To the Chinese being filial is one of the most important traits a person should have.the Chinese have always believed that just as our parents must bear the responsibility of bringing us up so must we the children respect and honor them when they are with us and even when they are gone.Paying respects to your parents irrespective of whether they are around or not is an important Chinese tradition.
If you fail to do that you are being un filial and this comes with a lot of adverse effects. Some believe that if you are unfilial you will be affected by all sorts of bad feng shui and that the cycle will come back to you ie if you are not filial to your parents so will your children be to you.
There are many ways of being filial,. Amongst them is to respect your parents and listen to them.Of course , loving and honoring them are part and parcel of filial piety.Too often we take parents for granted and too often we think more of ourselves than them .Sad, but true.
We never think of the things our parents do for us when they are around and if they are gone sometimes we even forget.remembering your parents come in the form of having them in your thoughts all the time and manifesting it by paying respects to them in their final resting places.sadly enough though there are people who do not find time to visit their parents graves during All Souls'day or Ching Ming .These are annual affairs designed to allow the off springs to show their respect to their parents and if you cant even spare one day in a year for this purpose then it speaks very little of you as a person.
Young people are so wrapped up in their daily routines that they forget to think of the old people who are with them.I just wonder why on certain days they cannot be a bit early so that the elderly can get on with other chores ? Why must they be so late that by the time the poor old person leaves its already dark and dont they realize that it is a strain for old people to drive in the dark, more so if there is rain ?This is where a little consideration would go a long way and it is but one of the many ways we can show filial piety.
Today only me and mum do our filial duty by paying our respects annually to our dearly departed and it has always occurred to us that one day when we are gone will our descendants do the same from us.Judging from the trend now , looks like we have reason to be concerned but I have always told mum that once we are gone this does not matter anymore ,just the thought that after all she has done would it be to much to ask to be remembered ?
Friday, October 30, 2015
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Success and failure
Steven Covey's "7 habits of successful people " makes for interesting reading.The book has been in the market for quite some time and we discussed it at length during my learning and training days.Going through his message, it boils down to a simple premise , that before anything can happen for the better we must make changes within ourselves.To do this , an honest self analysis needs to be done .Questions like ; What are my objectives in life ? How am I going to achieve them? What are my strengths and weaknesses ? How to build on my strengths and improve on my weaknesses ?
To answer these questions and to be able to do something about them makes the difference between success and failure.
One would know about one's weaknesses surely as along the way there would have been people who have pointed them out to us in good faith.If you are proactive and sensitive you would think of how to handle these.I have noted that the are people who moan and groan about traffic jams.So ? Dont they realize that traffic jams are part and parcel of life in the city .Do they ever consider how pathetic their groans and moans seem to thinking people.? People of substance would think of how to cope with such a situation instead of moaning and groaning .If you expect pity or sympathy from people , forget it as they will only recognize how ineffective you are as a person.Life is about choices and we are blessed that we can make choices.What matters is if we know how .
Steven Covey made his point very clearly that successful people never let circumstances control them but they control the circumstances.I can give lots of examples but I feel it would be belaboring the obvious.
If you cant manage your personal life how can you manage the external forces which are part and parcel of your life ? Success comes with constant reminders , countless determination to improve and constant efforts to improve.We have our weaknesses >the difference between the successful person and the failure is the one recognizes them and keep on working to get rid of them whilst the failure just moan and groan and never bother to think of ways and means to improve.There is nothing so sickening as to tell someone something and watch him do nothing or even make an effort to consider what input has been given to him.
To answer these questions and to be able to do something about them makes the difference between success and failure.
One would know about one's weaknesses surely as along the way there would have been people who have pointed them out to us in good faith.If you are proactive and sensitive you would think of how to handle these.I have noted that the are people who moan and groan about traffic jams.So ? Dont they realize that traffic jams are part and parcel of life in the city .Do they ever consider how pathetic their groans and moans seem to thinking people.? People of substance would think of how to cope with such a situation instead of moaning and groaning .If you expect pity or sympathy from people , forget it as they will only recognize how ineffective you are as a person.Life is about choices and we are blessed that we can make choices.What matters is if we know how .
Steven Covey made his point very clearly that successful people never let circumstances control them but they control the circumstances.I can give lots of examples but I feel it would be belaboring the obvious.
If you cant manage your personal life how can you manage the external forces which are part and parcel of your life ? Success comes with constant reminders , countless determination to improve and constant efforts to improve.We have our weaknesses >the difference between the successful person and the failure is the one recognizes them and keep on working to get rid of them whilst the failure just moan and groan and never bother to think of ways and means to improve.There is nothing so sickening as to tell someone something and watch him do nothing or even make an effort to consider what input has been given to him.
Friday, October 2, 2015
The superior and the Mediocre
We see a lot of young people trying to make the best of their lives ,making a living, building a home and work for a future for their children.In the process we see the different kinds of young people and there is definitely a clear line of distinction between the superior and the mediocre.The superior is ambitious, works hard and has a clear cut sense of direction.he knows what he wants and knows what it takes to get it.He is all the time alert , listening and digesting information and making use of what he has picked up.
The mediocre will not even listen and if you hope that external input and stimulus will motivate him or even make him spare a thought , you better think twice.I call these people "Deadwood ". They are dead to any kind of stimulus , are complacent and live in their own comfort zone.They will not budge or try to make a difference in their lifestyle.They watch things happen and flow with the tide .you would not expect them to make things happen because they are not sensitive to any sort of stimuli .Looking at their body language will tell you a lot about them.When in a group , they do not participate intelligently and can only be good enough to make some obvious remarks from time to time.An example would be ,if they see someone back from somewhere they seek to ask " You just came back from ...? ". So obvious a question that it needs not be asked and even asking it makes you sound stupid.
Superior people if they have nothing to ask will just listen and absorb what is being said and learn from it.talking to a mediocre person is like talking to a wall and what makes it so annoying is that they never seem to listen .People change and change is the impetus for improvement >If you do not change your way how can you improve.Of course change is not necessarily for the better but if you are sensitive enough when somebody points out your weakness you may see the need to make a change.If not, who can blame you for being called a "Deadwood ?"/
Life is about betterment and improvement .the superior person will always be self analytical and be sensible enough to make changes.There are people who live in traffic congested areas and only know how to complain about traffic jams.Given, that traffic jams are a way of life , there are certainly ways to circumvent it if you are proactive and intelligent enough. If need to , leave at 6am and be back off peak hours.There are other alternatives like change jobs, change place of work but for these options to work one must be thinking individuals and not people who just moan and groan without making any real efforts to circumvent the problem/Consider, going to work early and coming home late and what this will make your employer think of you.
The difference between the two types of people will be seen in terms of the responsibilities and trust given to them and the high level of confidence which people will tend to have of them .Its time to look at ourselves and assess which category of people we want to be in.
The mediocre will not even listen and if you hope that external input and stimulus will motivate him or even make him spare a thought , you better think twice.I call these people "Deadwood ". They are dead to any kind of stimulus , are complacent and live in their own comfort zone.They will not budge or try to make a difference in their lifestyle.They watch things happen and flow with the tide .you would not expect them to make things happen because they are not sensitive to any sort of stimuli .Looking at their body language will tell you a lot about them.When in a group , they do not participate intelligently and can only be good enough to make some obvious remarks from time to time.An example would be ,if they see someone back from somewhere they seek to ask " You just came back from ...? ". So obvious a question that it needs not be asked and even asking it makes you sound stupid.
Superior people if they have nothing to ask will just listen and absorb what is being said and learn from it.talking to a mediocre person is like talking to a wall and what makes it so annoying is that they never seem to listen .People change and change is the impetus for improvement >If you do not change your way how can you improve.Of course change is not necessarily for the better but if you are sensitive enough when somebody points out your weakness you may see the need to make a change.If not, who can blame you for being called a "Deadwood ?"/
Life is about betterment and improvement .the superior person will always be self analytical and be sensible enough to make changes.There are people who live in traffic congested areas and only know how to complain about traffic jams.Given, that traffic jams are a way of life , there are certainly ways to circumvent it if you are proactive and intelligent enough. If need to , leave at 6am and be back off peak hours.There are other alternatives like change jobs, change place of work but for these options to work one must be thinking individuals and not people who just moan and groan without making any real efforts to circumvent the problem/Consider, going to work early and coming home late and what this will make your employer think of you.
The difference between the two types of people will be seen in terms of the responsibilities and trust given to them and the high level of confidence which people will tend to have of them .Its time to look at ourselves and assess which category of people we want to be in.
Thursday, October 1, 2015
A matter of character.
It really irks me to see people turn scruffy .Wearing clothes which are not well ironed and failing to groom oneself are annoying things to discerning people.I cant figure out why shaving is so difficult when indeed it should be a matter of daily routine.Imagine facing your boss and clients with scruffy , untidy growth on your face .What will be the impression you give to the people whom you have to face ?I had a teacher under me who once came to work with his " whiskers " growing haphazardly on his face and I told him in no uncertain terms to go home and have a good shave before he faces his students.From that day on he was always cleanly shaved and presentable as befitting a man of his status.
Personal grooming is something which in a way will differentiate the quality man from the mediocre.If you have to face people ,you have to understand that they are quick to criticize and judge .Imagine talking business with hairs sticking out from all over your face .What will others be thinking of you? There will be some who fall back on the premise that " It does not matter what others think of me ".If you have this kind of attitude then you might as well be a Robinson Crusoe or Tarzan who happily wears a loin cloth .We cant run away from the fact that we are social animals and like it or nor people's impressions of you count.
How can people think highly of you if you cant even manage yourself? When employers think of a candidate for promotion what do they look at ? For one, I am sure they would consider your personality , how you carry yourself , how you present yourself ,other than your job attitude , job knowledge, team work and etc.If we were to consider someone for managerial positions these factors will certainly count.A well presented individual would certainly give confidence and be a good symbol of corporate image.
My previous employer in the Renong Group of Companies would ensure that all executive staff representing the company be attired in coat and tie and this rule makes sense as our clients would then look at us with some kind of admiration for we were properly attired.In the government too all senior officers must be at least properly attired with shirt and tie.This is image and certainly at first impression image goes a long way.A bit of self appraisal , a good look at oneself in the mirror from time to time will go a long way to boost up your character.
Personal grooming is something which in a way will differentiate the quality man from the mediocre.If you have to face people ,you have to understand that they are quick to criticize and judge .Imagine talking business with hairs sticking out from all over your face .What will others be thinking of you? There will be some who fall back on the premise that " It does not matter what others think of me ".If you have this kind of attitude then you might as well be a Robinson Crusoe or Tarzan who happily wears a loin cloth .We cant run away from the fact that we are social animals and like it or nor people's impressions of you count.
How can people think highly of you if you cant even manage yourself? When employers think of a candidate for promotion what do they look at ? For one, I am sure they would consider your personality , how you carry yourself , how you present yourself ,other than your job attitude , job knowledge, team work and etc.If we were to consider someone for managerial positions these factors will certainly count.A well presented individual would certainly give confidence and be a good symbol of corporate image.
My previous employer in the Renong Group of Companies would ensure that all executive staff representing the company be attired in coat and tie and this rule makes sense as our clients would then look at us with some kind of admiration for we were properly attired.In the government too all senior officers must be at least properly attired with shirt and tie.This is image and certainly at first impression image goes a long way.A bit of self appraisal , a good look at oneself in the mirror from time to time will go a long way to boost up your character.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Doctors
The year 2015 is special in terms of medical encounters.I have seen quite a number of doctors to treat my various ailments.Most of them were seen at the insistence of my dear wife who would happily recommend to see various doctors.
Other than my cardiologist whom I have been seeing for the past ten years I have also seen the following :
1.Dr. Ernest who did the operation to change my pacer battery.He is in his forties and quite an efficient surgeon.He did the operation in less than 40 minutes and I had only to stay one day in the hospital.
2,Dr.Shamila , kidney specialist.I know her from the time she was a little girl and in the same school as the twins.She saw me to make sure that my kidneys are in good condition with all the medication I am taking.
3. Dr.Ainon from Sime Darby Hospital.She treated me when my sugar level suddenly shot up and did my blood tests and etc. She was my doctor for three days when I was hospitalized and she managed to get my sugar level down.
4.Dr.Ong , bone specialist son of an old friend whom I consulted for my back problem.
5. Dr. Nadarajah an endocrinologist whom I saw recently to check my diabetes.
6. Chinese Sinseh A who treated my back problem .
7. Chinese Sinseh B who did acupuncture on me for 6 times .No result or improvement.
8.Chinese Sinseh C who did a bit of bone stretching and biometric treatment plus acupuncture.
Seeing 8 doctors within the year has made me summarize :
a) no two doctors will diagnose the problem similarly.
b) doctors will try to get you to undergo all sorts of treatment so they can make more money out of you.
c) they will ensure that you keep coming back to see them.
d) they will use you as a guinea pig to ascertain their diagnosis and the treatment which they prescribe.
e) most doctors seem to have forgotten that they are doctors basically to treat sick people and save lives.
This experiences have made me lose a bit of my faith and trust in doctors.
Other than my cardiologist whom I have been seeing for the past ten years I have also seen the following :
1.Dr. Ernest who did the operation to change my pacer battery.He is in his forties and quite an efficient surgeon.He did the operation in less than 40 minutes and I had only to stay one day in the hospital.
2,Dr.Shamila , kidney specialist.I know her from the time she was a little girl and in the same school as the twins.She saw me to make sure that my kidneys are in good condition with all the medication I am taking.
3. Dr.Ainon from Sime Darby Hospital.She treated me when my sugar level suddenly shot up and did my blood tests and etc. She was my doctor for three days when I was hospitalized and she managed to get my sugar level down.
4.Dr.Ong , bone specialist son of an old friend whom I consulted for my back problem.
5. Dr. Nadarajah an endocrinologist whom I saw recently to check my diabetes.
6. Chinese Sinseh A who treated my back problem .
7. Chinese Sinseh B who did acupuncture on me for 6 times .No result or improvement.
8.Chinese Sinseh C who did a bit of bone stretching and biometric treatment plus acupuncture.
Seeing 8 doctors within the year has made me summarize :
a) no two doctors will diagnose the problem similarly.
b) doctors will try to get you to undergo all sorts of treatment so they can make more money out of you.
c) they will ensure that you keep coming back to see them.
d) they will use you as a guinea pig to ascertain their diagnosis and the treatment which they prescribe.
e) most doctors seem to have forgotten that they are doctors basically to treat sick people and save lives.
This experiences have made me lose a bit of my faith and trust in doctors.
Friday, July 31, 2015
Random thoughts
I cannot help but notice the people around me these days and have to comment :
1.Dress and grooming. Looking at young people nowadays i cannot help but say that they have no dress sense .They wear clothes without giving a thought to color match, clothes suitability, their own physical make up and lots of other things which go with good grooming.
Its good to know the difference between dressing up and dressing down.A person who can differentiate this and know how to do so accordingly will go a long way..Too often we see people dressing sloppily and put on such an untidy appearance.Its good to look at ourselves critically in the mirror once in awhile.
People somehow will look at you from your outward appearance .How you dress, what type of dress you wear and the quality of your wardrobe goes a long way in people's assessment of you."Clothes maketh the man " is food for thought.Everyone will appreciate a clean cut young man and certainly not one who projects an image of untidiness and sloppiness.
Sad to say personal grooming has gone to the dogs .To me a persons grooming from head to toe counts.When I interview staff one of the things I look at is the condition of his shoes .A pair of well polished and clean shoes will tell us a lot about the person .
2.Manners.
What happened to good manners, politeness and courtesy ? I have come across many students who dont know how to greet people and when I come across such people I deliberately say " Good Morning , afternoon or evening " as the case would be .then they would look sheepishly and say the same thing.
3.Habits.
I cant imagine having dinner without first having a good shower.I suppose this is due to the home training which we had when we were young.My parents would always make sure that we were clean whenever we sat down at the dining table.I believe this was good training but today many young people do no seem to have this habit.Table manners seem to be a thing of the past and sometimes its painful to see this happening right before your eyes.
4.Sensitivity.
People do not know how to listen.Advice given by the elders are hardly noted .If you dont know how to listen and open your mind how can you learn and how can you improve ?
5. In search of excellence.
I have always taught my students to aim to be the best and excel in whatever they do.We see a lot of young people bitten by the complacency bug and they seem to have no drive or aim to excel.Seemingly they lack the motivation and self esteem to want to be the best..
As we see it young people are not made of the stuff which the older generation are and it makes one wonder how come this has happened , what with all the technology and knowledge available today as compared with the olden days ?
1.Dress and grooming. Looking at young people nowadays i cannot help but say that they have no dress sense .They wear clothes without giving a thought to color match, clothes suitability, their own physical make up and lots of other things which go with good grooming.
Its good to know the difference between dressing up and dressing down.A person who can differentiate this and know how to do so accordingly will go a long way..Too often we see people dressing sloppily and put on such an untidy appearance.Its good to look at ourselves critically in the mirror once in awhile.
People somehow will look at you from your outward appearance .How you dress, what type of dress you wear and the quality of your wardrobe goes a long way in people's assessment of you."Clothes maketh the man " is food for thought.Everyone will appreciate a clean cut young man and certainly not one who projects an image of untidiness and sloppiness.
Sad to say personal grooming has gone to the dogs .To me a persons grooming from head to toe counts.When I interview staff one of the things I look at is the condition of his shoes .A pair of well polished and clean shoes will tell us a lot about the person .
2.Manners.
What happened to good manners, politeness and courtesy ? I have come across many students who dont know how to greet people and when I come across such people I deliberately say " Good Morning , afternoon or evening " as the case would be .then they would look sheepishly and say the same thing.
3.Habits.
I cant imagine having dinner without first having a good shower.I suppose this is due to the home training which we had when we were young.My parents would always make sure that we were clean whenever we sat down at the dining table.I believe this was good training but today many young people do no seem to have this habit.Table manners seem to be a thing of the past and sometimes its painful to see this happening right before your eyes.
4.Sensitivity.
People do not know how to listen.Advice given by the elders are hardly noted .If you dont know how to listen and open your mind how can you learn and how can you improve ?
5. In search of excellence.
I have always taught my students to aim to be the best and excel in whatever they do.We see a lot of young people bitten by the complacency bug and they seem to have no drive or aim to excel.Seemingly they lack the motivation and self esteem to want to be the best..
As we see it young people are not made of the stuff which the older generation are and it makes one wonder how come this has happened , what with all the technology and knowledge available today as compared with the olden days ?
Friday, May 22, 2015
Fighting the battles.
As I reach the 75th milestone life becomes more challenging and to a certain extent interesting as I find myself in a few battles which I have to win in order to reach the further milestones:
1. The battle against diabetes.
Since I discovered that the sugar level shot up like crazy after the Chinese New year its necessary to try to overcome this.the battle strategy is to diet , be selective about food and drinks and to have lots of exercise.
Food control means an almost sugarless diet ,with the same stuff almost everyday .It also means abstaining from the food I love, like noodles, sweets ,ice cream and white rice.Food taken is generally bland but mum uses her creativity to come up with edible dishes .This make life much easier and her support and care are invaluable in times like this.
It also means medication which must not be avoided and at the end of the day it is discipline which sees one through.
2.The battle against back and leg sprain.
I have been suffering from this for more than two months ever sine I twisted the back during one of the golf games.Its painful to walk especially climbing up the stairs.From the car park to my office its 44 steps and double that if I go out for lunch.This journey is difficult and painful but there is no choice as this route has to be taken.
The strategy here is to get traditional treatment which includes acupuncture.I have never done acupuncture before and it was only out of desperation that I tried it.Its quite traumatic to say the least and each time you kind of wince anticipating the penetration of the needles on your nerve points.It last for about 45 minutes and this time is filled with discomfort and stress.
After 4 visits it seems to be getting better as the doctor says he has to realign the nerves and veins or whatever.My aim is to get well asap so I can return to my golf as soon as possible.
3.Battle 3.
Thoughts of getting back to golf were dashed when it was discovered that my pacer battery has to be replaced soon .The process involves an operation to take out the pacer and put in a new battery .As a result it will take 3 months or so for the pacer to settle down and the wound to heal so there goes my golf.
These are some of life's battles which need to be faced and must be won.Losing any one of these would make life difficult and perhaps lead to unforeseen circumstances.Fortunately I am not fighting these battles alone as I have the support of the family and friends which will definitely provide me with all the encouragement and strength needed to fight some of life's battle.
1. The battle against diabetes.
Since I discovered that the sugar level shot up like crazy after the Chinese New year its necessary to try to overcome this.the battle strategy is to diet , be selective about food and drinks and to have lots of exercise.
Food control means an almost sugarless diet ,with the same stuff almost everyday .It also means abstaining from the food I love, like noodles, sweets ,ice cream and white rice.Food taken is generally bland but mum uses her creativity to come up with edible dishes .This make life much easier and her support and care are invaluable in times like this.
It also means medication which must not be avoided and at the end of the day it is discipline which sees one through.
2.The battle against back and leg sprain.
I have been suffering from this for more than two months ever sine I twisted the back during one of the golf games.Its painful to walk especially climbing up the stairs.From the car park to my office its 44 steps and double that if I go out for lunch.This journey is difficult and painful but there is no choice as this route has to be taken.
The strategy here is to get traditional treatment which includes acupuncture.I have never done acupuncture before and it was only out of desperation that I tried it.Its quite traumatic to say the least and each time you kind of wince anticipating the penetration of the needles on your nerve points.It last for about 45 minutes and this time is filled with discomfort and stress.
After 4 visits it seems to be getting better as the doctor says he has to realign the nerves and veins or whatever.My aim is to get well asap so I can return to my golf as soon as possible.
3.Battle 3.
Thoughts of getting back to golf were dashed when it was discovered that my pacer battery has to be replaced soon .The process involves an operation to take out the pacer and put in a new battery .As a result it will take 3 months or so for the pacer to settle down and the wound to heal so there goes my golf.
These are some of life's battles which need to be faced and must be won.Losing any one of these would make life difficult and perhaps lead to unforeseen circumstances.Fortunately I am not fighting these battles alone as I have the support of the family and friends which will definitely provide me with all the encouragement and strength needed to fight some of life's battle.
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