listen and do we register ? Are we sensitive to feed back? Do we analyse and work towards self improvement >
There are many things which determines one's character and its up to us to think of what are the things we need to consider for others to define us as a person with character whom others can look up to.I have only indicated a few of the character traits which are important >iam sure thare are lots of other traits which one may want to include.
Friday, March 4, 2016
Reflections
When I look at my grandchildren I cannot help but feel they are of a different breed from us.When we were young , we learned to be independent at an early age .There were six of us in our family, brothers and sisters and our parents were struggling to bring us up.We had to fend for ourselves and no one needs to tell us when to shower , get ready for school or do our homework.If we did not do our homework the teachers would deal with us.
We were rough and tough,swimming in the river ( and getting caned for it ) , drinking water from the tap and just having three meals a day ( in the house ).We never knew what was Mac D or KFC or even what coca cola tasted like.But we grew up just like any kid our age at that time and we were street wise and knew how to be independent.Our parents need not worry about us getting lost or not making our way to school and coming home after that.We never saw doctors when we were not well .The good thing about being sick was that you had the luxury of having an apple or two as it was believed that eating apples would make you get well faster.
We had no TV or hand phones or even toys.Our toys were made from what we got from the surroundings and we had fun with them.There were no cinemas and it was only in the 50s that we were able to get our first taste of watching movies in the cinema.Yet , without all these we grew up to be knowledgeable, smart and most important of all independent knowing how to take care of our things.We only had two sets of clothes for school and there was no such thing as going anywhere during holidays.To us holidays were day off, sleep late and just loaf around.We never thought of sleeping in nice beds with air con and fans.To us our bed was the camp bed which was a piece of canvas cloth strung over a couple of wooden support.It did not take up much space and could be easily stored.
Yes life was simple those day .Our needs were basic ,the staple food was rice and those days two plates of rice going down with curry or sambal belachan was a great meal .I remember how after school we would come home and wait for the chicken to lay eggs and the moment this was done we would take the egg and break it over a plate of hot rice and then mix it up with lard and soya sauce and that would make a great meal , more so if you chew on a piece of green chillies.
Our lives in the early days were basic and we grew up mainly on our own and that perhaps is why we older generation are tougher more resilient than the young people of today .
We were rough and tough,swimming in the river ( and getting caned for it ) , drinking water from the tap and just having three meals a day ( in the house ).We never knew what was Mac D or KFC or even what coca cola tasted like.But we grew up just like any kid our age at that time and we were street wise and knew how to be independent.Our parents need not worry about us getting lost or not making our way to school and coming home after that.We never saw doctors when we were not well .The good thing about being sick was that you had the luxury of having an apple or two as it was believed that eating apples would make you get well faster.
We had no TV or hand phones or even toys.Our toys were made from what we got from the surroundings and we had fun with them.There were no cinemas and it was only in the 50s that we were able to get our first taste of watching movies in the cinema.Yet , without all these we grew up to be knowledgeable, smart and most important of all independent knowing how to take care of our things.We only had two sets of clothes for school and there was no such thing as going anywhere during holidays.To us holidays were day off, sleep late and just loaf around.We never thought of sleeping in nice beds with air con and fans.To us our bed was the camp bed which was a piece of canvas cloth strung over a couple of wooden support.It did not take up much space and could be easily stored.
Yes life was simple those day .Our needs were basic ,the staple food was rice and those days two plates of rice going down with curry or sambal belachan was a great meal .I remember how after school we would come home and wait for the chicken to lay eggs and the moment this was done we would take the egg and break it over a plate of hot rice and then mix it up with lard and soya sauce and that would make a great meal , more so if you chew on a piece of green chillies.
Our lives in the early days were basic and we grew up mainly on our own and that perhaps is why we older generation are tougher more resilient than the young people of today .
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Life is short
People of our generation are pretty fragile as we are all in the sixties or seventies.We never know what lies ahead of us in the immediate future.Old people should never be left alone as in their fragile state they can fall, slip and fall or just fade away without anyone knowing.It is not uncommon to hear of the seniors passing away in their sleep or just going off.For the seniors I guess preparations would have been made so that when they leave this world all their affairs are taken off and the descendants need not be burdened by unnecessary headache,
Sometimes , despite the best preparations things are left aside unintentionally..Take the case of a golfer who was taking shelter during heavy rain and a tree fell on him , killing him.Suddenly he is gone at a young age and I am sure all his affairs would not be in order as how would a young man expect such a thing to happen.
Life is short.Be thankful that we are up and about and can enjoy a little of what life has to offer.If we have the means and the good health enjoy food once in a while without excesses, enjoy the time we have with family , friends and relatives.No point having all the money in the world and dont know how to use it.There are people who have lots of money not realizing that it is just paper if not spent.I never forget what a relative once told me " He has so much money when he passed away and sadly he cant even take one note with him ".Saving is fine but not at the expense of depriving yourself of what life has to offer >It is not indulging but there are things which we may want to do at this ripe old age like travel, buy the things we always wanted and helping others in need.
Life is short and as we near the end of life's journey we should have the right attitude towards life and remember that we should not only leave our footprints on the sand but on the stone where they can last for a long time.
Sometimes , despite the best preparations things are left aside unintentionally..Take the case of a golfer who was taking shelter during heavy rain and a tree fell on him , killing him.Suddenly he is gone at a young age and I am sure all his affairs would not be in order as how would a young man expect such a thing to happen.
Life is short.Be thankful that we are up and about and can enjoy a little of what life has to offer.If we have the means and the good health enjoy food once in a while without excesses, enjoy the time we have with family , friends and relatives.No point having all the money in the world and dont know how to use it.There are people who have lots of money not realizing that it is just paper if not spent.I never forget what a relative once told me " He has so much money when he passed away and sadly he cant even take one note with him ".Saving is fine but not at the expense of depriving yourself of what life has to offer >It is not indulging but there are things which we may want to do at this ripe old age like travel, buy the things we always wanted and helping others in need.
Life is short and as we near the end of life's journey we should have the right attitude towards life and remember that we should not only leave our footprints on the sand but on the stone where they can last for a long time.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
New Year , New Challenges
THE Chinese New Year is almost coming to an end and it has been a hectic and meaningful 10 days now.Hectic as we had to go back to Ipoh and meet up with friends and had a host of dinners with friends and relatives all very tiring but meaningful.The weather was hot but despite this it was great to enjoy a few rounds of golf .
The thing about the new Year is that your normal routine goes haywire .You sleep later but wake up at the same time and realize it or not this takes a toll on the old body.Today after everything , its back to work and its so tiring just sitting in the office.
Now that the old year is gone , we can look forward to the new and the important thing is to have the good health to do so. We are blessed as both of us are in relatively good health and are able to lead normal lives without too much of a hassle.The children are doing well in their careers , the in laws are fine , and the grandchildren are growing up well .To be able to see this and to enjoy the changes,physical, emotional , intellectual in the grandchildren are things which money cannot buy.Too often we forget to value the things that we have and yearn for things which we do not have.That is the normal human behavior ...to want things we do not have have whilst forgetting to appreciate the things that we have.To us at this ripe old age the most valuable thing is good health , nothing else is important.With good health you can enjoy the many things which come with it.
Its interesting and a blessing that we are able to greet another new year and sometimes a year seems a long time.But to me it is a new year to be enjoyed and treasured and also an opportunity to continue to be able to do the things we love .It is important that as we grow older to value time and the people around us and also realize that time is not on our side and whilst we have it to make the best out of it and continue to face life with hope and optimism and to enjoy what we have and be grateful for still having this opportunity.
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