Honour thy father and mother

Today Chinese all over the world converge on to the cemeteries and pay homage to their forefathers .They do so in so many forms ,some simple with just a few joss sticks and some simple offerings in the form of fruits and paper money, others lavishly with roast pigs ,roast chicken and paper houses and cars and etc.Today the amount and types of such things in the market is mind boggling .This is to make the living happy that they can offer all these things to the departed. The symbols aside Ching Ming is a day set aside for the Chinese to pay their respects to the dearly departed and also a chance for family members to gather together in family unity brought together by a common bond.It is heartening to see the living descendants gather at the grave yard and its a kind of get together amongst family members to remember their parents, grandparents.The Chinese are very sensible people ,although Ching Ming falls on the 4th April this year they can do the pilgrimage to the graves one week before and one week after the actual date.This is to suit the schedule of the busy living ones and it gives all family members a chance to fix a date convenient to everyone. According to Chinese custom only the male descendants are obliged to do Ching Ming,the females are not.But if they so decide they have to do it for the male's side>it does not really makes sense>i have 4 daughters and does it mean that when I go they need not come to my grave but when their father in law dies they have to? To me there should be no such division ,as long as you feel that you want to remember the dead you do so.I have always been to my mother and father in laws graves without fail every year and I do that because I knew them and they were good to me so what's the rubbish about sons in law not having to do it for their in laws.My wife and I have this mutual respect for each other's parents.She follows me to may parents graves and I do the same when she goes to her parent'.So what is the big deal? Why is it that the male cannot go to the girl's side and why the female must follow the husband's? It is sad when you go to a graveyard during this place and see some graves which are badly neglected and obviously unattended for many a year and we wonder who is the poor soul who lies forgotten by his descendants. It is good to remember our ancestors for they gave us life and brought us to this world for better or for worse.If a man cannot remember his roots and remember his forefathers ,to me he has no soul and should take a good look at himself !