Lessons in Life (Part 1)

We learn a lot from everyone who have touched our lives in one way or other and it is not surprising that some of the things we learned have formed part of what we are today.My earliest mentors were of course my parents.Dad was unique.I have never come across a man with so simple needs in life,a man who did everything for his family.I have never remembered seeing him lose his cool or get angry. He kept very much to himself when he had problems and would seldom share his thoughts with any one of us.From him I learned patience,sacrifice,self control,family love and above all to be satisfied with what we have and not dream of things which we do not have.Dad in his simple way was a contented man.Though living hand to mouth he never bemoaned the fact that we had little of the good things in life.He was contented to be an office and home man with very little opportunity to indulge.The thing that struck me was that despite this he was happy and perhaps the times when he was not so was when he could not give my mum what she wanted ie more money. My mum was a petite little nyonya with the ferocity of a tigress.She was known as that amongst our neighbours .She loved gambling ( ironically it was dad who taught her how to play mahjong )and was a strict disciplinarian.From her we learned discipline, to respect the elders and to never dispute their opinion.From he we learned to be fighters ,the never say die attitude.Despite her addiction to gambling mum never neglected her duties as a wife and mother.She would make sure that there was a hot meal for us everyday.She was a good cook and all the nyonya dishes were cooked by her.Though poor she would never fail to provide us with a good spread for the Reunion Dinner and she made sure that the traditional dishes were always there.Perhaps this is one of the reasons why till today I would still insist that The Reunion Dinner is eaten at home.I never believe that this occasion should be commercialised and people eat in restaurants lose the meaning of the Reunion.My dad and mum were great role models for us . My own wife taught me a lot of things which have in one way or other made me what I am today.You cannot live with somebody for more than 40 years without having gained something valuable.She taught me to be more Chinese and this is why till today I am a nut for Chinese history movies>Being Chinese means to be more aware ,sensitive ,understanding about Chinese history,values and traditions.Through her I learned more about things like Ching Ming,the various Chinese festivals.She taught me about family ties.To her parents, siblings are of the same blood and must be loved and honoured.Never say anything negative about her siblings ,she is fiercely protective about them and this is quite understandable because she looked after them when they were young.She learned to be independent at an early age cos the father left them at at early age and she learned to be the head of the family together with all its responsibilities at the time when she was still a teen. A tough lady by any standards ,from her we learned the meaning of sacrifice,endurance,loyalty,filiality and lots of other things>This aside she taught me to be more tolerant,more forgiving and not to think bad about others.She would treat anyone as her friend ,the pork seller,the vegetable seller and the fish monger too.She looked at people as human beings and would spend time talking to the maid ,finding out more about her and teaching her valuable lessons in life. The responsibility and sacrifices of parenthood were of utmost importance to her and there is nothing she would not do for her children.She was never one to run away from problems and had the resilience to see anything through.Sometimes I just wonder where she gets all her energy from .We are lucky to have her as a wife,mother ,grandmother and as some of my sons- in law would agree a mother in law.