Beyond the wedding dinner

Today not many people give another thought about the invitation to a wedding dinner other than the eating.But if we pause a little and think about the significance there is much more to just the eating.It starts with the invitation. To the Chinese ,if someone respects you by inviting you then you should reciprocate by accepting the invitation.To refuse is impolite and if you are a close relative its even worse because you do not know the value of the word 'Family' and that makes you quite uncultured. The wedding dinner is the time for relatives especially and good friends to gather and meet and share the joy of the newly weds.You do not meet your relatives and friends very often so when you have occasions like this they should not be passed.Relatives and friends will take the trouble to come from near and far to attend. In between the dinner there will be the tea ceremony a very significant tradition amongst the Chinese.The couple will serve tea to all the relatives.The tea serving has two reasons.One is to let the relatives know that they are now a couple and the family consists of the bride and the groom's family.The second is that due respect is given to the family.To the Chinese family is important and this is one of the ways to preserve the Chinese family values.People who do not know this will shy away from weddings of close relatives for the simple reason that they do not value family ties or they are so ignorant that they cannot see beyond the food. Today most invitations are well in advance of the event so there is no excuse that you have no time.The gathering of relatives and friends is also a time when all little and petty grudges are set aside and everyone makes an effort to restore harmony and good will.Its just like our Chinese New Year tradition where we make calls on our elders and pay them due respect. Chinese tradition and culture dates back thousands of years and if you are Chinese enough you will appreciate why these traditions are still practised today.One should make an effort to study Chinese history for it is through this that you can be really Chinese and understand why certain things are done by the Chinese .this is especially so in the case of Chinese attitude towards Family and what it takes to be a family member !Forsake this and you forsake yourself !