2010 is coming to an end.As usual when something comes to an end its a time for reflections and thoughts of things to come.For me the first thing that comes to mind is gratitude that I have survived another year together with all my loved ones.Life is fragile,I have seen a few good friends passing on ,and some coming down with old age or facing health problems.Some of my closest friends have either stopped playing golf or unable to do so.Indeed we have to be grateful that we can still do the things we have been doing.
On the work front it has been an eventful year.Hostel work is ever challenging because you are dealing with young people from all over the world ,with different cultures ,outlook and peculiarities but fairness and firmness in management will always win the day.Dealing with young people or anyone for that matter requires consideration, diplomacy,consistency,fairness and a genuine concern for their well being.I have in the course of the year counseled a fair number of residents for various offenses and they end up happy because we always give them a chance to talk and understand why what they are doing is not right and happily none of them appears before me again.Yes work is still interesting and challenging.I would not be here if it were not for this.
Travel has been less .As we grow older the desire for traveling diminishes because its stressful and tiring.Besides I have seen enough places,the US,UK,Japan,Philippines ,Europe ,China,Uzbekistan,Singapore and find that even though each country has its own unique attraction,there is actually no place like home.A lot of truth in the saying " A man roams the earth in search of happiness only to realize that he finds it in his own home".
Golf has become more challenging and I have always tried to challenge the existing paradigm that old people cannot do this and that.New friends, new golf courses ,new equipment makes the game a continuous fascination and I hope I can continue playing for at least a few more years.
Family ties have been good .Helen and Ming came back ,so did Lily and it was good to my sisters again after so long.Character wise Helen and Ming have not improved much but knowing them we tolerate ,accept and love them all the same.Wendy got her first baby and Sze and Andrew got married making us all so happy.Imn came back for the wedding and nothing makes us happier than to have all our family together.
2011 will be another year of Chinese New Year,Pai Thin Koong,Ching Ming,All Soul's Day,etc etc.We are happy and grateful that we can do yet one more round of all this.But for how long more???
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Life is so fragile...
Got the shock of my life when yesterday morning a friend called me and told me one of our golfing members Eugene passed away in SJMC of a heart attack.He was 58 years old,fit as a fiddle and such a good friend.We just could not believe it.It was so sudden and unexpected,never heard of him being sick or anything like that.He was so fit that he would fly back from Bangkok (he had his business there) on Saturday and was on the golf course with us early Sunday morning.
A nice guy,soft spoken,a true friend,a fierce golfer.why?why?
One would hardly expect this to a person like him.Heart attacks will strike anytime and anyone so we have to be on the alert all the time.It has been known to hit people in their twenties upwards and its good to learn more about this .For us older people we realise that we are living on bonus time and that we can go anytime through so many reasons.That is why when you are old enjoy life while you can, think no bad things about others,always count your blessings and be happy that you are alive and in good health.Good health is not automatic,it is something which you have to cultivate in order to get.Enough sleep,no over indulgence in anything,eat the right food ,exercise,regular check ups are all ingredients for good health.We all know this but how many of us practise it?
When someone you know suddenly passes away it sets you thinking.When is my turn?What should I do with the rest of my life?This I believe will make you a better person and look at the people around you with new perspectives.Life is short,its unpredictable so live it while you can.
RIP my good friend Eugene Tan.
A nice guy,soft spoken,a true friend,a fierce golfer.why?why?
One would hardly expect this to a person like him.Heart attacks will strike anytime and anyone so we have to be on the alert all the time.It has been known to hit people in their twenties upwards and its good to learn more about this .For us older people we realise that we are living on bonus time and that we can go anytime through so many reasons.That is why when you are old enjoy life while you can, think no bad things about others,always count your blessings and be happy that you are alive and in good health.Good health is not automatic,it is something which you have to cultivate in order to get.Enough sleep,no over indulgence in anything,eat the right food ,exercise,regular check ups are all ingredients for good health.We all know this but how many of us practise it?
When someone you know suddenly passes away it sets you thinking.When is my turn?What should I do with the rest of my life?This I believe will make you a better person and look at the people around you with new perspectives.Life is short,its unpredictable so live it while you can.
RIP my good friend Eugene Tan.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
My favorite place
The driving range at the Saujana Golf Club has become my favorite hangout.There is something about being in the driving range which makes you feel good and relaxed and it is a great stress reliever.Hitting about 100 to 200 balls gives you time to reflect on the game and takes your mind away from everything else.The view and the wind which blows into your face occasionally is so soothing and comforting.No disturbance from anybody,just the sound of clubs hitting balls .You can choose to go to one corner by yourself and just hit your balls and watch them fly into the sky or on the ground if you hit a bad shot.
It takes a lot of determination however to step into the range.At times you may be tired and since home is so near you might just want to give it a miss but the need to improve and exercise pushes you there and once there all else is forgotten.
Truly a fine place to chill out >Does not cost much and you can easily forget everything more more than an hour or even more.
It takes a lot of determination however to step into the range.At times you may be tired and since home is so near you might just want to give it a miss but the need to improve and exercise pushes you there and once there all else is forgotten.
Truly a fine place to chill out >Does not cost much and you can easily forget everything more more than an hour or even more.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Wedding
Today it is interesting to note that weddings have not changed very much especially so the Chinese ones which are steeped in tradition.It begins when two people decide to spend the rest of their lives together.In the olden days a representative from the male side would go to the girl's house to officially ask for the maiden's hand.The first visit by the rep is also accompanied by some form of gifts.
When the marriage is agreed to ,the dowry is then negotiated.It can range from huge sums of cash plus jewelery and dinners ,silken cloth and etc etc depending on the status of both families.Once this is agreed the auspicious date would be selected and thenceforth the groom and bride cannot meet.It was common in the early days for marriages to be arranged and there were not many love matches as male/female encounters were limited.
The wedding ceremony itself would involve the groom going to the bride's house with a lot of fanfare and a big delegation of supporters.Once the bride was received the couple would pay their respects to the parents and bow at the ancestral altar to get the blessings from the dearly departed.
After that its over to the groom's side where again the respects re paid to the parents and the bowing at the family altar.Then comes the wedding dinner attended by friends and relatives .It was usually lavish as the parents would want to announce to everyone that their daughter was married.The couple was expected to stay at the groom's house and the daughter in law had to be very obedient and courteous to the in laws.
Our youngest daughter got married traditionally on the 11th Dec. and we are all happy that she found the man of her choice in Andrew.As parents nothing make us happier than to see our children happily settled down.We can feel that they are compatible and hopefully Sze has made the right choice.A bit of the tradition mentioned above were followed but with some modifications.It was gratifying to see all the sisters and cousins chipping in to make sure everything went well for the little sister and they did a good job seeing that everything went on well.The distribution of work was nicely done and a fine testimony of how modern management can get things done efficiently.I believe everyone entrusted with the different tasks carried out their responsibility to the best and it was a good example of delegation of work.
Reminds me of the time when I got married.Mum was only 21 and I 27 .We had nothing ,our parents were unable to support us financially and we had to depend on ourselves.We had nothing except love and the courage to take the plunge.We did everything ourselves and there were no relatives to help us but at the end of the day we managed to survive the ceremonies and everything and after 43 years of marriage I believe we have no regrets .Life was tough for us but mum was a strong lady and through her inspiration and encouragement we made our lives into something meaningful,bringing up 4 children,educating them and seeing them become adults ready to live their lives on their own.A sterling example of team work...mum always believed that the woman should be one step behind the man and the house chores should be done by the lady thus giving the man his full attention to concentrate on his career.It worked well for us !
Three down and one to go and when Imn gets her marriage done we can say Mission Accomplished!
When the marriage is agreed to ,the dowry is then negotiated.It can range from huge sums of cash plus jewelery and dinners ,silken cloth and etc etc depending on the status of both families.Once this is agreed the auspicious date would be selected and thenceforth the groom and bride cannot meet.It was common in the early days for marriages to be arranged and there were not many love matches as male/female encounters were limited.
The wedding ceremony itself would involve the groom going to the bride's house with a lot of fanfare and a big delegation of supporters.Once the bride was received the couple would pay their respects to the parents and bow at the ancestral altar to get the blessings from the dearly departed.
After that its over to the groom's side where again the respects re paid to the parents and the bowing at the family altar.Then comes the wedding dinner attended by friends and relatives .It was usually lavish as the parents would want to announce to everyone that their daughter was married.The couple was expected to stay at the groom's house and the daughter in law had to be very obedient and courteous to the in laws.
Our youngest daughter got married traditionally on the 11th Dec. and we are all happy that she found the man of her choice in Andrew.As parents nothing make us happier than to see our children happily settled down.We can feel that they are compatible and hopefully Sze has made the right choice.A bit of the tradition mentioned above were followed but with some modifications.It was gratifying to see all the sisters and cousins chipping in to make sure everything went well for the little sister and they did a good job seeing that everything went on well.The distribution of work was nicely done and a fine testimony of how modern management can get things done efficiently.I believe everyone entrusted with the different tasks carried out their responsibility to the best and it was a good example of delegation of work.
Reminds me of the time when I got married.Mum was only 21 and I 27 .We had nothing ,our parents were unable to support us financially and we had to depend on ourselves.We had nothing except love and the courage to take the plunge.We did everything ourselves and there were no relatives to help us but at the end of the day we managed to survive the ceremonies and everything and after 43 years of marriage I believe we have no regrets .Life was tough for us but mum was a strong lady and through her inspiration and encouragement we made our lives into something meaningful,bringing up 4 children,educating them and seeing them become adults ready to live their lives on their own.A sterling example of team work...mum always believed that the woman should be one step behind the man and the house chores should be done by the lady thus giving the man his full attention to concentrate on his career.It worked well for us !
Three down and one to go and when Imn gets her marriage done we can say Mission Accomplished!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Health is wealth
You never realize how important health is until you fall sick.I was down with flu for two weeks and it was a miserable feeling.Coughing and have a weakened body with a loss of appetite made life so difficult.A blocked and running nose made sleeping difficult and many a night was spent tossing and turning.
The body is a wonderful piece of machinery and one just has to think of the many parts a body is made up of to realize the miracle that is in our body.That's why its important to take care of this machine in the best possible way.How? Every doctor will tell you,eat moderately, drink lots of water,avoid unhealthy food, have lots of rest and exercise and above all have peace of mind.We all know it yet how many of us follow such advice?Its only when you are sick that you begin to realize how important it is to keep healthy.
I had a number of medical experiences which made me realize that I want to avoid sickness.One was when I was a teenager and had to go for a hernia operation.I was operated on in a Batu Gajah hospital and spent about two weeks in the ward because I was not allowed to walk until the wound healed.The second was when I was attacked by Bell's Palsy a disease which attacked the nerves.Imagine the feeling when you wake up one morning and found that your mouth was crooked and your speech slurred.I was in my early forties at that time and the thought of being unable to work and support the family was frightening. Fortunately through a mix of Malay,Chinese and western medication and treatment I was cured and almost back to normal within a couple of months.
The latest was when I had to have a pacer put in my body because of irregular heartbeat.The operation though simple was frightening because every time you go under the operating theater you never know if you are coming out intact and to make matters worse the surgeon made a mistake the first time and had to redo the operation again.
Good health should never be taken for granted.Our body is precious and should never be abused by stress, late nights and over indulgence.A lifestyle of moderation and discipline would help you ensure that your body functions efficiently without you having to go through expensive and maybe painful medical treatment.There is a lot to be said about the old maxim "Prevention is better than cure".We tend to take too many things for granted but never lose track of the fact that good health does not happen just by itself..you have to take the necessary steps to bring it about!!!
The body is a wonderful piece of machinery and one just has to think of the many parts a body is made up of to realize the miracle that is in our body.That's why its important to take care of this machine in the best possible way.How? Every doctor will tell you,eat moderately, drink lots of water,avoid unhealthy food, have lots of rest and exercise and above all have peace of mind.We all know it yet how many of us follow such advice?Its only when you are sick that you begin to realize how important it is to keep healthy.
I had a number of medical experiences which made me realize that I want to avoid sickness.One was when I was a teenager and had to go for a hernia operation.I was operated on in a Batu Gajah hospital and spent about two weeks in the ward because I was not allowed to walk until the wound healed.The second was when I was attacked by Bell's Palsy a disease which attacked the nerves.Imagine the feeling when you wake up one morning and found that your mouth was crooked and your speech slurred.I was in my early forties at that time and the thought of being unable to work and support the family was frightening. Fortunately through a mix of Malay,Chinese and western medication and treatment I was cured and almost back to normal within a couple of months.
The latest was when I had to have a pacer put in my body because of irregular heartbeat.The operation though simple was frightening because every time you go under the operating theater you never know if you are coming out intact and to make matters worse the surgeon made a mistake the first time and had to redo the operation again.
Good health should never be taken for granted.Our body is precious and should never be abused by stress, late nights and over indulgence.A lifestyle of moderation and discipline would help you ensure that your body functions efficiently without you having to go through expensive and maybe painful medical treatment.There is a lot to be said about the old maxim "Prevention is better than cure".We tend to take too many things for granted but never lose track of the fact that good health does not happen just by itself..you have to take the necessary steps to bring it about!!!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Living with diabetes
I had been diagnosed with high sugar level in my blood.It is not something unexpected as my dad was diabetic.We only realised this after his retirement when he was eating well but losing weight.The issue was complicated by the fact he had stomach ulcers.
Knowing that one has a high sugar level puts one on the alert and hopefully with awareness the necessary precautions can be taken.
My doctor prescribed insulin injections which I refused to take as I do not want to be dependent on it for the rest of my life.The thought of jabbing yourself everyday is certainly unacceptable.I prefer to take the medication and go on a low sugar diet which means forgoing all sweet stuff like ice cream,chocolates ,cakes and all sorts of pastries and also a reduction of rice and noodles.
This coupled with exercise and lots of plain water should help control the sugar level.I cant imagine that at one time I was suffering from low sugar level,the symptoms of which are that your skin would itch whenever you face cold weather.The appearance of the high sugar level is probably due to unhealthy eating habits or hereditary of which nothing can be done.
To live with diabetes means that one has to forgo a lot of yummy sweet stuffs but through self control this should'nt be a problem.
Knowing that one has a high sugar level puts one on the alert and hopefully with awareness the necessary precautions can be taken.
My doctor prescribed insulin injections which I refused to take as I do not want to be dependent on it for the rest of my life.The thought of jabbing yourself everyday is certainly unacceptable.I prefer to take the medication and go on a low sugar diet which means forgoing all sweet stuff like ice cream,chocolates ,cakes and all sorts of pastries and also a reduction of rice and noodles.
This coupled with exercise and lots of plain water should help control the sugar level.I cant imagine that at one time I was suffering from low sugar level,the symptoms of which are that your skin would itch whenever you face cold weather.The appearance of the high sugar level is probably due to unhealthy eating habits or hereditary of which nothing can be done.
To live with diabetes means that one has to forgo a lot of yummy sweet stuffs but through self control this should'nt be a problem.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A quaint marriage tradition
Yesterday 17 Nov 2010 was a red letter day for our youngest daughter Sze.It was the day when the groom's side brought the traditional gifts as an official gesture that they are requesting for the girl's hand in marriage.The custom has evolved since the time it started.In the early days there would be a big delegation from the groom's side and they would bring all types of gifts made up of expensive silk cloth,exotic foodstuffs,gold and jewelery.The richer the groom is and the richer the lady is would determine the size and value of the dowry.
There would be a kind of procession involving the people who brought the gifts and those who were to receive them waited patiently for them to arrive.Before that there would be a negotiation from the groom's side and the bride's side regarding what would be the appropriate amount and what should the gifts be made up of.Sometimes this negotiation would end up in quarrels and before the couple even get started in life there would be dispute.
Today we leave it to the groom to bring what he felt like bringing and we never demanded a lot for our daughters because of the simple fact that we are not selling our daughters and the dowry was just a tradition to be followed.Mum and I always believed that there is no point in us asking for anything from the groom's side.What matters is the couple's happiness and that they have a good start in married life without having to incur expenditure which they can ill afford.Still tradition must be followed so we insisted on the dowry which we only took a token and returned the rest and the fruits and so on which we returned the bulk of .As mum says "Got come ,got go" in Cantonese.We did this because we wanted the other side to know that we are not selling our daughter for if we were to they will not be able to afford it because all our daughters are priceless.
Mum did a good job preparing everything in advance and the groom's representatives got a taste of her "Lum Mee" and they were really surprised that it tasted so good.After the lunch there was the small talk and tea before they left ,I believe quite happy.
The ceremony was a family affair and it was also to let both families know each other better.There is thus much to be said about our traditions which have been handed down for generations and if people can see the intrinsic value of such practices they would then find more meaning and understand why we must ensure that our traditions and practised for what are we if we do not value our traditions and heritage?
There would be a kind of procession involving the people who brought the gifts and those who were to receive them waited patiently for them to arrive.Before that there would be a negotiation from the groom's side and the bride's side regarding what would be the appropriate amount and what should the gifts be made up of.Sometimes this negotiation would end up in quarrels and before the couple even get started in life there would be dispute.
Today we leave it to the groom to bring what he felt like bringing and we never demanded a lot for our daughters because of the simple fact that we are not selling our daughters and the dowry was just a tradition to be followed.Mum and I always believed that there is no point in us asking for anything from the groom's side.What matters is the couple's happiness and that they have a good start in married life without having to incur expenditure which they can ill afford.Still tradition must be followed so we insisted on the dowry which we only took a token and returned the rest and the fruits and so on which we returned the bulk of .As mum says "Got come ,got go" in Cantonese.We did this because we wanted the other side to know that we are not selling our daughter for if we were to they will not be able to afford it because all our daughters are priceless.
Mum did a good job preparing everything in advance and the groom's representatives got a taste of her "Lum Mee" and they were really surprised that it tasted so good.After the lunch there was the small talk and tea before they left ,I believe quite happy.
The ceremony was a family affair and it was also to let both families know each other better.There is thus much to be said about our traditions which have been handed down for generations and if people can see the intrinsic value of such practices they would then find more meaning and understand why we must ensure that our traditions and practised for what are we if we do not value our traditions and heritage?
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