We are fortunate to watch our children growing up and bringing up their own families.As parents we have always wanted the best for our children,in terms of education,health,values and a life of their own in time to come.We are happy that our kids have found their spouses and have children of their own.Its good to see them play their roles as spouses and parents and on looking back we realize that the way they do this is quite different from the way we played ours but then times are no longer the same.
Being able to see this transformation is special and we too have to fathom how we are to play our roles as parents ,in laws ,and grandparents.The guiding principle which we always have to keep in mind is that the kids are now grown up and its no secret that they think they are smarter than us but little do they realize that we also play the smart game by being there for them always and subtly guiding them in an inoffensive way.
As one generation grows ,sadly the other slowly starts to fade away.We have lost a number of our contemporaries and its painful to see some of them staring to fade away.The ravages of time and disease are slowing taking its toll.All the hardships which we went through in our younger days bringing up a family are slowing taking its toll.Fatigue,sickness ,physical wear and tear starts to take its toll and those of us who for the time being are free from all these can only look in pain at what our contemporaries are going though knowing that our turn will come inevitably.
We have to be grateful for what we have now and try to make the best use of the time left to us.Sometimes when we talk of our grandchildren going to school or college we look hard at them and a silent tear falls as we realize how difficult it will be for us to live to see that day!But life will go on ,they will have their parents to share this with them just like our children had us to share their special moments with them.
We are proud to be able to bring up our girls as best as we could and up till today a lot of my friends still say its a wonder with our paltry salaries as govt. servants we were able to provide all our children with a university education.It was tough but mum and I are tough people and somehow we managed and today we can look back with pride and satisfaction to see our children successful and more importantly having a life of their own.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Changing lifestyle
Its the month of Ramadan once again and I cant help but notice the changes which have come along with it.In the 70s and 80s we used to get invitations to "Buka Puasa" with our Muslim friends in their homes.And after we had eaten we would spend some time talking and continuing eating the little tit bits which would be served all night long.It forged a close relationship between Muslims and non Muslims and also made our understanding of Ramadan better.
Today "Buka Puasa " is so highly commercialized that breaking fast has lost some of its meaning.Imagine feasting on lavish food after a day's fasting!This defeats the purpose of fasting as I see it.Ramadan is the holy month in the Muslim Calender and the whole purpose of fasting is to remind Muslims about being humble ,be thankful,and to be frugal.In the early days breaking fast was simple and gave friends and family a chance to get together and build up their bond with each other.There was no need to serve lavish food or overeat(People tend to do this because they have paid high prices for the buffet and in line with the kiasu mentality must have their money's worth).This attitude itself defeats the purpose of fasting.
In our early years on Raya Day our Muslim friends would come with trays of homemade kueh which we happily received because it was special for we knew our friends took a long time to make them.We would reciprocate during Chinese New Year of course.Sadly today this practice has died and maybe practised only in the kampongs or small towns.The Raya kueh is no longer homemade but bought and of course tastes different.
Those days there were no massive traffic jams as the number of cars were not that many but today?Travelling during Raya time today is a nightmare as compared with before.Sadly enough ,it has become a challenge to the govt.to ensure that the number of accidents are kept as low as possible.This is because of the heavy traffic which is a feature of the Raya holidays.In the early days this was never an issue.Today people have become more affluent and the number of people owning motor vehicles has increased tremendously that accidents are unavoidable.Price we pay for progress?
As a country progresses changes are inevitable but for us seniors we cant help but feel there is nothing better than the good old days when people were more sincere and less materialistic.
Today "Buka Puasa " is so highly commercialized that breaking fast has lost some of its meaning.Imagine feasting on lavish food after a day's fasting!This defeats the purpose of fasting as I see it.Ramadan is the holy month in the Muslim Calender and the whole purpose of fasting is to remind Muslims about being humble ,be thankful,and to be frugal.In the early days breaking fast was simple and gave friends and family a chance to get together and build up their bond with each other.There was no need to serve lavish food or overeat(People tend to do this because they have paid high prices for the buffet and in line with the kiasu mentality must have their money's worth).This attitude itself defeats the purpose of fasting.
In our early years on Raya Day our Muslim friends would come with trays of homemade kueh which we happily received because it was special for we knew our friends took a long time to make them.We would reciprocate during Chinese New Year of course.Sadly today this practice has died and maybe practised only in the kampongs or small towns.The Raya kueh is no longer homemade but bought and of course tastes different.
Those days there were no massive traffic jams as the number of cars were not that many but today?Travelling during Raya time today is a nightmare as compared with before.Sadly enough ,it has become a challenge to the govt.to ensure that the number of accidents are kept as low as possible.This is because of the heavy traffic which is a feature of the Raya holidays.In the early days this was never an issue.Today people have become more affluent and the number of people owning motor vehicles has increased tremendously that accidents are unavoidable.Price we pay for progress?
As a country progresses changes are inevitable but for us seniors we cant help but feel there is nothing better than the good old days when people were more sincere and less materialistic.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
The kampong in me
As I grow older cannot help but think back to the simple t life which I experienced in small towns .Dad was a govt.servant and he worked in Tapah for a while .This is a little two street town and there is a beautiful river and some small streams running across the town.We stayed in govt. quarters in Baldwin Hill and all the houses here were govt. houses.Dont know if they are still there.
Spent my primary school years here and it was real fun.Swimming in the river,diving from the high rock onto the swirling waters without any fear or awareness of danger was a daily affair.So was getting the rotan from mum.
We used our catapaults to shoot squirrels and birds and barbecued them on the spot.Mangoes and rambutans were not spared.Mangoes (raw and sour) were eaten with a pinch of salt in the hands,water was drunk from the taps and eating anything outside the home was with your bare hands (Dont remember having to wash them).
School was fun ,learning little and playing all the time.I cannot imagine that I played rugby,hockey ,football and running.In a small town during that time they was no other form of entertainment and our way of passing time was playing all the games and being in the outdoors.We were usually home by 6 and had to get ready for dinner.Mum would not let us sit on the dining table without a shower and change of clothes.No hot water but fresh cold water contained in a big porcelain urn was our source of water.It was common for us to sing out loud so that you did not feel the coldness of the water.
Because we had really nothing to eat after lunch dinner was a much anticipated affair.Lots of rice,sambal belachan,salt fish and curry were the staple food .It was simple fare but it went well with rice and what was more important we were never hungry after dinner as we ate rice more than anything else so that the stomach is full.
Today I would still prefer a meal like this rather than all the rich food available.Chicken was only served on special occasions but it really did not bother us.We were a big family,6 children ,mum and dad and one grandmother but though dad did not earn much there was always enough for us to eat albeit not the types of rich food people eat today.We had enough rice to eat and that was the most important thing.We were taught never to waste food and mum would make sure that whatever was served was finished at the end of the meal.
As TV was unheard of we spent time on our books after dinner and the usual siblings chatter and bickering.Movies ,yam cha and all that was out and it was strictly indoors after dinner.
When I stayed in Teluk Intan it was an extension of the simple life but mum and I did a lot of things together.Going to the market every Sunday was a norm and eating by the market stalls was equally good.I remember before Chinese New Year we would always go to the market at night and buy all the New Year goodies and it was meaningful to do things as a couple.Today many couples dont do this kind of thing being so wrapped up in the daily hassle of life.This ,many do not realize, is a great bonding exercise.Our entertainment was only the movies and mostly during the weekends and the cinema was the place where you would meet a lot of your friends.
It was only in a small town that we could enjoy seeing our children floating in a plastic tub when the floods came every year and flooded the town.The kids had great fun those days .Sadly today,our grandchildren would not enjoy such fun today.
There is so much more to life when you live in a small town.People are simple,warm and caring and life is certainly less stressful and complicated than living in a big town where everyone seems to be more concerned about careers and work to the extent that they have no time to enjoy the simple things in life and lose their sense of direction.
Spent my primary school years here and it was real fun.Swimming in the river,diving from the high rock onto the swirling waters without any fear or awareness of danger was a daily affair.So was getting the rotan from mum.
We used our catapaults to shoot squirrels and birds and barbecued them on the spot.Mangoes and rambutans were not spared.Mangoes (raw and sour) were eaten with a pinch of salt in the hands,water was drunk from the taps and eating anything outside the home was with your bare hands (Dont remember having to wash them).
School was fun ,learning little and playing all the time.I cannot imagine that I played rugby,hockey ,football and running.In a small town during that time they was no other form of entertainment and our way of passing time was playing all the games and being in the outdoors.We were usually home by 6 and had to get ready for dinner.Mum would not let us sit on the dining table without a shower and change of clothes.No hot water but fresh cold water contained in a big porcelain urn was our source of water.It was common for us to sing out loud so that you did not feel the coldness of the water.
Because we had really nothing to eat after lunch dinner was a much anticipated affair.Lots of rice,sambal belachan,salt fish and curry were the staple food .It was simple fare but it went well with rice and what was more important we were never hungry after dinner as we ate rice more than anything else so that the stomach is full.
Today I would still prefer a meal like this rather than all the rich food available.Chicken was only served on special occasions but it really did not bother us.We were a big family,6 children ,mum and dad and one grandmother but though dad did not earn much there was always enough for us to eat albeit not the types of rich food people eat today.We had enough rice to eat and that was the most important thing.We were taught never to waste food and mum would make sure that whatever was served was finished at the end of the meal.
As TV was unheard of we spent time on our books after dinner and the usual siblings chatter and bickering.Movies ,yam cha and all that was out and it was strictly indoors after dinner.
When I stayed in Teluk Intan it was an extension of the simple life but mum and I did a lot of things together.Going to the market every Sunday was a norm and eating by the market stalls was equally good.I remember before Chinese New Year we would always go to the market at night and buy all the New Year goodies and it was meaningful to do things as a couple.Today many couples dont do this kind of thing being so wrapped up in the daily hassle of life.This ,many do not realize, is a great bonding exercise.Our entertainment was only the movies and mostly during the weekends and the cinema was the place where you would meet a lot of your friends.
It was only in a small town that we could enjoy seeing our children floating in a plastic tub when the floods came every year and flooded the town.The kids had great fun those days .Sadly today,our grandchildren would not enjoy such fun today.
There is so much more to life when you live in a small town.People are simple,warm and caring and life is certainly less stressful and complicated than living in a big town where everyone seems to be more concerned about careers and work to the extent that they have no time to enjoy the simple things in life and lose their sense of direction.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Family and life's balance
As you grow older you find that spending time with the family becomes increasingly important.Even a family dinner takes new dimensions as we realize that its not easy to get all the children and their spouses to sit down with you on the dinner table.To have little Aaron and Kyra together would add so much more to the fun of family members sitting together.On hindsight the weekly dinners with family brings back more meaning to the Reunion Dinner on the eve of Chinese New Year and that is one of the reasons why family members must really make the effort to be there.
Quality time means so much in the context of the daily hassle which we have to go through.This is especially so in the case of young people who are trying to make an impact in their careers to the extent that they have no time for themselves and because of the stress which they face in work become grouchies and lose track of their purpose in life.We should not forget that life is not all about making careers and money but its also having the skill to ensure that you have a bit of quality time for yourself.Never work at the expense of your physical and mental well being.No work or career in the world is worth it!
Quality time means so much in the context of the daily hassle which we have to go through.This is especially so in the case of young people who are trying to make an impact in their careers to the extent that they have no time for themselves and because of the stress which they face in work become grouchies and lose track of their purpose in life.We should not forget that life is not all about making careers and money but its also having the skill to ensure that you have a bit of quality time for yourself.Never work at the expense of your physical and mental well being.No work or career in the world is worth it!
Monday, July 25, 2011
A wedding anniversary
Last night we attended a dinner to celebrate our nephew's 20 years of marriage and it got me thinking about marriage.When we got married a vow and commitment was made "to take each other as your lawful wife and husband,to cherish ,love each other in sickness and in health...".that's what marriage is all about and what makes it so special is how two people out of the millions in the world can choose each other and share life's blessings and tribulations together for the rest of their lives.Living together,sharing things ( the good, the bad and the ugly) often brings out the best and worst in people.We are the most familiar with our spouses and its not unusual that the one who understands us the most and shares things with us the most is the other half.
Anniversaries are special in the sense that after so many years of marriage it's the time for renewal,renewal of our commitment to each other,our bond ,our feelings and our passage through life together.Celebrating the anniversary has this special meaning and people who do not know will just look at it as a gathering of friends and relatives.For the two people who celebrate the anniversary its much more than this.
Anniversaries are special in the sense that after so many years of marriage it's the time for renewal,renewal of our commitment to each other,our bond ,our feelings and our passage through life together.Celebrating the anniversary has this special meaning and people who do not know will just look at it as a gathering of friends and relatives.For the two people who celebrate the anniversary its much more than this.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Old Boys
Saturday 23rd July was the annual get together of the St.Anthony's Old Boys and we went to show our support.As teachers it made us feel good to see our boys and girls grown up and many of them are today holding important positions in society.What made us feel even better is the fact that they are still loyal to the Alma Mater and many of them talked about their fun filled school days and I was touched when a few of them came up to me and said 'Do you remember you caned me? And do you know because of that I'm here today, a better person.Thank you Sir"
We have always taught our students and our own children to hold on to values,to be all rounded individuals ,good in their chosen fields and yet possessing some of the intrinsic values of life.As teachers and parents nothing makes us happier than to see them growing up with this.Its not easy to accept values if you do not have them at the outset.Children who grow up in homes where there is sharing ,caring, happiness and family unity tend to carry this on to their adult life but children who grow up in homes where there is no family unity and values become difficult and shallow people in their later lives.
Our children and students have always been taught to be caring,humble,aim for excellence and never forget their roots.One of my students came up and said" Sir,I will always remember you because you paid for my exam. fees>If not for that I would not have made it in life" I did not remember that because it was just a small gesture but I did not realize it made such a difference in somebody's life.
It's amazing how such little acts of helping comes back to you after so many years and surely its one of life's satisfaction which money cannot buy so all money god worshipers please note there are so many more things in life than just dollars and cents!
We have always taught our students and our own children to hold on to values,to be all rounded individuals ,good in their chosen fields and yet possessing some of the intrinsic values of life.As teachers and parents nothing makes us happier than to see them growing up with this.Its not easy to accept values if you do not have them at the outset.Children who grow up in homes where there is sharing ,caring, happiness and family unity tend to carry this on to their adult life but children who grow up in homes where there is no family unity and values become difficult and shallow people in their later lives.
Our children and students have always been taught to be caring,humble,aim for excellence and never forget their roots.One of my students came up and said" Sir,I will always remember you because you paid for my exam. fees>If not for that I would not have made it in life" I did not remember that because it was just a small gesture but I did not realize it made such a difference in somebody's life.
It's amazing how such little acts of helping comes back to you after so many years and surely its one of life's satisfaction which money cannot buy so all money god worshipers please note there are so many more things in life than just dollars and cents!
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