Strategies

During the time when China was made up of many independent war lords all fighting to be the one and only leader many wars and battles were fought.Each warlord would have his master strategist who though not a general would plan the war strategies for his master.Of course success or failure would then depend on the mind of the strategist.What strikes me is that these people who served under all kinds of masters were not afraid of contradicting the thoughts of the master and were never afraid of giving their opinions.Some of them lost their heads if they served under an unreasonable master .Nevertheless ,they spoke without fear or favour and believed it was their responsibility to do so even though it might have cost them their lives. Lesson learned: Never be afraid to speak your mind or voice your opinions.It is always the test of a person's mettle ,whether he is one who says what he thinks people want to hear or what he feels he should say. Of course there is a fine line between being blunt and straight forward .Things though they should be mentioned can be done in different ways .Look at the art of communication...there are many way s to go about saying something.Bluntness can hurt people's feelings but diplomacy would always lead to a win win situation.Management theories tell us that when you need to tell somebody off you have to but before he leaves you his self esteem must be restored. It is always good to be frank and say the right things.I would say something even though I know its going to hurt somebody's feelings rather than keep quiet about it and suffer myself.Of course it is important how you say something.Phrases like " should you not consider this ? Maybe you overlooked this ? I think you could have done this ?" are not derogatory but helps get across the message that you disagree and I think that's the way to manage a situation. Whilst its prudent to think of somebody's feelings we must also be fair to ourselves and think of our own feelings.We have our principles and if we do not live by them what are we then ?

A better person

Values have changed so much nowadays.Very often when you ask somebody what he wants out of life,the answer is often something materialistic, a bigger house , a better car, more money .You rarely hear a person say " I want to be a better person ".This is something which all people should consider .To be a better person ? How? To answer these questions we need to take a good look at ourselves and ask do we have what it takes to be a better person,I mean a better person from what we are now? Look at Character ...do we have it ? Are we caring, considerate,well mannered ,knowledgeable,open minded and socially adaptable ?.We need to look at ourselves from these perspectives to ascertain if we have Character and it is character which we find sometimes lacking today.We do come across people who are incapable of carrying out an intelligent conversation or share some interesting knowledge.I was happy the other day to meet up with one of my former students who is now a veterinary doctor in Canada and we had a good knowledge filled conversation and I happened to ask him " How is it that you know so much ? And what you are telling me is really outside your field ?" And his answer " Sir, remember you taught us 'The pen is mightier than the sword '?.Wow that was long time ago but he practised this and acquired the knowledge to make himself an interesting person. Do we think of bettering ourselves in this respect ? Its sad to see some people so lacking in social etiquette .They do not know simple table manners and gentlemen do not seem to know how to be chivalrous any more.We seldom see a guy holding a lady's hand when crossing a busy road or doing a simple thing like taking food for her>Too many people eat with their mouths full and talk too and too many people dont know simple table etiquette .Should we not try to improve on this ? A social conversation to a large extent will tell us what sort of a person you are.Do you contribute intelligently to a social conversation ? Do we know how to listen ? Another area for us to dwell on in order to be a better person. Dressing and personal grooming are things which will help make us better persons ."You are what you look like".Today its sad to see young people throwing dress code to the wind.Discerning people will look at you from top to bottom and form opinions about you from the way you dress and your personal grooming.Learn to better yourself in these respects . To be a better person is challenging and you can be a better person from so many different perspectives and in order to realise this we really need to take a step back and have a good look at ourselves because at the end of the day it is what sort of a person you are that really matters !

Life as a senior citizen.

As we go through our golden years ,suddenly it dawns on us that we have gone through a lot to be where we are today.Looking at our children and grandchildren we realise that today we have more time to give to them as we are no longer slaves to time and the demands of our jobs. Being at this age frees you from all the worries which we see the younger ones go through today.Its a blessing to be free of all the encumbrances which comes with living.No need to worry about budgeting or saving and each day when you open your eyes and see daylight there is the gratitude which comes from you being given another day. We do not realise that seniors enjoy quite a lot of benefits.I never expected that some one would give up his seat for me or that so many people call me "Uncle'. That shows that society still has some thought and consideration for the seniors.Though sometimes we do not realise that we have aged a look at the mirror every now and then will remind us that we cant fight time but then what is wrong with growing old and enjoying your golden years ? When we were young we were so wrought up with our mission of discovering ourselves and making a life for our family that we had little time for anything else.Perhaps we missed the real joy of seeing our children growing up or spending more time with each other as a family.Today, we try to make sure that we have enough time with the grandchildren and we certainly do not want to miss out on the joys of watching them grow mentally and physically. As seniors we have found peace of mind and a sense of contentment knowing that we have done all that we can do and now its a matter of just living the remaining years of our life the way we want it to be lived.There is no longer a feeling of wanting to achieve anything because we know we do not have the time or opportunity to do so.We have our share of regrets but we no longer sit and fret over it .There is the peace of mind which all the money in the world cannot buy.Our needs have become more simple and accommodating and there is no longer the envy of what others have and we do not.No more hankering for food or travel .What is important is to have the time to do what you could not do before. Many seniors would spend their time in pursuit of the hobbies which they did not have time to do in their younger days.Gardening is a popular hobby as the seniors claim that pottering in the garden is good for the soul and is also a healthy way to pass time. Some places do give specials to seniors.There is a golf club in KL which ha s special offers for seniors twice a week and another one which gives you a red flag that enables you to go onto the fairway ( most clubs dont allow buggies onto the course)so sometimes when we play golf its nice to know that there are clubs which do give due consideration for seniors. There is I guess only one little thing which bothers all seniors and that is when do you go and how do you go?But accepting that fact that this is something beyond your control we just have to enjoy the remaining years of our life as best as we can and be grateful that we are healthy and not a burden to our loved ones !

The buka puasa problem

I have ,on looking back ,come to realise that I have lost a number of my Muslim friends after the fasting period.Then the realization that the fasting concept is wrongly practised and this may have led to their health problems.You see, in the day you fast and the body is deprived of food and water.There is the religious aspect of fasting which i shall not dwell into but from the health point of view if you dont eat the whole day and then upon breaking fast you like kind of make up for lost time then the body is treated violently and it may not be able to take it. The sensible thing is when you break fast to just start with a little bit and then if you still feel like eating carry on but moderately. There are many kiasu people who just because they pay for the Buka Puasa Dinner want to get their money's worth so they tend to consume a lot of additional food.You should not think of what you have paid for the Buka Puasa food but take it as a reward for yourself for abstaining the whole day and also from the religious point of view you have been able to fulfil the requirements of your religion.Eating then takes on new meanings .... I came across some non Muslim friends who pay for the Buka Puasa food and they say they will sit there until closing time as they have paid for the food and should get their money's worth.Sad to see people with such shallow thinking and who are really so ignorant about the reasons for fasting. Because of this sudden surge in food intake people tend to develop heart problems and you will note the frequency of heart attacks during this period which should never happen if people just look at the rationales for fasting and how the after fasting food intake should be.

Buka Puasa or Breaking Fast

The month of Ramadan to the Muslims is a holy month.Its the time of the year when they fast to remind them not to be humanly weak and to also appreciate the blessings of God.In the early days I remember going to my Muslim's friends house to break fast with them .It was great seeing them break their fast and the lady of the house serving simple dishes>There was great fellowship as we ate together and after that sat down by the open air in the house and sipped coffee or tea and just chatted away. The concept of fasting is wonderful as it deprives you of food the whole day and your body is cleansed so that you become more aware of the spiritual aspects of life. I enjoyed going to different friends houses to break fast together with them and the feeling of fellowship was strong cutting across race ,religion and creed.It was the time to strengthen the friendship and understanding>To us, non Muslims it was an eye opener as we learnt more about Islam and the meaning and rationale behind fasting. Today the practice of breaking fast has taken a new twist,you have the lavish Buka Puasa buffets in hotels , clubs and restaurants.I wonder whether this is good or not but to my non Muslim mind the very purpose of fasting seems to have been lost.You should not deprive yourself of food the whole day and then suddenly splurge and maybe overeat at the end of the day.And what is worse look at the amount of wastage.Surely this would defeat the purpose of fasting ? Its not uncommon to find vendors charging exorbitant sums for this buffet and people being what they are will want to eat their money's worth ,hence the kiasu and overeating syndrome.Where is the moderation and gratitude that comes with fasting? There is nothing like the simple breaking fast that should bring families and friends together.I would rather appreciate family members chipping in and breaking fast together as this will definitely strengthen family bonds for after all in normal times how often do families eat together ? From the business point of view most food vendors will take this opportunity to make big profits and I just wonder how does this jive in with the fasting objectives? In the kampongs perhaps you will see the gathering of people to break fast together .The food need not be lavish but the gathering of families and friends certainly has more meaning ....

Lessons from the Olympics

Today the world is engrossed in the going ons of the Olympics where athletes from all over the world to pit their prowess against each other in their quest to win the gold medal. If we were to reflect a bit we would want to know the history of the Games which dates back to 776 BCE and what led to its beginning.The Games has its linkage to ancient mythology and it involves names like Hercules.Zeus ,and other mythological figures.Nevertheless it was a Frenchman who initiated the start of the modern day Olympics because he saw that one of the reasons why the French troops were defeated was because they lacked vigour and this made him see the value of exercise as a means of keeping the body fit and able to carry out strenuous tasks.hence the bid to get nations together to enable the young people to have a reason be be good in their field and be fit enough to excel in it. The first modern day Olympics took place in Athens in the year 1896 and since then it has grown in status and meaning to all countries and athletes .It makes you wonder what these young people had to go through in order to compete at this level.Looking at them and the way they have developed their bodies makes you realise that this did not come about by accident.Look at the physique of the swimmers,runners to name just a couple would make you appreciate the hours of hard work which must have surely gone into them be able to come out like that.To devote that kind of physique needs discipline, commitment and an unwavering sense of purpose.This, an important lesson for us...that to be anywhere good or worthy we need to be disciplined and be prepared for hard work.This is what separates the men from the boys. The Olympics is all about achievement and bringing glory to oneself and country.In the olden days an athlete would be so proud to just represent his country and if he does win a medal for his country nothing would make him prouder.Today victory is nor only for oneself and country but also the monetary benefits which come with success>Its perhaps something to think about when the Games come down to that.In the early days other than winning medals the Games offered an opportunity for young people from all parts of the world to meet in healthy competition and fellowship.Goodwill and better international relations were achieved through this.Its heartening to see athletes from countries with different ideologies coming together in the spirit of friendship.Yes,the Games teach us to be open minded and ready to set aside colour,creed and religion in the spirit of sports.Its an eye opener to see losers congratulating the winners and the winners consoling the losers.This is sportsmanship where the sports spirit can rise above petty human inclinations. So watching the Games with all its intensities and fierce competition spare a little thought and look beyond what you see.The Olympics is not just about winning its goals go far beyond this.!

A great loss !

Its always painful when you lose someone who is like a brother to you.My brother in law ( I always refer to him as this though he is actually my wife's)passed away after a long battle with cancer.He should not have gone this way because he was always so health conscious and careful with his lifestyle. I have nothing but the highest respect for him from the early days when I married my wife till now a span of more than forty years.I have always admired his determination in life .He worked for the govt. at one time but made it a point to get his degree which he did through distance learning from the University of London. His singularity of purpose in life is amazing.He never failed in what he set out to do.The only thing he did not manage to do (and I used to tease him on this ) was to play golf though he tried very hard.That aside ,he was a self made man getting little assistance from any one in his quest to succeed in life .Of course in the early days there was always his wife who stood by him through thick and thin. Their marriage was blessed with 3 lovely daughters who grew up to be his gems in his life.He was a doting father and would give his children whatever he could and its heartening to see the bond between father and children.He loved not only his children but mine and others' too.Whenever we went to Spore he would make sure that my own children were treated well. His only vice ,I should say passion was eating something which he really enjoyed.Eating a meal with us was always a lavish affair with him making sure that we got the best food he could get.We were always humbled by his generosity and the way he treated us.We loved him not because of this but because of the qualities which he displayed as a man from so many perspectives.He did well in life but was never snobbish or proud.He would always make it a point to think of others like he is one of the few men that I know who would go to the market and come back with loads of food for the family.He loved to eat and made sure others shared with him. He would go to the market everyday and take the trouble to buy the necessities back.Carrying the stuff back was no easy task but he did this willingly and happily.If we drove down to Spore he would make sure that our car was loaded with fruits ( The best he could get). He did what he had to do and I must say did it well.To him family was everything and in his life he made sure that all his children are well taken of even after they were married and had families of their own.He always walked tall because he had never done wrong in his life and had given so much not in terms of money alone but in terms of how to live life as we go along.He was very " Chinese" and held fast to Chinese beliefs and philosophy and tried by his very own example to pass this on to others. Its not easy to come across a man of his calibre who really had so much character.We will miss Uncle Chao and may his soul RIP and to his family all I can say is that "Be happy that he has gone to a better place " and he has done what every man should be proud to do and he did it all His Way !