Friday, December 7, 2012

A 45 year long journey

In a few days time ,an auspicious day this year 12.12.12 we will be celebrating our 45 year anniversary and its a time for reflection on the years gone by ,certainly with a lot of nostalgia and sentiments. I look back at the time when mum was still a teenager and me a fresh graduate from the University full of dreams and idealism.We met as we were teaching in the same school in Teluk Intan and it being a small town the teacher community was quite close knit.We saw each other every day in school but really never got down to talking.I saw in her a sweet ,simple girl (Quite different from the city girls I knew in KL) and probably it was this simplicity which attracted me to her in the first place.I dont know what she saw in me but it was later found out that she was curious about the tall skinny guy who happened to be the first University grad in this small town. We got to know each other through a birthday party of my landlady's daughter and the then eligible bachelor was introduced formally to her.After the party I asked her how she was going home and she said " Walk"and I offered to walk home with her and so we took the walk to her house.You can call it a moonlight walk and it was the start of our relationship. Those days courtship was quite unexciting as compared with today but perhaps more meaningful.We went to movies together and after that a simple supper .I had no car at that time ,not even a bicycle but she did not really mind.If we did not go to the movies we would be in her house just talking and before I went home we would go for supper or I would "ta pau" for her.There were not many choices but it was good enough. After 3 years of courtship we got married ,she at the tender age of 21 and me at the age of 27. Thus began our journey together through life.We had nothing at that time.My salary had to partly go to my parents and what was left was used for our common expenses.Of course as she was also earning she did chip in too.To us money was never an issue and as far as I could remember we never argued over money.We had a great relationship,doing things together and planning our future with each other.It was fortunate in a way that we were both teachers and both had no lavish desires.We were quite contented just being with each other.Going to the market together was something which we never missed and she would take the trouble to learn from my mum the dishes which I like . She is a great cook as we can all testify and all these years whenever I come home in the evening she would be at the kitchen and nowhere else.This was the kind of comfort that I have till today.She believes that behind every man's success there is a good woman and she played this role to perfection.She made sure that I could go forth in my career not having to worry about home affairs which she took charge of so competently.She has always given me the support a man needs and me on my part have never failed to seek her opinion on the things I wanted to do and if that something displeased her then it would not be done.It was this kind of mutual respect and consultation which led us to avoid any unnecessary misunderstanding. Sure there were little misunderstandings here and there but she always made it a point to have the issues settled before bedtime as she said conflicts should never go onto the next day. She is a wonderful wife , mother and grandmother and I'm sure she has touched all the family in her own unique way.Her love for her children and grandchildren is boundless and I always believe she will do anything for the family.Her strategy for bringing the family together if through Food and she will always make sure that the family comes home to a hot meal every day.Though one can feel her tiredness she has never complained about the things she has to do for the family.That is the unique thing about her, always putting the interest of others before hers.Many a time you can see through how she eats.She would eat the chicken legs,or the fish heard and leave the fleshy parts to the children.Never once did I see her grabbing the choice portions for herself. Today as I look at her I cant help to think of what she has been through with me and the family and I cant imagine what everyone would do without her.I cant help but think of how the sweet,simple girl whom I married has bloomed to become what she is today, a wonderful wife and confidante,a loving mother and a doting grandma.I can only say how fortunate I am to have her as my wife and lifelong companion.I sometimes wonder too if I have given her enough of what she deserves and if not I still have the time to do so. Thank you my dear wife for giving me 45 wonderful and meaningful years !I would not trade what we have and had for anything in the world !