A freak accident

Sometimes things seem to happen for no apparent reason.I was back home early one day and spent some quality time with my grandson in the back room.We had planned to have dinner outside that evening and since that was the plan I decided to leave the office early .Mum was free and had nothing to do since the little fella was under my care.
Suddenly I heard  her calling me from outside and on coming out I saw her sitting on the chair somewhat dazed and it was only when she spoke that I realized what had happened.She told me " I crashed my car, whacked the gate and damaged your car ".Then I took a look and lo and behold her car was damaged , the auto gate was open and my car had a huge dent on it .I was speechless and my first thought was to see if anything happened to her.Thank God she was ok and then slowly when she calmed down I asked her what happened .
She said she wanted to reverse her car which was parked in the porch a little bit and suddenly she could not stop it and the car just crashed through the gate and that was what happened .probably she stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake and the car just kept on reversing and the more she panicked the more she accelerated .This is not uncommon as there were many cases of people stepping on the accelerator instead of the brakes in times of panic.Fortunately she was not hurt.
A human being can only do so much .On reflection one cannot help but wonder if she is doing too much and the stress and tiredness is taking its toll.To wash, cook , iron , clean and babysit is really beyond the means of any normal human being but she does all these without a murmur as to her there is nothing she would not do for her family.But there should be some kind of limits .That being so we sometimes fail to realize that the human body has its limits and things are taken for granted.
So much sacrifices have to be made and so much tiring chores have to be done all all for the sake of the family.Nothing is asked for in return as to a mother no sacrifice is too great .She has often mentioned that doing all the things she does is not a big deal and the only thing she asks for is a bit of consideration now and then like making efforts to come home one day in the week so that she can go out early instead of having to drive in the dark and ensuring that the others who depend on her too are taken care of.
There are times when young people have to focus on their careers .We understand that but surely if your work is flexible some kind of arrangement can be made on certain days ( not everyday ) of the week .It is nor right when one member of the family stresses herself out when the other one is happily ignorant or uncaring about his responsibilities.Coming home early and eating together saves a lot of trouble as she need not wait for the latecomer to finish his dinner ( at his own pace ) before she can wash the dishes .This is consideration >If I have to come home late everyday because of exigencies of service I would rather eat out than be a burden to everyone else.That is the difference between the caring and non caring person who only thinks of his own well being and seems to be in a world of his own without realizing there are others around him..
She felt bad about the damage to my car and even offered to pay for the repairs.I told her not to worry about that and I would never let her do that.To me , the fact that nothing happened to her is worth all the money in the world.The incident is an eye opener to everyone that we should not impose too much on any one person>Little things which we can do to help must be done.Whilst we all have our job the person who has a brighter career path must be given the opportunity to pursue her career whilst the other party should help out in the household chores.To see one party going out of the way to help whilst the other does nothing is quite annoying to say the least.As adults we need no be told to take our shower or to carry out the little tasks assigned to us .If you cannot be of help at least do not be a liability.After all it takes every member of the family to build a home.

Character

The Oxford dictionary defines character as " the particular combination of qualities in a person that makes him different from others ".Looking at many people it seems difficult to find someone who can be said to have character.My perception of character can be summarized under different headings :
1. Personality .
Do you have the charismatic type of personality which will make people take notice of you ? Do you have what it takes to be outstanding in terms of people's perception of you ?
2.Grooming .
It is important that we look presentable to others at all times as you are what you look.That is why people spend a lot of money to make  themselves look good . the discerning person would size you up to a certain extent just by looking at you .As one would say " first impressions are important " though later on one may find that the first impression may not necessarily be the correct impression.There are people whose philosophy is "as long as i have clothes on my body it is good enough for me ".True if you live by yourself and do not come into contact with others >Humility is good but over humility may be difficult to be accepted in a critical society.
3.Self management and self standards.
What standards to we set for ourselves ? What is our personal branding ? Are we known for our reliability ? our punctuality ? efficiency ? knowledge ? our neatness ? our consideration ? etc.
It is good to be recognised and associated with some unique qualities.I have a few friends whom I have come across whom I know and acknowledge for their concern for others, , their diligence , their willingness to help and make sacrifices and their willingness to help .
If you cant even manage your time by being punctual and organized then you are not much to spaek of.
4.Responsibility and proactive.
Do you need to be reminded of the things which you do as a matter of routine and do you look one step ahead ? If you do the same thing everyday and still cant do it well then you must be lacking in something.If you have to arrive at your office at a certain time everyday and if you cant do it something is wrong .
5. Self  improvement .
We all have our share of bad habits .This is quite normal as no man is perfect but if are being told your bad habits and you make no effort to improve but keep on repeating the same bad habits then you are lacking.We do get feedback from various sources almost every day.Do we listen and do we register ? Are we sensitive to feed back? Do we analyse and work towards self improvement >

There are many things which determines one's character and its up to us to think of what are the things we need to consider for others to define us as a person with character whom others can look up to.I have only indicated a few of the character traits which are important >iam sure thare are lots of other traits which one may want to include.

Reflections

When I look at my grandchildren I cannot help but feel they are of a different breed from us.When we were young , we learned to be independent at an early age .There were six of us in our family, brothers and sisters and our parents were struggling to bring us up.We had to fend for ourselves and no one needs to tell us when to shower , get ready for school or do our homework.If we did not do our homework the teachers would deal with us.
We were rough and tough,swimming in the river ( and getting caned for it ) , drinking water from the tap and just having three meals a day ( in the house ).We never knew what was Mac D or KFC or even what coca cola tasted like.But we grew up just like any kid our age at that time and we were street wise and knew how to be independent.Our parents need not worry about us getting lost or not making our way to school and coming home after that.We never saw doctors when we were not well .The good thing about being sick was that you had the luxury of having an apple or two as it was believed that eating apples would make you get well faster.
We had no TV or hand phones or even toys.Our toys were made from what we got from the surroundings and we had fun with them.There were no cinemas and it was only in the 50s that we were able to get our first taste of watching movies in the cinema.Yet , without all these we grew up to be knowledgeable, smart and most important of all independent knowing how to take care of our things.We only had two sets of clothes for school and there was no such thing as going anywhere during holidays.To us holidays were day off, sleep late and just loaf around.We never thought of sleeping in nice beds with air con and fans.To us our bed was the camp bed which was a piece of canvas cloth strung over a couple of wooden support.It did not take up much space and could be easily stored.
Yes life was simple those day .Our needs were basic ,the staple food was rice and those days two plates of rice going down with curry or sambal belachan was a great meal .I remember how after school we would come home and wait for the chicken to lay eggs and the moment this was done we would take the egg and break it over a plate of hot rice and then mix it up with lard and soya sauce and that would make a great meal , more so if you chew on a piece of green chillies.
Our lives in the early days were basic and we grew up mainly on our own and that perhaps is why we older generation are tougher more resilient than the young people of today .