Year End Happenings and Reflections

Our third daughter finalized her wedding Chinese style finally.It makes us happy to see the wedding rites completed and what greater joy than to see her radiance on her wedding dinner.We have another son in law and consider ourselves blessed with yet another addition to the family.The sad thing is that they are in different parts of the world and we only get to see them occasionally .As parents we have no choice as the children are old enough to make their own decisions and get on with their own lives.What matters to us is that they are happy and contented with their lives. As we look back we realise that we are fortunate to be able to live through all these.To see our children become adults, wives and mothers and what is more important to be able to enjoy our grandchildren . When I look at my contemporaries I really feel lucky to be in good health,to be able to live with my wife ,children and grandchildren.Yes,we have come a long way.As I remember when my wife chose me as her husband ( I dont really know why !) we had nothing except our feelings for each other.I did not even own a bicycle and had no money in the bank but we were bold enough to take the step forward,to face the future together and to make the commitment to raise a family together.God has been kind,I have had an interesting career not making big money but making big in being able to contribute to the development of our youth.Today I will have students occasionally telling me what a difference I made in their lives as a teacher and that is a big enough satisfaction. Today too , in our golden years mum and I share an even stronger bond , a bond brought about by love,togetherness and above all understanding and tolerance.We can still talk for hours especially on the long drive from Kl to Ipoh and back and there are no holds .She can tell me anything and they are well accepted .She has been my pillar,the one who taught me a lot of Chinese values which I have learned to treasure. We often talk about our children and realise that there are times when we cannot be really open with them because they do not like our intrusion into their lives which is fair enough.We have learned to comment ,give opinions only when asked to do so and not interfere .Its funny to realise that when they were young we could say anything to them but not today as children feel they are grown up and really do not relish any comments or advice from the parents.So we follow the cardinal rule,speak when required ,keep your opinions to yourselves unless asked for and accept the fact that your children look at you differently.Of course our children love us but in their own way so we have no grounds to complain except to realise that the situation is different from the time when we could tell them what to do or discipline them .As elders we have learned to cope with the changing scenario and it is this ability that enables us to live in harmony with our children. Some parents whom I know of still insist on imposing their will on their children leading the children to feel frustrated and in a state of dilemma .Parents must come to grip with reality and children must realise that as parents grow older they become more sensitive. As the year comes to an end we realise that our mission in life is completed.There may be some regrets over the things which we could not do but overall we have done what we should do the best way we can.