Salute the housewife !

Mum once said " Dont think I'm not working . I work as a housewife and that is a full time job". I would not dispute that at all .Of late I have been observing her daily schedule and believe me , our work is nothing compared to hers.One never realizes the thousand and one things a housewife has to do until one has the empathy and good sense to appreciate it. Just look at the schedule: 1.Monday to Friday. Wake up at 5.30 am. Sweeps the floor, put the clothes in the washing machine and arranges all the things in the house neatly. Little grandchild comes in at around 640 am and its full time with him. 7.30 am takes the little fella out for his morning walk and be back by around 8,prepares his milk and then up to the bedroom for his morning nap. If I'm around I look after the little fella while she hurriedly has her breakfast or if I ta pau for her she has to wait for the little fella to sleep before she can have her breakfast. During the short time the child is asleep she will iron the clothes , or wash the dirty ones and after that take them out for drying. When the little one is awake , she is with him all the time and in between try to steal a bit of time to prepare the dinner stuff. I'm not sure if she has her lunch. After lunch time the little fella goes off for his afternoon nap and she has a bit of rest too. By 330 he is up and she looks after him till around 445 when the mum comes home. If you think that her day is over you are wrong because immediately after this she prepares dinner and by the time the first shift diners are finished she goes with me to fetch the other grandchild.And after that see that he has his dinner and helps him with whatever home work the school gives him. a little bit of breather before the last shift diners come back at around 8 and after that the washing up and washing the clothes .The next task will be to throw the rubbish and only when this is done will she find time to have her shower and get ready for bed. This goes on for five days and on Saturday she is free to do what she likes with her buddies.Come Sunday she leaves early for the week's marketing and after that its sorting out the things bought and then preparing the night's dinner.And again after that cleaning up again. This does not include the house cleaning, the washing and ironing of clothes and sorting out the household things. A housewife's work is multi and she has to be an all rounder, nanny, cook, cleaner , purchaser,etc.It takes a remarkable lady to be able to do all this and do it efficiently.Yet another thing is to be able to do all these things tirelessly and not complain about the work. What seems to be such a tiring job for many is carried out unselfishly.Yet one thing that strikes me is that we seem to take her for granted and do not have the empathy to realise that without her around our life would be so much more difficult.Yet we do not give her the due appreciation. A word of thanks , a word of appreciation, a little thought for her tiredness and a little effort to make her tasks a bit lighter would make so much difference.On my part I always try to make sure that she has time to eat and rest and whatever grumblings she has are taken in the right spirit for I believe she has earned the right to be grumpy and " naggy" and I would just let her let off steam. A housewife, a mother, a grandmother,an in law and a wife all in one is never easy to find. She carries out all her chores happily and rarely complains about the difficulty of the job and all these are carried out because of her love for everyone, her consideration for everyone and above all her mission to make life easier for everyone .We should think of how to make our feelings for her felt.To appreciate without telling is not complete.Tell and show that we appreciate what she is going for all of us and say and do the little things which will make her feel that all her efforts are not in vain.

Random thoughts

Of late my opinion and perception of things seems to have become slightly different. 1.Food. Eating is not a big issue now.Convenience and time saving eating places are of prime importance.What we eat is not that important but whom we eat with matters.With today's lifestyle its quite difficult to have the whole family sitting down for dinner at any one time.Our home eating schedule is quite unique i would say. The first shift will be ready by 530 pm , the second at around 6.15 and the last shift around 8 pm.I would normally take the first shift as the food is hot and just out of the kitchen but my system has not adjusted to this yet so usually its just a couple of spoons of rice and more on the side dishes. This is a far cry from the time when I was young.Then, dinner involved the whole family and we could only eat when dad sits down but all of us ate together and this was the time when the siblings and parents engaged in useful conversation.Logistics was also easy , as the meal was cooked and everyone ate at the same time.This also made cleaning up so much more simple.You can imagine the difficulty in having to cook for 3 different shifts and also the hassle of cleaning up.The lady of the house is only free after 8pm after the last shift is over.I suppose this is the price we pay because everyone is so busy with the rat race that the basic family activity is jeopardized. 2.Communication. People live in the same house but I cant help but feel that they tend to talk less.This is probably because people are less patient , tired and dont know how to communicate anymore.Practice makes perfect but if you cannot engage in a conversation with the right attitude then communication breaks down and we are reduced to a generation of gadget fiends who would happily play our games or serve the net whilst in the company of others. In my young days there were no such gadgets , not even Tv so it was the norm after dinner for everyone to sit in the living room and just chat away.By the way herein the meaning of the words " Living Room". We communicate basically to share knowledge, opinions or to inform and discuss things.Once we do not want to do this anymore then communication breaks down and the " Living Room " does not serve its purpose anymore.Its painful to see people impatient and get angry whilst talking over trivial matters.Just because some one says something you do not like to hear or asks for clarification there is no need to show faces or worse still get angry.What is happening to our society ? Dont we talk anymore ? Cant we accept questions or a different opinion ? Cant we participate in conversation with the true spirit of communication ? 3.Values As always there are times when we ask the question how to balance tradition with modern values ? I consider myself old fashioned in some ways because I always believe that some of the traditional values are well worth preserving as they enable us to be better persons.Respect for the elders is important but this value seems to be dying out today.Where in the olden days the elders were also consulted before anything was done, today they are considered as insignificant or not competent enough to have their opinions considered seriously. I love the way the young show their respect to the elders in the olden days.They would be greeted and served whenever possible and children were obedient and filial to their elders.How much of this do we see being practiced today ? 4.Children. During our time we would always allocate some time for the children especially during the holidays.It was a joy for us to see our kids embark on their journey of discovery and to watch them growing up.Today , as we watch our grandchildren growing up we realize that for us its rediscovering the joys of parenthood all over again.Watching them take their first steps,uttering their first words and their fascination at discovering new things are things which no parents should miss for if you miss it you will never get to experience it again with the same child.Money and work are not everything in life....sadly many people do not realize this. 5. Character. Too often we are so wrapped up in our daily life that we forget to take a good look at ourselves.A simple exercise would be to take a piece of paper and try to write down what you think of yourself. A little SWOT analysis will tell you so much more of yourself.And knowing yourself then ask yourself " Can I improve ?" " Can I be a better person ?"

Being a teacher !

It was partly due to the Lasalle Brothers that I decided to choose to become a teacher.While in school we were taught by this group of dedicated teachers mainly from Ireland.They loved the children and they loved their work.Gentle, patient , knowledgeable and tolerant, they were excellent role models.As kids we looked up to them and it played a huge role in our future choice of careers. In a way I became a teacher as a stepping stone to my aim at that time ...to get a university education.My parents could not afford to put me through university and I knew that if I wanted it I had to find my own way.Providence helped , for as soon as I completed my Form 6 , there was a post for a History teacher in Teluk Intan which was offered to me through an old friend Tan Sri Khoo Kay Kim and which I readily accepted.Finished the 6th Form exams in December and by January I was on my way to Teluk Intan to embark on my teaching career. I estimated that if I taught for 1 1/2 years I should have saved enough for the university.This being achieved off I went to the University.The short stint I had as a temporary teacher made me realise that this was what I wanted to do...to stand in front of the class and give them knowledge.In between teaching we also had the chance to guide them to become " better people" and instill in them strong moral values.I was really hooked on being a teacher as teachers at that time were respected members of the society and more importantly we were able to nurture our students to become right thinking people. I have been a teacher all my life and to this day I have no regrets.True, teaching does not make us rich but we had the privilege of educating the young and today in Kl I have met with a number of my former students who are themselves in middle age category and it makes my heart swell with pride when I hear them speak good English and are strong up right people .Many of them are professionals and what really touches me is that they never forget their teachers and despite all the caning, scoldings which we gave them they never held any grudges against us.Instead they are grateful and many of them will thank us and say they would not be where they are if not for us teachers.Money cannot buy this kind of feeling and perhaps this is one of the reasons why we teachers never place money on top of our priority list. I have always taught my students one thing which I still hold fast to." You may be rich, successful, famous but if you do not have CHARACTER you are nothing " Today I am still teaching sometimes in a different way .The other day I was playing golf with an old boy of mine and he asked me some pertinent questions about the way he played and I analyzed his game as best as I can and at the end of the day gave him some pointers and after that he said " Sir, you taught me 30 years ago and today you are still teaching me .Thank you Sir " I was really touched and am glad that I chose to become a teacher.I may not be rich but my wealth lies in the many students whom we guided through life >Money cant buy this just as all the money in the world cannot buy what we have when we spend quality time with our family.

Watching the kids grow up

Today's young parents are so wrapped up in the rat race that they have really not much time for anything else.We teachers are different because when we were teaching we only worked half a day and had time for other things after school.The more enterprising ones ran tuition classes and made some extra pocket money ( sometimes more than their salary ).We had time on our hands and part of this time was spent on the children, watching them go through the various stages of life and prodding them along the way. After the children grew up they became adults in their own rights and made their own homes for their own families .As grandparents now we are required to help them look after their kids and having gone through the rat race we are able to fully concentrate on the little grandchildren We are blessed to be able to follow the growth of our 3 grandchildren to see them grow from infancy to where they are now.The two elder ones are already quite independent and moving on to their school life where we hope the teachers can enrich them in terms of knowledge and values.It is a joy to be able to see them grow and develop from babies, crawling, walking uttering their first few words and basically making the parents proud every step of the way.When they come to school age we can see the character formation period happening.They reason, argue ,question and begin to show their traits.A lot of understanding child psychology , child development is necessary to help them through this stage. Yes, parents will enjoy watching their children grow up but we must not forget that we as parents have important roles to play in the child's growing up process.To balance our time for the kids with what we have to do is not that easy.responsible parents will have to learn to strike a balance here , how to cope with the demands of their work and their responsibility in bringing up their children.This is never an easy task and represents one of the challenges of parenthood which can be a joy or nightmare depending on how we handle it.